Poll: Room Mate Issues
- Thread starter DuctTapeJedi
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...or maybe he wanted to be more descriptive and that's the only thing he really cared to know about his teachers roommate.luckycharms8282 said:
Sorry, didn't mean to sound flame-y. I was honestly just wondering. The two points didn't seem related.luckycharms8282 said:
Room mate stories? You'll love this one.
OK, so some people tend to throw up after heavy drinking, right? Well, one of the guys I live with doesn't - he takes an absolutely epic shit instead. Many guys will walk off into the trees/a quiet alleyway for a casual piss, this guy goes off for the dump he requires post drinking. Kind of weird, definitely disgusting, but otherwise not a problem for me, aside from the fact I end up waiting in the cold so I have someone to walk home with.
Well, once, he came back from a night out considerably drunker than usual. After about 10 minutes of hearing him scrape at the door with his key, I decided to actually let him in. He proceeded to slur something incoherent about how great a night he'd had, and then sat down, and decided it would be funny to see what the TV would do by way of free porn (not much). 2 seconds later, he sprinted to the bathroom. Then waddled back, looking uncomfortable. The living room started to smell a little, but I assumed this was his normal gassy response to alcohol kicking in. He then waddled back to the bathroom. It was 3AM by this point, I was still a little drunk myself, and I decided to go to bed rather than listen to him ramble any more.
The next morning, I awoke to my other housemates laughing hysterically at what he'd done. The waddling back? Turned out he'd partially shat himself. The smell in the living room? Yeah, still poo. His triumphant return to the bathroom resulted in him crapping all over the toilet seat, his trousers, and his shoes. And somehow his jacket (he was wearing a suit. He destroyed it after seeing what had happened) Naturally, the faeces on his shoes were transferred to the living room carpet as he walked back through. So yeah, most of the bottom floor of the house was, quite literally, covered in crap.
Obviously we were all disgusted, but deep down, there's something inherently funny about poo.
And he will never, ever live the events of that night down.
tl;dr - I've never had a post before where I've run out of synonyms for poo. If that doesn't make you want to read the above, then you lack the childish sense of humour required to enjoy it.
OK, so some people tend to throw up after heavy drinking, right? Well, one of the guys I live with doesn't - he takes an absolutely epic shit instead. Many guys will walk off into the trees/a quiet alleyway for a casual piss, this guy goes off for the dump he requires post drinking. Kind of weird, definitely disgusting, but otherwise not a problem for me, aside from the fact I end up waiting in the cold so I have someone to walk home with.
Well, once, he came back from a night out considerably drunker than usual. After about 10 minutes of hearing him scrape at the door with his key, I decided to actually let him in. He proceeded to slur something incoherent about how great a night he'd had, and then sat down, and decided it would be funny to see what the TV would do by way of free porn (not much). 2 seconds later, he sprinted to the bathroom. Then waddled back, looking uncomfortable. The living room started to smell a little, but I assumed this was his normal gassy response to alcohol kicking in. He then waddled back to the bathroom. It was 3AM by this point, I was still a little drunk myself, and I decided to go to bed rather than listen to him ramble any more.
The next morning, I awoke to my other housemates laughing hysterically at what he'd done. The waddling back? Turned out he'd partially shat himself. The smell in the living room? Yeah, still poo. His triumphant return to the bathroom resulted in him crapping all over the toilet seat, his trousers, and his shoes. And somehow his jacket (he was wearing a suit. He destroyed it after seeing what had happened) Naturally, the faeces on his shoes were transferred to the living room carpet as he walked back through. So yeah, most of the bottom floor of the house was, quite literally, covered in crap.
Obviously we were all disgusted, but deep down, there's something inherently funny about poo.
And he will never, ever live the events of that night down.
tl;dr - I've never had a post before where I've run out of synonyms for poo. If that doesn't make you want to read the above, then you lack the childish sense of humour required to enjoy it.
I am so wishing this forum had a "Like" button right now. I laughed harder than I had any right to laugh at this post.J03bot said:
I've spent so much time telling people this story. It's great fun!Owyn_Merrilin said:
The housemate in question asked very nicely that I don't tell the story to any girls he knows. However, it turns out if you get him slightly drunk, he'll tell it himself. Good times!
Yeah, it was absolutely disgusting at the time, but since then it's become possibly the funniest thing that's happened in my entire time at uni so far.
Lol. You got it easy. I was up reading one night and my roomie came in drunk, stumbled into his bed, and slept for about twenty minutes. Then he woke up, urinated in the corner near my bed and proceeded to climb into my bed with me.
A half hour of trying to wake him up failed. And then he suddenly lurches up, goes to the bathroom, comes back, and falls asleep in his own bed.
Trauma.
A half hour of trying to wake him up failed. And then he suddenly lurches up, goes to the bathroom, comes back, and falls asleep in his own bed.
Trauma.
I live with my big brother and one other roommate. They play their guitars and drums until 3AM most nights (and they're really not very good at it). And SOMEONE is stealing the food I buy. And my room has the only working bathroom in the house, so people are coming in and out all the time.
I guess it's not that drastic compared to some, but still, it bugs the hell out of me.
But hey, it's better than living with my dad again >_O I shall suffer patiently before that.
I guess it's not that drastic compared to some, but still, it bugs the hell out of me.
But hey, it's better than living with my dad again >_O I shall suffer patiently before that.
If it's going to be a long term thing, have him get a mouth guard. Snoring can actually be bad for your health, so get him one of these:DuctTapeJedi said:
If you're desperate now, just have him turn over, that often clears up the breathing at least temporarily.PrimoThePro said:
I really don't see how stereotypes are appropriate here, or anywhere. Gay people are just people. Why is this one of the only preferences where it's acceptable to define people by? If some one said about me, (without any irony) "She's just one of those mint chocolate chip ice cream people, you know their type," it would sound insane.AceAngel said: