Poll: Self harm (serious topic)

[t3h br0th3r]

I never have but I've been close enough to the edge to know why someone would.

I'm not going to get inot details but for me the urge came after i did soemthing that made me feel very, very guilty.

I got away with it but i felt so bad that I had the urge but i managed to resit.

In my case, I wanted to cause myself pain beacuse i felt I should be punished at the time the only thing that stoped me was the want to keep from assocating what i did with pain but i now realize that inflcting pain on the body is nothing but tricking the mind.

You cause the body pain to calm the mind for a a short span of time but in the end you wind up casing the mind FAR more damage than the body.

I never cut myself but 'there but by the grace of God go I'.

 

[Heartcafe]

I did, for quite a while. I wasn't really going through all that much at the time, it was more just a culmination of a lot of things that I found an outlet for through self harm.

It's not a good thing, and it's habit forming. Anyone who thinks they might, take it from someone who has: Don't. It's not a good path to go down.

^This.

I did it because of pressure and stress of having to live up of being a perfect child with lots of friends and great grades. I guess it started because I didn't want to be perfect anymore. It's ironic that even though I had everything going right for me that I still felt miserable. It wasn't until I realized that it was ok to make mistakes that I stopped.

Though I have to admit, a lot of people who I know do or did self harm; do it for the attention though a lot of people will deny it.

But yeah, anyone who thinks about doing it: Don't. It's horrible and lonely. Stop and eat bacon. It'll make you feel better.

 

[pixiejedi]

Most people do it, whether they relies it or not, because the part of the brain that controls pain and the part that controls emotions are different. So if you're either under a lot of emotional stress or you get to a point of total numbness, (most people can never truely understand that unless they've experienced is or seen it. The feeling of numbness is more similar to an outer body experience. You're just aware of things, but you don't interact. You don't feel or do or want anything. You're just a husk of a person.) self harming causes the brain to work with another part and hence distracts you from those feelings.

I've never heard that stuff about the brain before, but it makes sense. I know that I use SI to "snap out of it" when I'm feeling really emotional. In a lot of ways it feels like flipping a switch--it never occurred to me that this could by why. I will definitely need to look into this more.

Thats news to me too, trying to explain it to my boyfriend was very difficult but thats probably why.

I used to cut a good bit, it went away for years but recently its come back. It has always been a form of me punishing myself. I have a bit of a guilt complex from a messed up childhood and I'm sure that didn't help. At first it really was a cry for help, specifically to my family that has this philosophy that if you can function day to day then nothing is wrong. I don't really care if people think less of me for knowing that. I was legitimately suffering and if someone wants to get on a high horse saying I'm pathetic for cutting my forearm to make them feel better about themselves that is fine. Ill pick empathy any day.

 

[Posh]

I have never been driven into self harm. But my girlfriend is trying to recover from years of living with anorexia, bulimia, and self mutilation. Her thighs are inlaid with old scars, and still every few months there is a new one. For her, self harm became her means of coping with emotional hardships, and even more than that, her way of exhibiting control despite them. She places all of these strict and irrational rules and restraints on herself so that she feels like the one in control. The only way I can classify her behavior is as an addiction. But I am so proud of her for every step she has taken to become a healthier person. She is nothing short of amazing for bringing herself this far.

But I have to ask... Does anyone actually make a "full recovery", become miraculously better with time, and put the urges behind them? Or is that an unreasonable expectation?

 

[MyEscapistUserName]

I've only tried it once, and it didn't make me feel relief or anything at all. It just fucking hurt. My girlfriend, on the other hand cut her stomach up pretty badly on a regular basis for about three-quarters of a year. She did it because she felt responsible for the death of a close friend/soon to be boyfriend and the pain she felt when she laid on it at night "helped put things into perspective" as she put it. She's pretty scarred up from it and won't fully take her shirt off around me unless it's too dark enough for me to see them. According to her, talking to me (we were talking through all hours of every day at one point) was the main reason she quit feeling the urge to do it. Definatly my proudest moment in life.

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

I just wanted to bring up another point. Although a lot of people don't actually do it for attention, is it really so bad if they do do it for attention? If you've ever had depression, you'd know it comes with a sense of isolation, and generally you aren't thinking straight.

So someone's crying out for help! Is that really such a terrible thing?

I don't think it's terrible at all. I know a lot of people who do however, and it makes me sad how self harm is considered some sort of "evil sin" that no one ever talks about. People think its some "horrible thing" that only emos and attention whores and sad little lonely fuckers do. It's incredibly misunderstood.

My mum used to. She says it's horrible and you should never do it. My dad once assaulted my mum for cutting herself (it looked like it from my angle, but she was nearly screaming and he was yelling so i'm probably not too far wrong). So I've always got the sense that it's a horrible thing to do. My girlfriend is in tears whenever she thinks about it and whenever she suspects i've been doing it she acts like she's worried i'm about to kill myself or something like that.

It's not like that. It's people who have no escape and feel trapped, and have no one to talk to, or no one to trust.

 

[redisforever]

No, but boy have I considered it. Fortunately, I'm too afraid of pain.

Pretty much this. I don't like pain at all. When it's there, I can deal with it just fine, but I can't deal with getting the pain.

 

[Korak the Mad]

You really need to specify what kind of self harm you are talking about. Theres the obvious wrist cutting and such, and then theres the self harm people practice deliberately but subconsciously, etc.

I harm myself, but not in the ways of cutting myself or burning myself. I don't do acts of self harm that will usually end up with me having scars for every time do it. I actually have a condition called Dermatillomania, or Compulsive Skin Picking. I tend to pick at my skin when I am bored or nervous. I've tried to stop doing it multiple times, but sometimes I do it and I'm unaware that I doing it.

Because I do this my arms and legs are covered in scabs, but the thing is I don't pick that the scabs, I let them heal.

 

[Shraggler]

I used to get curious to see how much certain injuries hurt and would perform them on myself, but I never "self-harmed" or cut myself regularly, nor did I do anything like that out of emotional stress or depression.

I've personally never understood it and probably never will.

 

[Quaxar]

i'm dismissive of subjects such as this because the very aspect of pain agitates the shit out of me. seriously. i get agitated by thinking about stubbing my toe.

Yeah. Same reason I would never do heroin (well, one of them). Putting a needle... in my OWN arm? Fuck you kindly, good sir.

I had a friend do it though. She said she quit, I'm not entirely sure she did completely. But until my shipment of miniature spy cams is here I have no way of knowing. Err... I mean... look, over there!

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

For those willing to talk about it, I'm curious to hear the escapist's experiences with self harm - have you ever deliberately hurt yourself? What were you going through at the time? Or if you know someone who has. If you have no experiences with it, what are your opinions on it?

I'm wanting to know other people's experiences with self harm and I want to get some other perspectives on it. Let's keep this serious, as this can be a sensitive issue. And don't feel obliged to contribute

i'm too cool for self-harm. also keeping things serious is boring, why would we want to do that?

to me it simply seems foolish. childish. immature. it's like simply being an attention whore.

How can it be for attention when most people hide it out of fear?

good point.

i still don't understand it however.

_ _ _ _ _

i have zero percent comprehension of why people inflict self-harm. i'm squeamish as hell though, and the very mention of slitting wrists makes me shudder. would i ever do it my self? answer: HELL THE FUCK NO. that would be goddamn painful. i'm dismissive of subjects such as this because the very aspect of pain agitates the shit out of me. seriously. i get agitated by thinking about stubbing my toe. i'm dismissive because i don't understand/like to think about why people do this.

]You've just never felt like you need to. You've never been depressed to the point you need to cut. Which is fine - in fact that's great. But don't criticise what you don't understand, and it is something which is very difficult to understand if you haven't been in that position yourself. Just don't make such rash judgement calls, it only makes people worse

 

[oreopizza47]

Technically, I have never self harmed. I've never cut or stuff like that. I have hit walls, which is what the "technically" qualifier was for.

Now, knowing people who have self harmed? Yeah. Actually, my best female friend used to, and my girlfriend only recently stopped, shortly after we started going out. For the friend it was cutting, but for my girlfriend it was scratching so no one would know. So my opinion is this; I don't like it, but I understand the desperation that leads to it.

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

You really need to specify what kind of self harm you are talking about. Theres the obvious wrist cutting and such, and then theres the self harm people practice deliberately but subconsciously, etc.

I harm myself, but not in the ways of cutting myself or burning myself. I don't do acts of self harm that will usually end up with me having scars for every time do it. I actually have a condition called Dermatillomania, or Compulsive Skin Picking. I tend to pick at my skin when I am bored or nervous. I've tried to stop doing it multiple times, but sometimes I do it and I'm unaware that I doing it.

Because I do this my arms and legs are covered in scabs, but the thing is I don't pick that the scabs, I let them heal.

Christ, I've had that since I was like 3 or something, and it's a real *****.

 

[Jenneh]

Let me just say, how happy i am that there are so many more "never in my life"'s than "i still do".

I personally have for 3 years, but am working really hard to stop because it started to hurt my girlfriend too much. My family was really mad at me that i did it, which really didnt help, but i dont want this anymore. I used to do it on my hips, arms and thighs.

My opinion on it is that its something that you should never do just out of curiosity, or at all if you can manage it, because there is no "cure" to self harming. You never look at sharp objects the same way again. Its ridiculously addictive. I wish i had never done it in the first place.

 

[SilentCom]

If you imply any type and degree of harm, I would have to say yes. This is because a few times a while back when I was angry, I punched myself... I know stupid. But that way I wasn't destroying anything and the pain caused me to stop being so angry...

If you mean any serious injury such as cutting myself or something, then no.

 

[Dango]

There was a time when I was considering it as well as suicide, but I don't really like to think or talk about it...

 

[emeraldrafael]

its called pain week.

once a year, my friends and i get togehter and come up with the most insnae things we can think of and see who pusses out. by the end of the week, if one winner inst decided, then all the remaining gather into one big battle royale type deal with blunted weaponry. All of this while the entire week you go without sleep.

Why? for shits and giggles, why else?

Other then that, like cutting yourself, no, i havent. the closest i game was suicide but I pulled out of it. had a friend who used to cut himself. we snapped him out of that pretty quick though. its one thing to cross the street, but quite another to go down the road and you gain a quick appreciation for life when youre not in a position to choose how you're making your journey in life.

....


I'm also one of those kinda people that likes to pick scabs, if that counts.

 

[Wushu Panda]

I went through a major traumatic experience when I was 10, years of therapy and none of it helped. I've been going in and out of depression for 13 years since and have self-harmed. I've kept in ways so no one notices, beating myself and smoking.

The best time of my life was studying Kung Fu. I excelled at it, helped me lose weight, healthy area to work out rage and I could walk around with a million bruises on my arms with a legitimate reason.

 

[AroLombardi]

Cut myself a few minutes after a really, really bad break up with a long term relationship, and once more after I heard she was asked to prom and accepted. And not another time since then.

 

[dertyqwerty]

I used to. For almost 6 years I mutilated myself.
Mine started after a very traumatic family death. I had never experienced something so devastating, I didn't know how else to react. It's just a coping mechanism and sometimes an addiction, like drugs or drinking. It's a very sad and dangerous thing, but it is not always just an attention stunt. Most times it is linked with depression and anxiety. That's when I would self-harm, in anxiety attacks. I would lose control of my body and mind it seemed, and that was a way to bring me back.

My problem went undetected for the 6 years, until finally someone very close to me found out and I had the courage to get help. Counseling, medication and a horrid week in a psych ward finally got me on the right track.

Haven't done it in over a year now, very proud of myself for deciding to save my life.

(Silly but, if anyone on here reads this, or any of these posts and decides they need help, I'm sure anyone of us Escapists would be here for you. Myself included.)