Poll: Should parents of extremely obese children lose custody for not controlling their kids' weight?

intheweeds

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blakfayt said:
Scytail said:
Ok, first I'm 400 pounds, I have been gaining weight for years, since I discovered video games and gave up sunlight. I'm 20 years old now, but I swear, if anyone EVER said "Your losing your kids cause they're fat and lazy" I'D KNOCK THEM THE FUCK OUT. God damn elitist douche bags, some people are just fucking fat, and no amount of celery is gonna fix it. I knew a guy who almost never ate, ran every day and couldn't lose any weight, turns out he had a crap metabolism, he could have junk food, but he could only eat at certain times, and in heavily controlled amounts, so he gave up, he worked out to maintain his heavy set and just ate when he wanted.

Point is, some people are just different, and you shouldn't make kids LEAVE THEIR PARENTS because they parents can't afford to put out a huge spread of healthy food for dinner.
I disagree with you on some points here. I come from an overweight family and it is difficult for me to maintain my weight so i understand where you're coming from. Where we grow apart is when you say some people just can't lose weight. I disagree strongly with that. It is very difficult to keep myself at a relatively healthy weight, I feel like i have to work out more than most of the people i know and I am usually at least 20-30 lbs over at any given time regardless. But I do eat like crap a lot of the time and i know that contributes a lot. Getting healthy is a major commitment and that is why people fail IMO. I believe it is possible for everyone though.

You bring up an excellent point though. At least in North America, we have waaaay to much starch in our diet. Eating on a budget in North America means eating more starch and grains than one should consume. That is a huge problem in my opinion.

OT: Although I don't think anyone's kids should be taken away, as an adult you have the right to sit on your ass playing video games and eating crap if you want, but you have a duty as a parent to force your children to go outside and play once in a while and limit junk food. My family was dirt poor growing up. I never had anything my friends had, but we had a strict sugar rule in our house. There is nothing wrong with that and although i think there is something to the argument, I don't think family income is solely to blame for poor diet.
 

fibchopkin

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thelonewolf266 said:
blakfayt said:
Scytail said:
Here's an idea EAT LESS.
Oh and there's this thing called exercise its really not that bad.
For the record I think it would be stupid and wrong to take parents kids away because they are fat that said something needs to be done cause it s getting ridiculous now.
Oh sweet Jesus, how I HATE hearing this! Indulge me in a little story telling moment. I was always active- Ballet and cheerleading from the time I was 5 till moving to Germany at age 12 kinda killed the ability, but at which point I picked up a deep and abiding love for Soccer, which I coninued through my brief stint in college. In the Army, I did the mandatory daily physical training and additionally, joined the Army Ten Miler team when I realized that I rather liked to run. As you can guess- weight was never a really huge issue for me. Fast forward 7 years, I have had my first child and been through a stressfull deployment to Iraq- I went from a very trim and extremely active 5'7, 150lbs to a chubby, not spectacular looking 200 lbs. It was miserable for me, and every single FUCKING time I heard "Well, just eat less." I got a nearly irresistible urge to go eat a fucking pizza and chocolate sundae. Inevitably, the words came from someone who never needed to deal with a weight problem, or an unhealthy relationship with food. For most chronically overweight individuals "just eating less" is NOT a goddamn solution. For me, it took counseling and meetings of the type that are generally associated with recovering alcoholics and addicts.
Now, I'm not defending the idea that it's Okay to allow such a problem to go untreated in your child, it's not, in my opinion. But the parents of obese chidren must be facing a very unique quandry. We exist in a society that both demands physical perfection and at the same time shouts that we must accpet the beauty and uniqueness of all body types. I imagine that parents of obese children must feel at loss. How do you convey your misgivings to your child without making them feel that your love is dependent on their physical appearance? How do you teach a child that what's inside matters the most if it appears that you're more focused on the outside? Maybe classes are the answer, maybe counciling, maybe support groups. I don't really know the correct answer, but I do feel pretty sure that taking away someone's parents is not usually going to be the best weight loss motivator.
 

crudus

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enzilewulf said:
A. Thanks!
B. Wait... I can basically eat everything I want and only gain about 2 pounds and I can be lazy for a whole week and not really gain anything... yet my cousin if he does that puts on ten pounds. So whats the reason behind that?
Metabolism (specifically Catabolism) is just how quickly your body turns food into energy. How do you think that translates into not gaining weight versus gaining weight?

Your question gives me little information so I will just provide my two best guesses:

1. You burn more energy than you think.
2. You and/or your cousin are losing track of how many kilocalories are being eaten.
 

Nargleblarg

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Not trying to be a downer but their are children that are physically abused that still have their parents custody, lets work on one thing at a time.
 

Lilani

Sometimes known as CaitieLou
May 27, 2009
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TheTurtleMan said:
Yea, let's take obese kids and make them orphans as well. I honestly think that the children are just as much to blame as the parents, it's all about self control. Instead of just taking the children away to put into a foster home with strangers, we require a class to educate parents about the dangers of obesity.

I hope that we aren't to a point in society where you can essentially kidnap these children because of an unhealthy lifestyle.
Here's the problem though: if the parent isn't providing any foods that are healthy, what the hell is self-control going to mean? If all mom makes for dinner is fried bologna sandwiches with potato chips, how is that the kid's fault? And before you say no parent is like that, yes, there is. My mom works at an elementary school and sees it all the time. There's a boy in special education right now, and all his mom packs his lunch with is marshmallow creme sandwiches, sticky buns, ho-hos, and cheetos. Not only is he hyperactive from all the sugar, but his skin is thin and pasty and his hair is falling out from the lack of nutrition.

At that age, kids have no control over that their parents give them, and they don't know to ask for any better. You cannot expect a 4-10 year old to know about self-control or proper nutrition, especially if the parent has never made an effort to reinforce those values. Yes, once they get to be age 15-16 it becomes a question of self-control, but a 400 pound 6 year old is not acceptable. That is when it goes from bad parenting to neglect.
 

Tdc2182

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Scytail said:
Tdc2182 said:
I don't think I've ever been closer to slapping someone over the internet.

Not no... but HELL NO!

Jesus Christ, it's just a kid being fat. I know plenty of fat kids with amazing parents.
Its not about your normal "fat kids" its about children who are obese and in life threating situations. Read the fuckin article or hell, even read the title of the discussion Should parents of EXTREMELY OBESE CHILDREN lose custody for not controlling their kids' weight?
Guess what? My answer is still the exact same. I did read the article. I find it extremely uninformed and fucking retarded.

This is the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Government will never have the right to control how parents raise their kids.
 

aww yea

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Freakout456 said:
Not trying to be a downer but their are children that are physically abused that still have their parents custody, lets work on one thing at a time.
Theres that, and there's also the way that many childern are in foster care and being neglected. Fix the solution, fix the big problem THEN deal with the fat kids.

Slightly more OT i agree as far as something must be done about kids being overweight, but i dont think this is the way to go about it. Why not provide these parents with food coupon thingys for specifically healthy food? Whos going to say no to free meals?
 

thelonewolf266

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fibchopkin said:
thelonewolf266 said:
blakfayt said:
Scytail said:
Here's an idea EAT LESS.
Oh and there's this thing called exercise its really not that bad.
For the record I think it would be stupid and wrong to take parents kids away because they are fat that said something needs to be done cause it s getting ridiculous now.
Oh sweet Jesus, how I HATE hearing this! Indulge me in a little story telling moment. I was always active- Ballet and cheerleading from the time I was 5 till moving to Germany at age 12 kinda killed the ability, but at which point I picked up a deep and abiding love for Soccer, which I coninued through my brief stint in college. In the Army, I did the mandatory daily physical training and additionally, joined the Army Ten Miler team when I realized that I rather liked to run. As you can guess- weight was never a really huge issue for me. Fast forward 7 years, I have had my first child and been through a stressfull deployment to Iraq- I went from a very trim and extremely active 5'7, 150lbs to a chubby, not spectacular looking 200 lbs. It was miserable for me, and every single FUCKING time I heard "Well, just eat less." I got a nearly irresistible urge to go eat a fucking pizza and chocolate sundae. Inevitably, the words came from someone who never needed to deal with a weight problem, or an unhealthy relationship with food. For most chronically overweight individuals "just eating less" is NOT a goddamn solution. For me, it took counseling and meetings of the type that are generally associated with recovering alcoholics and addicts.
Now, I'm not defending the idea that it's Okay to allow such a problem to go untreated in your child, it's not, in my opinion. But the parents of obese chidren must be facing a very unique quandry. We exist in a society that both demands physical perfection and at the same time shouts that we must accpet the beauty and uniqueness of all body types. I imagine that parents of obese children must feel at loss. How do you convey your misgivings to your child without making them feel that your love is dependent on their physical appearance? How do you teach a child that what's inside matters the most if it appears that you're more focused on the outside? Maybe classes are the answer, maybe counciling, maybe support groups. I don't really know the correct answer, but I do feel pretty sure that taking away someone's parents is not usually going to be the best weight loss motivator.
I appreciate that some people can't help putting on the weight due to a number of different factors like in your case the stress of having a child and being deployed in Iraq and in that case it isn't you fault but just as you hate people saying what I said I hate it when people that eat loads and don't exercise because they are lazy act as though their the victim and blame it on genetics or bad metabolism.
 

The Gnome King

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Scytail said:
The full article can be found here: http://news.yahoo.com/parents-lose-custody-super-obese-kids-200342454.html

Yes! If the parents are the problem then the child should be removed from the household. I know this would add even more problems to an already underfunded and ineffective system but this should be added in as another type of child abuse.

OT: I enjoy how both sides of the argument in the article both state that they arent blaming the parents. Instead we should blame "advertising, marketing, peer pressure and bullying." If I remember correctly from my childhood, I believe my parents bought the food and controlled what we ate.
This is an interesting question, and I don't think the answer is a simple black or white one.

First of all, the foster care system in the US isn't a sparkling example of a healthy, child-focused environment from the (former) foster children I have known and talked to. You might be doing more harm than good to these children. Instead of "removing" the children from the household, perhaps take the resources that would be given to the foster family and instead provide the original parents nutritional advice, food vouchers for healthy food, cooking lessons... basically try to improve the lot of the family and the child in the biological family environment instead of shifting the burden to a foster family or to the state.

Second of all, I think we need to take the desires of the child into consideration. Children, even young ones, might have strong opinions of who they want to live with. I know that even at age seven, I was able to clearly articulate to a court of law which one of my parents I wanted to live with when they divorced, and why. The court took this into consideration when I was placed to live with my mother and my maternal grandparents.

Third of all, on the flip side, I think that in some cases of gross negligence, the child DOES need to be removed from the environment. Some people can't take care of a dog let alone a child. I was healthy in spite of (not because of) my mother's food choices for me - she never cooked, I was left to fend for myself, and I grew up eating a lot of processed crap as a result of this. I learned how to cook healthy foods in my early teens and this went a long way to helping ensure that I never had problems with food or became obese myself. Some children and teenagers, though, probably don't have the ability or access to healthy food that I did when I was growing up.

My mother couldn't take care of her dog, though - seriously, she endangered the life of every pet she owned by throwing food and "treats" at it. I don't understand people with overweight pets - at all. They're pets. They eat what you put in a bowl in front of them. Period. Most pets don't have access to outside food choices and giving in to a begging obese dog because you don't like hearing it whine is just cruel. My mother's "hopelessly overweight" chocolate purebred lab, a sweet, sweet dog, slimmed down to a normal, healthy weight within 2 months of me owning her. I simply stopped feeding the dog treats and put it on a vet approved diet, the dog eats what I feed it, twice a day, with no variation in between.

For children and/or pets with thyroid problems or other concerns, they should be seen by a competent doctor or vet; failure to do this is not providing basic medical care for a dependent that can't provide it for themselves; and this is abusive.

To end all of this, I personally believe that people should need a license to breed/have children in the first place, because while many people are completely capable of being excellent parents, some parents have absolutely NO business raising children due to lack of basic education, social skills, knowledge of nutrition, etc. - if you lack these things, how do you expect to impart them to a child?

So, lots going on with that question. I think perhaps people wanting to reproduce should prove they can keep a, say, houseplant alive first. Then move on to a more complex form of life like a dog, and, if you succeed with the plant and the dog MAYBE you can have a kid. ;)
 

Scytail

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SillyBear said:
Scytail said:
You aren't thinking clearly at all on the issue.

Yes, I agree, parents who do nothing to encourage healthy eating and instill things like diabetes in their children through over feeding are in a way, abusing their child.

However, do you understand just how damaging and complicated the process of taking someone's child away is? In most cases the child doesn't want to go, the parent's don't want to lose them and depression, anger and self destructive behaviour runs rampant. My aunty runs a foster home and I can tell you being over weight is far less harmful than being taken from your family.

The solution you are suggesting is a greater injustice and is far more dangerous than the actual problem is.
Nobody said it had to be forever. If the parents demonstrate a willingness to change their lifestyle and provide a healty life for them and their children then by all means, give the kids back. But if the parents dont then they shouldnt have kids in the first place.
 

SillyBear

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Scytail said:
SillyBear said:
Scytail said:
You aren't thinking clearly at all on the issue.

Yes, I agree, parents who do nothing to encourage healthy eating and instill things like diabetes in their children through over feeding are in a way, abusing their child.

However, do you understand just how damaging and complicated the process of taking someone's child away is? In most cases the child doesn't want to go, the parent's don't want to lose them and depression, anger and self destructive behaviour runs rampant. My aunty runs a foster home and I can tell you being over weight is far less harmful than being taken from your family.

The solution you are suggesting is a greater injustice and is far more dangerous than the actual problem is.
Nobody said it had to be forever. If the parents demonstrate a willingness to change their lifestyle and provide a healty life for them and their children then by all means, give the kids back. But if the parents dont then they shouldnt have kids in the first place.
You can't just take a child from a house like that. It's incredibly, incredibly complex and nearly always results in serious problems. I don't think you understand the gravitas of it.
 

Ticonderoga77

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No, they should be repeatedly slapped upside the head with an Oreo pizza (that's been frozen solid and is wielded by the world's strongest man) every twenty minutes until they reform their ways.
 

Lilani

Sometimes known as CaitieLou
May 27, 2009
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Tdc2182 said:
But when does "how parents raise their kids" become neglect? I put this in the post right above yours, but I'll put it here again for good measure.

My mom works at an elementary school and sees it all the time. There's a boy in special education right now, and all his mom packs his lunch with is marshmallow creme sandwiches, sticky buns, ho-hos, and cheetos. Not only is he hyperactive from all the sugar, but his skin is thin and pasty and his hair is falling out from the lack of nutrition.

Is that an acceptable way for someone to be raising their child? How is that any different from letting him go hungry? He could die or become terminally ill if he gets too low on any essential vitamin or mineral. Poor nutrition can cause permanent damage. I think that sort of thing should be considered neglect.

As for obesity, I don't think it should be as black and white considering there are other causes other than overeating. However, I think the extreme situations should call for investigations, and if necessary court-ordered nutrition classes and counseling. If it continues to be a problem or the parent refuses to comply, I think taking away the child shouldn't be totally out of the question. It is neglect to allow your child to starve when you are perfectly capable of providing food for them. Why should not providing proper nutrition when you can be any different? Both are essential for life.
 

aww yea

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fibchopkin said:
thelonewolf266 said:
blakfayt said:
Scytail said:
Here's an idea EAT LESS.
Oh and there's this thing called exercise its really not that bad.
For the record I think it would be stupid and wrong to take parents kids away because they are fat that said something needs to be done cause it s getting ridiculous now.
Oh sweet Jesus, how I HATE hearing this! Indulge me in a little story telling moment. I was always active- Ballet and cheerleading from the time I was 5 till moving to Germany at age 12 kinda killed the ability, but at which point I picked up a deep and abiding love for Soccer, which I coninued through my brief stint in college. In the Army, I did the mandatory daily physical training and additionally, joined the Army Ten Miler team when I realized that I rather liked to run. As you can guess- weight was never a really huge issue for me. Fast forward 7 years, I have had my first child and been through a stressfull deployment to Iraq- I went from a very trim and extremely active 5'7, 150lbs to a chubby, not spectacular looking 200 lbs. It was miserable for me, and every single FUCKING time I heard "Well, just eat less." I got a nearly irresistible urge to go eat a fucking pizza and chocolate sundae. Inevitably, the words came from someone who never needed to deal with a weight problem, or an unhealthy relationship with food. For most chronically overweight individuals "just eating less" is NOT a goddamn solution. For me, it took counseling and meetings of the type that are generally associated with recovering alcoholics and addicts.
Now, I'm not defending the idea that it's Okay to allow such a problem to go untreated in your child, it's not, in my opinion. But the parents of obese chidren must be facing a very unique quandry. We exist in a society that both demands physical perfection and at the same time shouts that we must accpet the beauty and uniqueness of all body types. I imagine that parents of obese children must feel at loss. How do you convey your misgivings to your child without making them feel that your love is dependent on their physical appearance? How do you teach a child that what's inside matters the most if it appears that you're more focused on the outside? Maybe classes are the answer, maybe counciling, maybe support groups. I don't really know the correct answer, but I do feel pretty sure that taking away someone's parents is not usually going to be the best weight loss motivator.
You're not making them lose weight for apppearance you're doing it for health. When did this ever become about appearance? And while i won't say its as easy as some people make it out to be, it kinda is as simple as eat less a lot of the time. NOT EVERYTIME. But for a lot of people eating less has lost them a lot of weight. Not just less but healthier. I mean i cant imagine the counciling telling you much more than eat less and giving some tactics to do so?

I find with many people they dont actually want to eat less or lose weight. They just attempt to because they think they should. When they start to want to for themselves is when i see the motivation and effect kick in.

Im sorry i cannot agree with your post at all, other than taking parents away isnt necissarily the best option
 

The Youth Counselor

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Well that article provided extreme examples of childhood obesity that often coincided with other neglect? (Seriously a 90+ pound 3 year old?) Someone needs to step in those cases. But as for just having an overweight kid while the living situation is okay and the family diet is fairly balanced? No.
 

Laser Priest

A Magpie Among Crows
Mar 24, 2011
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Because fat is a crime and emotional problems caused by dividing families are a great method of weight loss.

[/sarcasm]

Are you fucking serious? This is practically disturbing that someone thinks this is a valid idea.