Poll: Sexy convention costumes - okay to stare?

[Sansha]

So with another Comic-Con come and gone, the discussion again arises regarding sexism in geek culture. Reports of harassment and lewdness come about, some people on the social justice warpath, some people shrugging and wondering what the big deal is, and all the usual suspects in between.

What I want to know is whether staring, or blatantly looking at the exposed skin is acceptable. The costume has been designed specifically to have certain areas of the body exposed, so is looking at those areas without being too obvious or lecherous is acceptable?

The way I see it, looking from a distance is fine, but maintaining eye contact through conversation is necessary, and lewd comments and unwanted contact is always unacceptable.

The last con I went to, there was a group of guys sitting around a table, just watching the sexy costumes go by. No cat-calling, no creepers, just five dudes enjoying the eye candy. And I thought that was totally okay.

So where do you stand on where to look, Escapist?

 

[DefunctTheory]

There's a fine line between looking at someone wearing a sexy costume, taking a moment to appreciate it, and moving on, and staring at someone's tits.

Much like the difference between pornography and erotica, sometimes it can be hard to define that line. But it is definitely obvious when you see it.

 

[JasonBurnout16]

Have a quick look then go about your business. No need to be creepy. If anything just enjoy the unique costumes that people choose to wear to these things. Don't go all starey/watching them creepy though.

Although if you want to stare at me when I'm at a Con go ahead, I like all the attention I can get in costume.

 

[shootthebandit]

Listen and learn my friends. This is some very important advice. Staring is the sign of a rank amateur

 

[Eddie the head]

Why is this even a question? We all know the worst thing you can do to a woman that is, dressed up in an attractive manner, posing in an attractive way, and is herself attractive, is to call her attractive. And or look at her. What is this the 1950? And if you don't do it for me. Think about how she feels.


I know I am. ( sarcasm in case you couldn't tell)

 

[Cousin_IT]

You were watching a bunch of guys watching a bunch of girls? What's the deal, bro? Walking on the beaches, looking at the peaches!

Spoiler

 

[Queen Michael]

I'd say that staring at someone for a while is always rude, because otherwise we'll be getting in a situation where we can stare and stare and stare at the eyes of a woman in a niqab, defending it by saying "Well, if she didn't want me to stare at her gorgeous eyes then why'd she go out in public without wearting sunglasses?"

With that said, though, there's nothing wrong with a quick look. People do have the right to look at other human beings.

And if you wanna be classy, then just say "That's a very nice cosplay. Is it okay if I take a picture?" or something like that. If she says yes, which cosplayers pretty much always do since they appreciate appreciation, you take a pic and then, when you're home, you can ogle the pic all you want. Because let's face it, what you do with a photo that you took yourself, of a person who gave you permission, is your own business (as long as it doesn't hurt anybody or break any laws).

 

[Darks63]

Its ok to check them out which takes a whole 3 secs and maybe look for a second opinion, but to just stare at them for a long period? no. I don't blame women for getting creeped by long staring since its likely the dude is mind fing them if he is looking that long.

 

[BathorysGraveland2]

Depends what you mean by staring, really. Getting right up in their face and ogling them up and down is not in any way appropriate, but keeping your distance and checking 'em out discreetly, eh, I don't see anything wrong with that really. To me, it's on the same level of checking out those pictures lots of girls post onto Facebook (you know what I'm talking about), as long as you keep it to yourself, there really is no issue.

 

[StriderShinryu]

I'd say staring is going overboard, but I don't see anything wrong with looking and appreciating. Just don't be a creep about and if you're going to comment don't be a sleazebag.

 

[Sansha]

Depends what you mean by staring, really. Getting right up in their face and ogling them up and down is not in any way appropriate, but keeping your distance and checking 'em out discreetly, eh, I don't see anything wrong with that really.

Yeah, that's where I am too. The idea, to me, is not making the person you're looking at uncomfortable.

 

[Zhukov]

Really?

It makes me a bit sad that this is even a discussion.

One can indulge in some discreet visual appreciation without being creepy about it. It's really not difficult.

I suspect this is merely the unfortunate but inevitable result of having a larger than normal concentration of socially inept people combined with a larger than normal concentration of people in sexy costumes.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Is staring okay?
No, not particuarly.

Look, it should be easy to tell the difference between having a look at someone and ogling them to the point where they notice and start to feel uncomfortable.

If you do the latter and try to justify it to yourself by making the "she was wearing a sexy costume, it's what she wanted me to do" argument, then I feel a little sorry for you.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

My wife still tells me off for staring / talking to her boobs; and this is ten years on (o.k so I'm a slow learner). Moral of the story, women don't like you doing it; and women you are not in a relationship with, less so.

I think an admiring glance and nod is o.k. Anything more than 3 seconds and you are in perv-town.

 

[shootthebandit]

I'd say that staring at someone for a while is always rude, because otherwise we'll be getting in a situation where we can stare and stare and stare at the eyes of a woman in a niqab, defending it by saying "Well, if she didn't want me to stare at her gorgeous eyes then why'd she go out in public without wearting sunglasses?"

This is a bit different to the "she shouldve worn glasses" argument. Its human nature that we assess how attractive people are. When confronted with a niqab its very difficult to assess this so the "quick look" will obviously take a little longer than someone in western clothing. When everyone and yes I do mean literally everyone wears a niqab you find yourself doing this then you realise it looks like you are staring (which you probably are). Some women in niqabs you just know straight away are really hot. I dont know why but you can just tell

 

[Vault101]

Why is this even a question? We all know the worst thing you can do to a woman that is, dressed up in an attractive manner, posing in an attractive way, and is herself attractive, is to call her attractive. And or look at her. What is this the 1950?

oh sure it sounds perfectly innocent when you say it like that

"I'm entitled to staring and oggling you because youre dressed like that" doesn't sound so nice...

 

[Risingblade]

It's like staring at the sun. Quick peaks won't hurt you but when you flat out stare, well then we have a problem.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

It's like staring at the sun. Quick peaks won't hurt you but when you flat out stare, well then we have a problem.

Unless you wear sunglasses!

 

[Super Cyborg]

I think it depends on the situation, but for the most part, I will agree that you can look a little and appreciate it, but then move on. You are at a convention, there are lots of activities going on, and people cosplaying are just part of it. You'll see lots of different things so staring at one person seems pointless. I've never been to a convention, so I'm just speaking about what I would do when I go to one. If you are going to stare, then don't follow the person, and don't be doing it right in front of them. The exception would be if it seems like someone is trying to show off to get attention, but even then, you probably shouldn't do it, because that's not what conventions are for. I think it's better to not stare in the end, because the person is wearing it more likely because they like the character, and less that they want to have people staring at them.

 

[geK0]

It's not okay! Those thoughts are impure and you ought to give yourself a hundred lashes to the back and recite 22 Hail Marys for even mentioning the topic! SHAME ON YOU!