Poll: Someone else's joke

[Giest4life]

Time to ease your guilt, people, post all the witty one liners/jokes/quotes that you wished were yours

Here's mine, courtesy of mb16 [the Escapist]: The ability to make anyone get toast for you supersedes all other powers. For some reason, I've never had the urge to claim something mine more than this.

 

[blue heartless]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks:

?Hey, how much for a beer??

The bartender says, ?For you, no charge."

 

[OverweightWhale]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks:

?Hey, how much for a beer??

The bartender says, ?For you, no charge."

My Chemistry teacher used to use that joke all the time. There was always that awkward laugh after he told it.

 

[TheTurtleMan]

One day a doctor was giving a girl a physical when he noticed that she had a big impression of a Y on her chest. Upon inquiring the girl told him that she had a boyfriend that attended Yale and he never took his hoodie off, not even for sex.
The next day another girl came in with a big H on her chest. Upon inquiring the girl told him that she had a boyfriend that attended Harvard and he never took off his hoodie, not even for sex.
The next day another girl came in with a big W on her chest. This time the doctor said. " Let me guess you have a boyfriend at Wisconsin?" The girl replied, "No, but I have a girlfriend in Michigan. Why do you ask?"

 

[Giest4life]

One day a doctor was giving a girl a physical when he noticed that she had a big impression of a Y on her chest. Upon inquiring the girl told him that she had a boyfriend that attended Yale and he never took his hoodie off, not even for sex.
The next day another girl came in with a big H on her chest. Upon inquiring the girl told him that she had a boyfriend that attended Harvard and he never took off his hoodie, not even for sex.
The next day another girl came in with a big W on her chest. This time the doctor said. " Let me guess you have a boyfriend at Wisconsin?" The girl replied, "No, but I have a girlfriend in Michigan. Why do you ask?"

I understood the punchline on the third read. My mind isn't as dirty as I had previously thought.

 

[J-dog42]

I hear rapper 50 Cent is visiting Zimbabwe, except over there they call him four million dollars.

I stole that from a Facebook friend.