Poll: Respect: Does it need to be earned?

[Kolby Jack]

One especially common phrase that just irks me to no end is "Respect needs to be earned." Why? What gives you the right to determine whether or not someone is worthy of respect? I just don't understand that kind of mentality, yet I see it everywhere. Sure, often times this isn't set in stone; most people are polite to those they just met. I just can't stand how some people can hold their own worth above anyone else's until that person has actually WORKED to be worthy of their respect.

So where do you stand, random internet strangers? Is respect something that has to be earned, or is it something afforded to everyone until they prove they don't deserve it?

 

[Jonluw]

I treat everyone pretty neutrally until I've figured them out a bit.
I wouldn't say they have to earn my respect, but I certainly don't respect them as the default position.
How about this:
I initially give everyone a basic degree of respect, but they are in no way entitled to that respect.

If someone's trying to get through a suggestion that requires I respect their opinion to go through with, I won't go along with it unless they've earned that respect.

 

[linwolf]

For me there is two kinds of respect. Common decency that I will show everybody unless they do something to loose it. And real respect that stems from showing that at a given subject you are really good.

 

[DoPo]

I believe that respect should be earned. But this works both ways, it's not an excuse to say "I'm better than you until you prove me wrong". Not acting like a douche earns you respect with other people, you know. And besides, the respect scale (so to say) isn't 0 to 100 or something, with everybody starting at 0. As, Jonluw said, I start of neutral. Respect can be earned but it can also be lost straight from the beginning.

 

[Esotera]

One thing that really annoys me is how some veterans will explicitly state that they're a veteran, as if that deserves respect. I know it makes it easier to get jobs, but it just makes me instantly lose the extra respect I would otherwise have for them.

And yeah, you have to do something to earn respect. Whether it's a really hard task, or something cool for someone else. If someone completed an Iron Man competition, I'd have lots of respect for them as it's physically & mentally challenging. If someone went out of their way to give me a free PC, I'd respect them for doing something nice.

 

[wintercoat]

As a general point, I have no respect for people. However, there is a certain level of courtesy given to those I just met, a grace period where I decide if they go into the dislike pile or meh pile. It takes a rather large thing to actually make me respect a person.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well there are multiple levels or rather branches of it, by default I respect everyone as a sensible human being until they prove they aren't.
But when it comes to talent I will always go on demonstrated skill, I will believe you are capable of doing X but only really respect you for it when I see the results.

As for people who do not respect others, well it falls under sensible human being part that they just lost, if you don't respect others then why should they respect you.
Think of that next time you go online and blow raspberries at kids, because guess where they picked up that lovely trait...

 

[Vanitas likes Bubbles]

To me it must be EARNED!!!!! Otherwise I'd be giving respect to someone I don't know who might do some wierd shit. Also because I'm a hardarse and I will need that special someone who I respect and trust enough to make me see otherwise.

 

[The Night Angel]

The default should be respect. Why should we need to know someone to treat them respectfully?? However, if you mean more than politeness, if you mean actual respect, well, that is something has to be earned. There is a difference between respecting someone, and treating them respectfully.

 

[YingDerpington]

Personally I believe that everyone is entitled to basic courtesy and the like, until they've proven themselves unworthy. For the actual respecting them as a person they need to prove it to me (not doing something for me or infront of me e.g. I have respect for all WW2 veterans, but that can diminish if they state it expecting handouts or something similar).

 

[Mr Thin]

For me there is two kinds of respect. Common decency that I will show everybody unless they do something to loose it. And real respect that stems from showing that at a given subject you are really good.

And with that, the thread might as well be closed.

OP, I think perhaps you are deliberately misunderstanding a phrase so you can pick holes in it. There is a base amount of respect warranted due to simply being a sentient being; all other kinds of respect must be earned.

 

[Fractral]

I used to hate it when people told me that I should respect people because they were my elders. I just couldn't understand it. Then I grew up and now that I'm one of the oldest students at my school I find myself complaining to my friends about how none of the younger Children have any respect any more.
Unfortunately, you can't have it both ways, so I'm going to go with no, it doesn't have to be earned. You should always be courteous and respectful to your peers.

 

[Vegosiux]

Unfortunately, you can't have it both ways, so I'm going to go with no, it doesn't have to be earned. You should always be courteous and respectful to your peers.

Excuse me, for a moment there it looked to me as if you consider respect and common courtesy to be the same thing.

They aren't. Respect needs to be earned. Common courtesy should be default.

 

[Xangba]

I think being courteous and respecting someone are two different things. One is something everyone should be given, such as holding open doors and other common decency acts, and the other is holding value to what they think and say or their capabilities.

I guess some examples would better explain. A friend of my friend is, to me, an obnoxious moron. I'll still let him speak, or hold the door, or not rudely interrupt something, but I do not respect his opinions or his character.

With people I don't know I'll show proper courtesy, but give no respect to their capabilities or views until earned. Someone can claim to me they're great at shooting, but I won't respect their talent until I see them at the range. Someone can tell me they're important, but it does not mean I respect their opinions or character until given reason to.

Hope that was explained well.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

For me there is two kinds of respect. Common decency that I will show everybody unless they do something to loose it. And real respect that stems from showing that at a given subject you are really good.

Pretty much this. There is the respect that should be afforded to everyone unless they prove they don't deserve it; that is Common Decency. And then there's the respect that must be earned in some way.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I think the issue here is a semantic one. If I meet someone whose opinions I strongly disagree with, I probably won't punch them in the face. As such, I am "respecting" their right to have their own opinion and to go about their day unharrassed. However, I definitely do not respect them as a person. I will be civil to them, but they could go jump off a cliff for all I care.

So basically, a lack of respect does not by default mean a lack of civility. I am polite to random strangers but I do not hold them in any esteem.

 

[bernardblack]

I guess you could say I have "levels" of respect for people.

There are people I hold in great esteem and have a lot of respect for.

Then there's people I don't know that well, whom I will extend common courtesy towards. Because at the base level, everyone deserves that.

And then there's people I had respect for once upon a time but then they did something to lose that respect. It takes a lot for me to stop respecting someone, so there are very few people in this category.

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Well people seem to confuse respect with common decency/courtesy. Yes, respect is something that must be earned as you do not respect random people you don't know and who have not done anything note wordy.

 

[RustlessPotato]

I guess you could say I have "levels" of respect for people.

There are people I hold in great esteem and have a lot of respect for.

Then there's people I don't know that well, whom I will extend common courtesy towards. Because at the base level, everyone deserves that.

And then there's people I had respect for once upon a time but then they did something to lose that respect. It takes a lot for me to stop respecting someone, so there are very few people in this category.

Bernardblack sums it up. Also, do you have a wine Lolly ?

 

[Doneeee]

I think everyone starts off with a small level of respect from me. They can either earn more respect or loose it and start getting disrespected.