Poll: Should I accept my mother in this scenario?

[archvile93]

Taking her in is garenteed to to tear your life apart. Mother her not, she's a total ***** and that's not going to change. For the love of everything you hold dear don't let her bring down your entire family with her. I kind of know what your going through since my mother is also a complete ***** that will rip out your eyes at the slightest provacation.

 

[silversnake4133]

Kick her out. She's obviously a free loader that doesn't want to earn an honest living. If you let her in, she'll just leech the funds off of your father until you're all evicted. I'm sorry that it has to be your mother you're doing this to, but she isn't going to learn if you don't teach her the hard way. If she won't learn how to be a loving and responsible parent, then she should know what it feels like to have nothing at all and be forced to survive on the streets using wits alone.

However, as not to seem like a completely evil person, you could check up on her every once in a while to make sure she's okay. Other than that, you can make a deal with her. Tell her that if she wants to be granted permission to live with you guys, then she should go out, find a job and present to you her first paycheck before you even let her stand in your doorway.

Good luck man. I'm rooting for ya. :]

 

[Delicious]

She isn't "obviously" anything, YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING MET HER.

 

[careful]

no, the fidelity of family bondage should reflect past experience, not biological relations. your mom doesn't even treat you as a family member let alone a loved one, why should you unconditionally share your hard earned scarce resources to support her selfish undeserving lifestyle.

 

[sircashews]

She moved out to L.A. and thought she could find a place to live there why can't she find one in Baltimore?

 

[Phoenixlight]

Can't she(your mum) just go back to wherever she was living before in New York?

 

[Mgsfan]

NO! Tell her straight up to get her life in gear and you wont put up with her anymore when she gets a job then she can ask you for help

 

[superbatranger]

First, make her get a job. Doesn't matter what kind of job. It can be bagging groceries. If she can't find a job within a month of moving in, then you'll probably have to kick her out. Although, it would be preferable she find that job before she moves in. That is, if she does move in. In the end, it's your call.

 

[BustaNinja]

The internet is filled with anger and hate, and contempt for parents. I am gonna add to this. If she shows up, don't be home. If she's done it before, she'll do it again, as long as she can. Once she realizes that the streets aren't the best place to live, she might actually change, but that is probably gonna have to come from her own experiences. I've seen it happen to plenty of people. People in general will only learn from their own mistakes. It takes a consequence to change someone, not a slap on the wrist and a talking to.

From what you said, it seems your mom is already not particularly fond of you as it is, so whats one more thing? There comes a point where it really is your responsibility to make sure people don't mess with you.

 

[silversnake4133]

Kick her out of the fucking door.

Excuse me, who the fuck are you to make that judgment?

Jesus Christ people, it's OK to drop the internet tough guy act every once in a while. Have a fucking heart.

Well, if you feel so sympathetic toward her, why doesn't she just live with you then? After all, everyone else seems to only be stupid dipshits in your eyes oh mighty master of the emotional internets.

Hell, I bet you'd be doing the OP a favor and in turn solving this thread's conversation :]

/sarcasm

Seriously though dude, these people are just answering his question to the best of their abilities using the information they were given. Just as you have done to a few others, only you decided to call them dipshits, which isn't a very mature way to have a conversation.

 

[silversnake4133]

She isn't "obviously" anything, YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING MET HER.

And you have? Oh good! Jolly good ol' chap! Now do tell every one of us dipshits what she's like hmm?

*waits for an answer*

Oh what's that? You say you haven't met her either? Oh dear... my this is quite embarrassing. :]

So I'm guessing that you don't know what she's like either right? Well, if that's the case then how do you know that she "is not" like that? Do take your time when answering.

*waits patiently for a response* :]

 

[Samurai Goomba]

She isn't "obviously" anything, YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING MET HER.

And you have? Oh good! Jolly good ol' chap! Now do tell every one of us dipshits what she's like hmm?

*waits for an answer*

Oh what's that? You say you haven't met her either? Oh dear... my this is quite embarrassing. :]

So I'm guessing that you don't know what she's like either right? Well, if that's the case then how do you know that she "is not" like that? Do take your time when answering.

*waits patiently for a response* :]

Excuse my possible ignorance, but I believe Delicious was merely trying to convey that since none of us except the OP has any firsthand knowledge of anything relating to this situation, none of us except the OP has a "right" (whatever you want to call it) to form an opinion of this person. Especially not a very harsh, unforgiving opinion. I mean, if we treat others the way we want to be treated, would you or I or anyone here want to be judged out of hand and despised based on hearsay evidence?

Of course, this being the Internet, judgement calls based on hearsay evidence are pretty much the rule, rather than the exception. I'm not defending or attacking his position, I just think I see where Delicious is coming from.

 

[Delicious]

She isn't "obviously" anything, YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING MET HER.

And you have? Oh good! Jolly good ol' chap! Now do tell every one of us dipshits what she's like hmm?

*waits for an answer*

Oh what's that? You say you haven't met her either? Oh dear... my this is quite embarrassing. :]

So I'm guessing that you don't know what she's like either right? Well, if that's the case then how do you know that she "is not" like that? Do take your time when answering.

*waits patiently for a response* :]

Yeah, that's right you pretentious fuck. I haven't met her, that's why I have elected to withhold judgment on someone who I know nothing about.

Way to fall right in line there, dip. Remember; the burden lies on he who asserts, not he who denies. And boy, am I denying all right. I'm denying that she is as bad as you people think.

What it is you people say around here? Something about "You have to prove to me God exists, I don't have to prove that he doesn't?"

Different argument, same deal. Put up or shut up, and you'll need more than three paragraphs of an angry son to do that.

 

[silversnake4133]

She isn't "obviously" anything, YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING MET HER.

And you have? Oh good! Jolly good ol' chap! Now do tell every one of us dipshits what she's like hmm?

*waits for an answer*

Oh what's that? You say you haven't met her either? Oh dear... my this is quite embarrassing. :]

So I'm guessing that you don't know what she's like either right? Well, if that's the case then how do you know that she "is not" like that? Do take your time when answering.

*waits patiently for a response* :]

Yeah, that's right you pretentious fuck. I haven't met her, that's why I have elected to withhold judgment on someone who I know nothing about.

Way to fall right in line there, dip. Remember; the burden lies on he who asserts, not he who denies. And boy, am I denying all right. I'm denying that she is as bad as you people think.

What it is you people say around here? Something about "You have to prove to me God exists, I don't have to prove that he doesn't?"

Different argument, same deal. Put up or shut up, and you'll need more than three paragraphs of an angry son to do that.

Ooh, and again with the insults. Wow, dude, I was just trying to have a little fun with ya. No need to get all defensive. As for the OP, I don't really see this person as someone who just wanted to complain about his mother. (This isn't youtube after all...) I like to see anyone whom asks for help, suggestions, or advice on this forum should at least have something offered in return. And just like you, everyone whom posts here has a right to their opinion. The only thing I don't really see as being necessary is when someone calls them stupid or a dipshit because of their thoughts. Actually I'm beginning to wonder if you're not perturbed about something in your life since you so fervently decided to call me in a quite callous manner a pretentious fuck.

So instead of having long-winded flame wars with other escapists, perhaps we should all just agree on this:

"What I have stated here is my honest opinion given as a response to the question and information the OP or source has provided. I will agree to recognize that everyone has their own opinions, and are entitled to them. Thus, I will offer any friendly debates to those whom which to engage in one."

In conclusion, yeah, we all pass judgement. You have passed the same kind of judgement upon the posters in this thread as the OP has placed his judgement upon his mother. However, he humbly asked for advice on a decision he'll have to make. If you wanted advice on a possible decision you'd have to make, which would you rather get as a response: A few posters offering what they would do if placed in your position, or a flame war caused by a black sheep?

And if you choose to respond please do so methodically, leave the cussing to the truckers and sailors. Thank you. :]

 

[skeliton112]

make her pay rent. Make it higher than recommended so that she will choose another option.

 

[silversnake4133]

She isn't "obviously" anything, YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING MET HER.

And you have? Oh good! Jolly good ol' chap! Now do tell every one of us dipshits what she's like hmm?

*waits for an answer*

Oh what's that? You say you haven't met her either? Oh dear... my this is quite embarrassing. :]

So I'm guessing that you don't know what she's like either right? Well, if that's the case then how do you know that she "is not" like that? Do take your time when answering.

*waits patiently for a response* :]

Excuse my possible ignorance, but I believe Delicious was merely trying to convey that since none of us except the OP has any firsthand knowledge of anything relating to this situation, none of us except the OP has a "right" (whatever you want to call it) to form an opinion of this person. Especially not a very harsh, unforgiving opinion. I mean, if we treat others the way we want to be treated, would you or I or anyone here want to be judged out of hand and despised based on hearsay evidence?

Of course, this being the Internet, judgement calls based on hearsay evidence are pretty much the rule, rather than the exception. I'm not defending or attacking his position, I just think I see where Delicious is coming from.

Yeah, I know where he or she was coming from too, I was just trying to have a little fun with him or her. I meant no offense, and if I did offend him or her, I'm sorry.

And yes, it is true that we as mere anonymous folk of the interwebs do not have first-hand experience with the OP's mother, but he did ask for advice and gave a brief scenario of his blight. You can learn quite a bit from very little, even if most of that knowledge is pure assumptions. And with how emotional people can become on forums, they are quick to pass dubious judgement. However, I don't think that calling others names and degrading their levels of education is hardly an excuse to protect one's self from backlash. Granted because only so much emotion can be placed into black and white text, many people resort to using all-caps and aggressive language to get their point across.

Yes, I understand that I passed judgement upon this woman without knowing her. However, in my defense, I will say that ultimately, the decision is up to the OP. He'll have to decide whether or not to take his mother in regardless of what we say. We are just the metaphorical devils and angels standing on the OP's shoulders.

Oh, and you're not ignorant. You're just offering your insight. And I do thank you for your time. :]

 

[Protocol95]

Pretty much what Irridium said.

 

[Delicious]

She isn't "obviously" anything, YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING MET HER.

And if you choose to respond please do so methodically, leave the cussing to the truckers and sailors. Thank you. :]

I may cuss a lot, but that isn't nearly as bad as telling someone they should kick out their own damn mother, based on what amounts to nothing.

Hell, some of you were even calling her a bum which is, as you say, insulting and degrading. In short, I'll insult whoever I please, especially if they throw the first stone.

I appreciate your attempt to reason with me, though.