Poll: So a man walks into a bar...

[Luna]

No.

I can't imagine myself trusting this person enough to be sure I'd get 5 mill for this.

To even consider killing someone I'd need to be sure. Though I probably wouldn't do it anyway...

captcha was 'change yourself'

THE INTERNET IS JUDGING US ALL

 

[Robot Number V]

Wow. Almost everyone is either saying "Fuck yeah, I'd do it" or "No, because I'd get caught". Almost no one has answered "No, because IT'S NOT NICE TO FUCKING MURDER PEOPLE." This image seems appropriate:

Anyway, if it wasn't already obvious: My answer.

No, because it's NOT NICE TO FUCKING MURDER PEOPLE. OBVIOUSLY.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Expand the "Don't know the person," to "Don't know of the person," and I'm in.

 

[Robot Number V]

Wow. Almost everyone is either saying "Fuck yeah, I'd do it" or "No, because I'd get caught". Almost no one has answered "No, because IT'S NOT NICE TO FUCKING MURDER PEOPLE." This image seems appropriate:

Anyway, if it wasn't already obvious: My answer.

No, because it's NOT NICE TO FUCKING MURDER PEOPLE. OBVIOUSLY.

I don't think it's people pretending to be badass, it's people admitting they're greedy.

There's not a lot in this world I wouldn't do for 5mil.

Yeah, I don't think greed is really the issue. I'm just saying that there are things keeping us from murdering each other besides personal risk and money. That seems fairly obvious to me. I seriously doubt that so many people would commit murder without hesitation for the right amount of money. That's insane. In every possible sense of the word.

 

[Reaper195]

Yes. Totally.

 

[Robot Number V]

Human nature would like a word with you.

People murder for a lot less, every day. You'd be surprised what people would do for that kind of money when push comes to shove.

I'm so glad you said that. See, the great thing about "human nature" is that it's a totally nebulous concept. So however I choose to view human nature is just as valid as your view. Speaking of which:


Anyway, if we're really going to get into a debate about the inherent nature of humanity, I would also like to point out that if it was our "nature" to kill each other, we would obviously have gone extinct quite some time ago.

 

[VonKlaw]

Is this gonna be a 'box' type thing. Where the next person to accept the money has to kill me... etc.

I was thinking of this example too when I read the OP - anyone that randomly hurls out $5 million in bars to strangers for killing someone clearly has a plan.

Although for what its worth, I would say no anyway - I have this thing, I believe its called empathy, that tells me that I would not like being murdered by some random guy, so I would not murder random guys either.

 

[Tipsy Giant]

I'd say "Yeah, but we can't talk here" walk outside in to the alley then kill him and keep the money.

He was going to kill someone so i'm justified morally and I have no links to him as we just met, the perfect crime!

 

[Sexy Devil]

Make it pounds and we have a deal.

And then i'll give you 5 million reasons why I wouldn't feel bad about it.

If it's 5 million reasons does that mean you'd kill a man for one pound?

Anyway I wouldn't do it. I feel bad when I accidentally kill random AI citizens in sandbox games who are pretty much designed to annoy the hell out of you. I can't even imagine what actually killing someone would do to my mental state.

 

[Bertylicious]

A much more pertinent question would be to ask people if they'd let the stranger spunk in their bum-hole for 5 million. That way people will be able to recognise whether or not they are whores.

 

[Genericjim101]

Marines had me doing that crap for way less money so yes

This guy XD. Well I'd ask who it was first, I mean I did once try drugging the shit out of my stepdad XD

 

[somonels]

Yes, Give, Weapon, Where, Target, kthxbye pmforre

A much more pertinent question would be to ask people if they'd let the stranger spunk in their bum-hole for 5 million. That way people will be able to recognise whether or not they are whores.

5mil upfront and I'll do it in a public place yelling 'lol, 5mil ez money'

 

[Rawne1980]

Make it pounds and we have a deal.

And then i'll give you 5 million reasons why I wouldn't feel bad about it.

If it's 5 million reasons does that mean you'd kill a man for one pound?

That depends.

If he's a decent man then no .... I would have to charge a fiver.

If he's done something really evil though like stole my parking space or looked at my beer with thoughts of drinking it then i'd do it for free.

 

[thylasos]

No. I don't have a price where my ethics disappear.

I'd refuse the job, steal the money, hand it in to the police, and provide a description of the bloke.

 

[Reginald]

I've that episode of the Twilight Zone (the one with the button), so no.

 

[Something Amyss]

It's a hypothetical scenario, stop over thinking it.

Yes, hypothetical situations are immune from having holes because....PONIES.

 

[Syzygy23]

No chance of being caught?

If it was truly 0% then yes, I'd do it.

EDIT Well I say I would but as well all know, killing someone is no small thing. I'm not sure if I would actually do it but the 0% being caught thing is an incentive.


EDIT2 Bullshit, it isn't 0%. The fucking guy knows, he would have your balls for all time as he would know. No, fuck that. I'll say no and not end up dead or in jail.

And the fact that you could be taking the life of an innocent person never factored into that?

Huh.

 

[Scarim Coral]

No since I am not a profession killer. If I were to attent it, I will highly fail it and get caught by the police. So the only thing I will get out of it is a hell of a time in prison, so no thank you.

 

[Rumpsteak]

In this hypothetical situation I am a multi-billionaire so instead I would just laugh at him.

 

[ClockworkPenguin]

It reminds me of a (probably apocryphal) story about Churchill. He was at a party and asked a lady "would you sleep with me for $1 million", to which she said yes. He then said something along the lines of "Good, here's £5, meet me in the hotel room".
She then gets indignant and protests "What kind of women do you think I am?!", to which he replies "That has already been established my lady, now we are merely haggling over price".

That poorly remembered story is my roundabout way of saying that you could shove your money where the son don't shine. I am not that sort of person.