artanis_neravar said:
There's this girl I like and I'm not sure if she likes me, but that's not the point. She is the best friend of my best friends fiance. She will be the Maid of Honor, while I will be the Best Man at the wedding next year. My question is coming up, bear with me please. I've known this girl for four years now, just as acquaintances, but this summer the four of us have been hanging out a lot (movies, at my friends apartment, we helped him move this past weekend, etc) and I've seen her nerdy side and I've grown to like her. Now for my question: Is it better to ask a girl out now, when you are still more acquaintances, or is it better to become friends before trying for a relationship?
*It might also be important to note that I am hesitant to discuss it with my friend or his fiance, mostly because I dated one of her friends for two years in college before we broke up (she dumped me) my friendship with my ex deteriorated soon after, and I worry a little that that experience might have turned them off to me dating this girl.
Just to sum up:
My question is not whether I should ask her out or not, just what people think is better: Go from friends to a relationship, or start a relationship when you are still getting to know each other.
Firstly, ignore anyone who uses the term "Friends Zone". This zone does not exist. There is only "she likes you enough to be in a relationship with you" and "she does not like you enough to be in a relationship with you". Anything else is nonsense.
Secondly, straight to relationship. Sooner the better. You've known her 4 years already, how much longer do you want to wait? Do it, preferably before you finish reading this sentence, not because of some "Friends Zone" malarkey (which is always just an excuse thought up by people to justify their failure at this sort of thing, because it couldn't possibly be that
she doesn't like them now, could it), just because if you don't do it, I guarantee you that someone else will first.
