Poll: Should I keep his stuff?

[-Samurai-]

Ok, long story short, a very good friend of mine met a girl and started acting like an ass(His first Girlfriend. We're both 23). He slowly started turning his friends into enemies, or cutting them out of his life completely. I was the last to go. We were like brothers, and I was loyal to him to the very end. I defended his actions, knowing that every amount of flak he was getting was well deserved.

When the time finally came for him to start his bullshit with me, I was nothing but honest with him about how he was treating everyone, and the fact that he had no(literally none) friends left. I was harsh on him, but it was nothing but honest.

Anyway, I have a few of his things. PS3 games and accessories, a computer, a bass guitar and an amplifier to go with it. I'd say it totals to around $600+.

I've called him many times and left him many messages, I've sent many texts over the last two weeks. I simply said that I had some stuff of his and he should come get it. I don't have a car so taking it there isn't an option. He's been ignoring the calls and texts.

I know he won't call me about it because he's afraid of what I'd say(I was extremely harsh to him), and probably scared of what I'd do to him in person(Nothing. That's not the kind of guy I am).

So, would it be right of me to keep all of it? Hell, if he doesn't care enough to contact me about it, he obviously doesn't care. I did my part, and he ignored me. All I can do is wait for him to contact me, which I can guarantee with 100% certainty will not happen.

Further discussion: Has anything like this ever happened to you? What did you do?

 

[TheBluesader]

Keep everything and feel free to use it, but don't destroy or sell it. That way, if he wants it back in a year or so, you can give it back, no problem, with his rental fee being you getting to use it.

If he still doesn't come after it in like two or three years, then it's yours. And I don't think any judge in the land would side with him if he went after you for breaking/selling it. If he doesn't try to get it back in that time, that is.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Keep everything and feel free to use it, but don't destroy or sell it. That way, if he wants it back in a year or so, you can give it back, no problem, with his rental fee being you getting to use it.

If he still doesn't come after it in like two or three years, then it's yours. And I don't think any judge in the land would side with him if he went after you for breaking/selling it. If he doesn't try to get it back in that time, that is.

This is probably the most thoughtful thing to do.

Also, some of that stuff sounds AWESOME!

Learn to play that bass!

 

[Fragrance of Mtn Dew]

I'd keep it. I mean like you said, you have no way of getting it to him and he knows you have it so I'd say keep it until he comes to get it. If he doesn't then you lost a shitty friend and gained a bunch of cool stuff. Fair trade in my book.

Uh... Nothing exactly like that has happened to me but I've seen way too much friend+girl=drama. I usually just play it cool and try not to get too involved and be honest when required, kinda like you did.

 

[Eldarion]

I'd destroy his things. Then never speak to him again.

But thats just how I am.

 

[Blaghman]

Words

Yeah, my opinion is the same as TheBluesader, just look after the stuff. The best way to look after it of course being to use it (admittedly, you could do an epic sit-com style concert outside wherever he lives, ending with you smashing his bass... But that would be irresponable (but awesome)).

 

[JIst00]

I hate it when people do this. I mean your friend not you btw =P.

Keep hold of it, but feel free to use it, and when he comes crawling back with his heart in tatters, at least you'll be able to give it him back.]

And he will crawl back. Unnfortunately I've seen this happen too many times, a mate meets a girl and suddenly doesnt need his mates anymore...

 

[Icecoldcynic]

Just keep it. He knows it's there and there's not much else you can do.

 

[magnuslion]

in most states, it is 90 days to 6 months before property is considered legally "abandoned". I would keep ahold of it until then, and then feel free to do whatever you would like.
Dick move on his part, but chicks make guys do stupid stuff.

 

[-Samurai-]

I'm not the type of guy to destroy anything I could find useful, although the thought of selling some of it has crossed my mind. Of course, it wouldn't be any time soon.

Learn to play that bass!

Oh I will. I love the guitar and I've always wanted to play bass. It's a very nice Ibanez.

 

[Naheal]

Keep everything and feel free to use it, but don't destroy or sell it.

I disagree with the last part of this. He's abandoned his stuff. You've claimed it. Do with it as you please

 

[Goldeneye1989]

Honestly, look up legally and stuff before you destroy/sell, but use it all you want i would say

but if he does come around to at least contact you i would give it back to him. but thats just me /shrug

 

[IzisviAziria]

Gotta agree with the consensus here, just keep the stuff and use it as you please... I wouldn't sell it or destroy it or anything.

and Jlst00 is completely right... he will come back. Either when the something goes wrong with the girl, or when he realizes he just traded all his friends for the girl (and that the trade sucked), he'll come to his senses.

Also... don't give up on him. I mean don't continue to bug him, at this point it won't help. But when he's ready to own up... don't deny him that.

I've gone through this situation too. On both sides. And all I can say is... when I was on the side with the girl, nothing meant more to me than to have a friend stick by me even when I had no earthly right to deserve it. That's what real friends are... they'll stick by you even if you shit on them once in a while.

Girls do strange things to a guy's head... half the time, I don't even think they realize they're doing it. But they do.

 

[replingham153]

I think it's yours. if he comes back just say screw you, i waited, i sent messages!

 

[EeveeElectro]

Keep everything and feel free to use it, but don't destroy or sell it. That way, if he wants it back in a year or so, you can give it back, no problem, with his rental fee being you getting to use it.

If he still doesn't come after it in like two or three years, then it's yours. And I don't think any judge in the land would side with him if he went after you for breaking/selling it. If he doesn't try to get it back in that time, that is.

This is the best idea. He can't ***** and moan to you in the future because he never answered your calls, it's his own fault. I hate stories like that I hope he sorts himself out and comes grovelling back.
As for similar stories, I gave my ex back his PS2 and games because I was gonna finish him in the next few days so he wouldn't be bitching and moaning at me. I couldn't find one of his movies at the time and then he started whining at me to give him that back and acting like a smug twat with, "You're coming to me with them =D then I can tell you what I think of you to your face."

I didn't for his own safety. I probably would have slashed his throat if I saw his ugly mug again.

 

[Brad Shepard]

I have a friend going down this same damn route now... He is so up his GF's ass they see through the same eyes, if you get what i mean.

I would say keep the stuff... depending on the games that it.

 

[SpaceFrank]

I've seen this happen too, but not to this extreme. Like some of the above people said, he will come back after she's finished with him, unless he's a total idiot and marries her or something. Or if it's been so long that after they break up, he's afraid to talk to his old friends.

Use the stuff, don't sell it, and if you don't hear from him in a couple years, do with it as you please. Of course, by then the computer and PS3 stuff will be old and obsolete, and you'll keep the bass and amp because you've been playing it for 2 years!

 

[thornphoenix]

If you get rid of it he will probably find a way to use that against you. I have had something similar happen to me. Holding onto the gear and using it is perfectly fine so long as its not broken.

Then after about 3 years then just claim ownership.

However i do suggest that you send him messages continually reminding him that you have the stuff. But you do it with decreasing regularity, first its like once a day, then once a week, and then once a month. Perhaps even end the messsages with a deadline, if you don't claim this stuff i will.

 

[Eagle Est1986]

A lot of friends go through a weird period when they get their first girlfriend. Keep his stuff and just don't worry about him, he'll be back within 6 months, tops.

 

[Mr. Mike]

Well this guy seems to have similar interests to me (PS3, computer, bass). Too bad he went "rogue". Keep the stuff, enjoy it all, and after half a year, assuming he hasn't claimed them, continue to enjoy it.