Poll: Spanking vs Grounding
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ya, but only when i didnt want to be sent to my room for whatever reason. thats all my mom would do is make me go to my room 
sometimes i didnt mind, sometimes i wanted to do something else. so i tried opting for a few smacks (across the face though, she was weaksauce lol)
sometimes i didnt mind, sometimes i wanted to do something else. so i tried opting for a few smacks (across the face though, she was weaksauce lol)Statements like this one make me stick to my opinion.Thumper17 said:
It is needlessly agressive and personal and shows clearly that the author didn't bother to read my following posts or the rest of the thread.
I think such behavior is the result of lower-level-moral-thinking. If you don't bother about things that go beyond personal consequences (If I do something bad, I might get punished) then you don't have any understanding about what is good or bad as soon as there is no clear punishment (see: Internet forums). Unfortunatly moral reasoning is nothing that is given to us from birth (contrary to what the early british empirists might say).
It is something that has to be learned. And a child can't learn that if the punishment for missbehavior does not reflect the missbehavior. Spanking and grounding are both incredibly arbitrary, they lack a connection to reality. How many spanks are worth a shoplift? How many are child abuse?
If you must punish you children, do it by emphazing the value of the broken rule. Someone earlier joked about me by asking, if I would punish my kid, that had beaten a neighbor, by allowing the neighbor so slap it.
Definately! I am not about wrapping kids in cotton, but about punishment that as a connection to the missbehavior and encourages moral reasoning. If my kid feels the pain of being beaten by another kid first hand, it will understand why we don't do that. You cannot recreate the same experience by withholding a xbox.
My parents never grounded me, they just smacked me when I misbehaved (I can't say 'spank'... it doesn't sound right :/). That method worked out pretty well for them and had no bad repercussions on me. I learned to behave by fearing a smack on the thigh or arm instead being forced to sit inside where all my toys and stuff was. Hardly a punishment in my mind.
It's illigal to spank a child in Denmark, and the parent can imprisoned over even lesser forms of "abuse" such as spanking.
I only got hit once, and it was when I nearly walked into traffic when I was 3. My mom gave me a quick swat on the butt. Other than that, I was never hit, always grounded.
All it takes is some extra effort from the parents to enforce the grounding. For example, I only ever tried weaseling out of it once. I was typically grounded for a half-hour to an hour when I was younger (ages 4-9), depending on what I did or how old I was. One time, I decided to make use of my Game Boy, but I got caught because I lacked any common sense and my parents actually took the time to enforce their punishment by stealthily looking into my room and checking on me. My parents took my Game Boy, used the circuit breaker to cut the power to my room, and then tripled my waiting time. Three hours of staring at my ceiling at age 6 was pretty torturous for me, and I never tried cheating my punishment again.
Other than being sent to my room, for minor infractions (i.e. forgetting to take my dirty shoes off after coming inside) meant extra chores. I'd have to vacuum the rug I'd just messed up and then do something else I didn't like, such as emptying the dishwasher or dusting a room.
As I got older, I was pretty well-behaved. The only thing I got punished for was when my grades would slip (B- or lower). When that happened, I had my video game time cut way down (the only reason it wasn't eliminated completely was because we moved a lot and most of my social life was online)and I had to read a book for at least an hour a day, which I absolutely hated. Doing that every day for five weeks, which was the time between progress reports and our actual report cards, was enough to get my grades up.
I'm told when I was an infant/toddler, I was put in time out. It was two minutes for each year of my age (two minutes when I was 1, four minutes when I was 2, etc.). If I ever tried getting out of my high chair or crib, I'd get put back in and the timer would be restarted. It doesn't sound like a decent punishment, but it apparently worked wonders because I hated staying still.
I guess my point is that grounding worked fine for me because my parents took the time to enforce it. They also kept track of things I especially hated doing so they knew what to make me do if I stepped out of line. I've always appreciated not being spanked or belted or otherwise hit.
All it takes is some extra effort from the parents to enforce the grounding. For example, I only ever tried weaseling out of it once. I was typically grounded for a half-hour to an hour when I was younger (ages 4-9), depending on what I did or how old I was. One time, I decided to make use of my Game Boy, but I got caught because I lacked any common sense and my parents actually took the time to enforce their punishment by stealthily looking into my room and checking on me. My parents took my Game Boy, used the circuit breaker to cut the power to my room, and then tripled my waiting time. Three hours of staring at my ceiling at age 6 was pretty torturous for me, and I never tried cheating my punishment again.
Other than being sent to my room, for minor infractions (i.e. forgetting to take my dirty shoes off after coming inside) meant extra chores. I'd have to vacuum the rug I'd just messed up and then do something else I didn't like, such as emptying the dishwasher or dusting a room.
As I got older, I was pretty well-behaved. The only thing I got punished for was when my grades would slip (B- or lower). When that happened, I had my video game time cut way down (the only reason it wasn't eliminated completely was because we moved a lot and most of my social life was online)and I had to read a book for at least an hour a day, which I absolutely hated. Doing that every day for five weeks, which was the time between progress reports and our actual report cards, was enough to get my grades up.
I'm told when I was an infant/toddler, I was put in time out. It was two minutes for each year of my age (two minutes when I was 1, four minutes when I was 2, etc.). If I ever tried getting out of my high chair or crib, I'd get put back in and the timer would be restarted. It doesn't sound like a decent punishment, but it apparently worked wonders because I hated staying still.
I guess my point is that grounding worked fine for me because my parents took the time to enforce it. They also kept track of things I especially hated doing so they knew what to make me do if I stepped out of line. I've always appreciated not being spanked or belted or otherwise hit.
I was looking for this, I always considered spanking, or at least some mild physical pain from the act to be appropriate between the ages of 2 and 4, give or take. Sorta depends on the kid, but generally they do not want to repeat something that hurts them (your hand -> their arse), and they lack the cognitive power to understand why they shouldn't if you tell them.Gigaguy64 said:
I probably wouldn't want to use that form of discipline, but it would only be strong enough for them to be aware that repeating the action is undesirable, and probably followed through with some form of conversation or something, just so they don't think you did it for no reason.
Though even thinking this all through, as much as I'd like a couple kids, I know I'm going to have some good spans where I'll dread making the decisions a father must.
Well, from the perspective of a parent, I would say it depends on the severity of the child's misconduct, but that both are appropriate, assuming the grounding does not allow any luxuruy. But that is of course the outlook of a civilized person. one should look to indigenous communities to see what forms of discipline they visit on their children. the civilized almost always turn to violence (measured as they may be) or deprivation. do actual people (the civilized aren't people silly! they forgot how to be) use physical discipline or deprivation to discourage "undesirable" behavior?
I think that that is what I shall tell my parents tomorrow... I don't do what is asked because I do not see the point...Exterminas said:
To the OP: I would MUCH rather get smacked than miss a weekend out with my friends or girlfriend, groundings are cruel and the mere threat of one is a good way for my mother to get me scared...
Well, I wont argue with that. If only because it seems like a very juvenile way to deal with children. Its like going into primate mode, even though we have evolved to use speech as our primary communication tool. We should be past using our teeth and fists for that.Ampersand said:
I just think people overestimate how much of a negative effect it has on kids.
Well, no. That's because I was spanked once when I was really young (don't remember what happened), and grounded 2-3 times since I was 10 (never before). I don't think I would have gotten a spanking considering what I did (accidentally twisted my mom's ankle while trying not to get blood taken, needles scare the piss out of me; bad grades 1-2 times). Not serious enough.
What did you do to make you grounded for a year? i got grounded for 6 months because of my continuation of terrible gradesbeliever258 said:
haha i was good so never had to worrie about this me and my mom were just cool i obayed ta rulez i got ta gamez >
I would never want to get beaten instead of grounding by my parents I had fucking enough of getting beaten with objects, whith fists, getting strangled and put under cold water by those bastards