Poll: Self harm (serious topic)

[FalloutJack]

Not on purpose. Accidents will happen.

 

[cthulhumythos]

For those willing to talk about it, I'm curious to hear the escapist's experiences with self harm - have you ever deliberately hurt yourself? What were you going through at the time? Or if you know someone who has. If you have no experiences with it, what are your opinions on it?

I'm wanting to know other people's experiences with self harm and I want to get some other perspectives on it. Let's keep this serious, as this can be a sensitive issue. And don't feel obliged to contribute

i'm too cool for self-harm. also keeping things serious is boring, why would we want to do that?

to me it simply seems foolish. childish. immature. it's like simply being an attention whore.

How can it be for attention when most people hide it out of fear?

good point.

i still don't understand it however.

 

[cthulhumythos]

to me it simply seems foolish. childish. immature. it's like simply being an attention whore.

Because it's normal for people who want attention to cut themselves so they bleed? Do you have any comprehension of what it takes to actually do that? The desire to avoid injury and pain is pretty strong in most people, self-injurers included. Could YOU take a razor to your skin and make yourself bleed, deliberately, just because? I doubt it. So yeah, some people might do this (at least partially) for attention, but that does not mean it should be dismissed. Anyone who does this for attention needs help, just as much as someone who does it to cope with other issues.

i have zero percent comprehension of why people inflict self-harm. i'm squeamish as hell though, and the very mention of slitting wrists makes me shudder. would i ever do it my self? answer: HELL THE FUCK NO. that would be goddamn painful. i'm dismissive of subjects such as this because the very aspect of pain agitates the shit out of me. seriously. i get agitated by thinking about stubbing my toe. i'm dismissive because i don't understand/like to think about why people do this.


so why check out this thread you might ask?.... i dunno. kinda the same reason i'd respond to a troll despite knowing very well that the individual is a troll. (i'm not calling you a troll, i'm just speaking in general)

 

[F4LL3N]

I just wanted to bring up another point. Although a lot of people don't actually do it for attention, is it really so bad if they do do it for attention? If you've ever had depression, you'd know it comes with a sense of isolation, and generally you aren't thinking straight.

So someone's crying out for help! Is that really such a terrible thing?

 

[BrassButtons]

i have zero percent comprehension of why people inflict self-harm. i'm squeamish as hell though, and the very mention of slitting wrists makes me shudder. would i ever do it my self? answer: HELL THE FUCK NO. that would be goddamn painful. i'm dismissive of subjects such as this because the very aspect of pain agitates the shit out of me. seriously. i get agitated by thinking about stubbing my toe. i'm dismissive because i don't understand/like to think about why people do this.

I can certainly appreciate being agitated by this concept. Hell, it can make ME squeamish and I self-harm. But there's a difference between dismissing it as in not wanting to dwell on the topic, and dismissing it as something worthy of mockery (which is how it comes across when you make comments about attention whores). There are already too many people who think this is a non-issue and that the only appropriate response is mockery (sadly, this includes ER staff in some cases).

 

[No-one Special]

I used to self harm a lot. My thing was burning. I would usually light a match, let it catch on the stick, then hold on against myself till the fire went out. Did that with an entire pack once.

Also used to scratch myself as well. Let your nail grow slightly long, and then just keep scratching the same spot for about 2 minutes. Eventually you draw blood and it leave one hell of a wound.

I'm actually training to be a youth worker right now, so I've studied into this a bit. Most people do it, whether they relies it or not, because the part of the brain that controls pain and the part that controls emotions are different. So if you're either under a lot of emotional stress or you get to a point of total numbness, (most people can never truely understand that unless they've experienced is or seen it. The feeling of numbness is more similar to an outer body experience. You're just aware of things, but you don't interact. You don't feel or do or want anything. You're just a husk of a person.) self harming causes the brain to work with another part and hence distracts you from those feelings.

It can also be used as a form of self-punishment either for making what they perceive to be a big mistake. It acts as a reminder to never do it again, because you remember that pain and that scar with that mistake.

 

[EternalFacepalm]

I punch walls when I'm angry as an outlet of anger and frustration, but that's not because of the pain, so... I don't know. Maybe?

 

[ScarlettRage]

I did, but not for attention, but more for release. It sounds strange but I always felt better after cutting. my boyfriend asked me to stop because it worried him. so I did. Still get the urge to do it sometimes, but not like I used too.. also I smoke sometimes... which sort of counts.

 

[BrassButtons]

Most people do it, whether they relies it or not, because the part of the brain that controls pain and the part that controls emotions are different. So if you're either under a lot of emotional stress or you get to a point of total numbness, (most people can never truely understand that unless they've experienced is or seen it. The feeling of numbness is more similar to an outer body experience. You're just aware of things, but you don't interact. You don't feel or do or want anything. You're just a husk of a person.) self harming causes the brain to work with another part and hence distracts you from those feelings.

I've never heard that stuff about the brain before, but it makes sense. I know that I use SI to "snap out of it" when I'm feeling really emotional. In a lot of ways it feels like flipping a switch--it never occurred to me that this could by why. I will definitely need to look into this more.

 

[Zyst]

I have, but not as seriously as what you probably mean. I mean stuff like biting hard on my hand or arm to dope myself when I get a serious injury, but never in a way that is meant to be suicidal or anything of the sort.

 

[SkullKing84]

I was a child i was depressed, but never inflicted self-harm. I had a brother who'd beat the snot outta me daily (family call it rough housing).

When i was a teenager my home life became miserable and i suffered migraines daily. I tried cutting once... I went "ow" and stopped. The 2nd time I took a double edged razor blade and chewed it till it was a crumpled little ball... blood gushed and it didn't hurt (until i put a hand full of salt in my mouth to stop the bleeding). for a few days i didn't have a migraine and life didn't seem bad cause i felt alive. This went on till i found a better and safer outlet (Dungeons and Dragons)

As a family man now, do i still hurt myself? Yes, but only if it helps people oddly enough...like skip meals to make sure they eat, and finally when i'm overly stressed, i now without thinking pick at my skin till it bleeds(it never heals right).

 

[B-Rye]

Used to cut. Graduation requirement stress, bad break-up, and a project that was failing all in a span of a few weeks. Had contemplated it for awhile. I would cut only in non-vital areas away from major veins. It felt good (the release of adrenaline, endorphins, etc.). Eventually looked at myself and saw that I was getting nowhere with it. I quit cutting my skin with a knife and started tearing my fingertips up on a bass guitar and have been in a healthy love affair with music ever since.

I still like pain though. So I get tattoos when I can afford them or just play my bass.

 

[redisforever]

on two occasions ive used super hot metal to cauterize wounds...does that count?

Not really, that's anti-harm...kinda, I think.

Captcha: Music: unitical
Odd...

OT:
No, never have. Unless you count nail-biting, then yes, quite a but...

 

[manic_depressive13]

Depends on your defenition of self harm. I've never cut myself. I drink, smoke, and I gave up meat with the full knowledge that I don't have the diet to supplement the nutritional loss. I've seriously considered suicide as a way out, but I don't personally see the appeal of self harm. The reason I want to die is to escape pain. I don't see how inflicting more, avoidable pain on myself, on top of the emotional and physical pain I have been forced to feel by my loving family, will help.

 

[Jedoro]

Once. I was a crybaby ***** of a teenager who couldn't get back the girlfriend he dumped for a stupid reason. I did cut down, not across, but didn't go deep enough to cut anything that'd kill me. Sharp knife, though, so it actually healed without really leaving a scar.

I then grew a pair and decided to never do that again, and now I'm damn good at dealing with any kind of pain.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

I don't remember when exactly I got into it, but it was a big thing for me in highschool. I'd be sweating my fat ass off every day because I walked to school in Florida heat wearing pants and a heavy jacket to hide all the places I'd marked myself up. My hoodies, shirts, jackets and sheets were all stained with blood, and when I wore a long-sleeve shirt after freshly slicing myself up, it'd stick to my arm. Mostly used a rectangular razor blade (as opposed to the angled type you'd see in a utility knife/boxcutter)... and I'm really not sure what to make of it. It's pretty common to hear people say that cutters just want to feel like they have control over their bodies and lives, and I'd say that's pretty close to how it got me off... aside from the endorphins triggered by pain and what-have-you, because the effects are both physiological and psychological.

I mean, all I can really say is that I was seriously messed up, and then it gradually went away for no discernible reason. It sure as hell wasn't a cry for attention since all I really wanted back then was to be loved, and nobody's going to give the time of day to someone that hates themselves enough to make their arms and legs look like patchwork. If I had to identify a culprit, I'd probably blame the cocktail of pharmaceuticals I was being grossly over-prescribed back in the day; I went from being a quiet, shy, timid kid to a cracked-out, paranoid, manic-depressive train wreck that couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut to save his life, and I was too high on massive amounts of Adderall and Prozac to think they were doing anything but helping. That stuff fucked me up, and it became my only source of good feelings in a life I was thoroughly sick of living. It was like living as a junkie, except the drugs didn't give me anything to live for. I haven't touched prescription anything in over four years (the only exception being the stuff prescribed by physicians, fuck psychiatrists), and now I've been kind of having to slingshot my way into adulthood by making up for lost time and responsibility (college is hard as FUCK if you spent your highschool years as a fuck-up instead of a student).

I've put it behind me entirely, though. The only time I'll cut myself on purpose is if I want to test the sharpness of a newly-sharpened knife (and even then, not enough to split the skin), and whenever I need an outlet, I'll just go exercise (which I intend to do right after I post this) or get together with friends and party or chill or whatever. At least the whole nightmare wasn't for nothing: it gave me a strong sense of empathy, made me appreciate how good life can be, and more-or-less removed my fear of death. Sure as fuck wouldn't do it again, though.

 

[thecoreyhlltt]

i only do it when i'm feeling really stressed and i can't find a way to let it out.
it started as eraser burns, razor cuts, stapling myself, and peircing my ears and eyebrows. now i use a lighter, i heat it up and make smiley faces on my arms

 

[slarlath]

While I never outright harmed myself I did go looking for fights knowing that I would get hurt. I was more interested in harming someone else but also enjoyed the pain. I suppose that kinda counts as self harm but not really so I shall vote "other".

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I am a former self-injurer... I cut pretty seriously (never across my wrists, though), and managed to get over what was a developing case of trichotillomania (where you yank your hair out piece by piece) when I was 16.

I still miss cutting. It's been just over 18 months that I've been 'clean', but when I'm stressed or upset I crave it. My former roommate helped me stop, and my boyfriend's kept me from doing anything for the past ten months. The scars on my forearm are fading, and soon they won't be visible anymore.

Part of the appeal of self-injury is the flood of endorphins, which make it feel good in a weird way. I've managed to subvert that by turning my normal craving to hurt myself into a masochistic thing and letting my boyfriend whale on me in the good playtime way.

I also force myself to vomit sometimes when I'm upset. As I have stomach problems, it's easy to pretend I'm just not feeling very good and 'my tummy hurts'.

I should probably not be posting while semi-intoxicated, but hey, it's mostly anonymous.

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

I don't see the point. If someone were to try to hurt me I would do the same to him so why would I willingly hurt myself?