Poll: Spanking vs Grounding

[Exterminas]

Both are absolutely retarded punishments and any parent who has even a remote understanding of basic education mechanics won't apply them.

A punishment that does not require a child to understand the reason it is punished for, isn't worth anything.

People like you are the entire reason the world is so messed up.

If they do something bad, you take something away. They will soon learn that by doing that bad thing, they lose something they like.

Statements like this one make me stick to my opinion.
It is needlessly agressive and personal and shows clearly that the author didn't bother to read my following posts or the rest of the thread.

I think such behavior is the result of lower-level-moral-thinking. If you don't bother about things that go beyond personal consequences (If I do something bad, I might get punished) then you don't have any understanding about what is good or bad as soon as there is no clear punishment (see: Internet forums). Unfortunatly moral reasoning is nothing that is given to us from birth (contrary to what the early british empirists might say).

It is something that has to be learned. And a child can't learn that if the punishment for missbehavior does not reflect the missbehavior. Spanking and grounding are both incredibly arbitrary, they lack a connection to reality. How many spanks are worth a shoplift? How many are child abuse?

If you must punish you children, do it by emphazing the value of the broken rule. Someone earlier joked about me by asking, if I would punish my kid, that had beaten a neighbor, by allowing the neighbor so slap it.

Definately! I am not about wrapping kids in cotton, but about punishment that as a connection to the missbehavior and encourages moral reasoning. If my kid feels the pain of being beaten by another kid first hand, it will understand why we don't do that. You cannot recreate the same experience by withholding a xbox.

In my opinion the problem with your theory is that you seem to be acting as if your punishing an adult. Young Kids don't understand complex punishments or explanations, nor do they give a shit.
If your kid jumps on the table and starts dancing around swearing and the like, you cant really start explaining why that is not socially acceptable, and then divine an appropriate punishment that matches whatever way they acted like a silly bugger. Instead you pluck them off the table, give them a firm smack, say 'Don't do it again' and the kid will stop.
My parents smacked me when I misbehaved, and I turned out alright, as did most of my charming, smart friends.
Smacking your children doesn't make you a bad parent, in fact, if used sparingly it makes you a better paret, because your not afraid to be firm with your children, so they grow into good people who can divine right from wrong.

The problem with the "kids can't understand moral reasoning" argument is the following: When are they able to understand it? Right. When they already have an idea of moral.
If you start then, it is too late.
You can't start early enough with moral education, because it won't do any damage if you are too early and will be fatal if missed.

You can always beat you kids into submitting to your will after you failed trying to explain it.

In your example of the dancing kid I see two reasons why the kid should not do it
a) it might hurt itself
b) it is annoying

So I would just let the kid keep doing it. If it falls down and hurts itself (a) I will probably learn. (Hot stove) If it doesn't I would get into the kid's room at night and dance on it's table. Hell that must be annoying. Of course you still have to talk to you kid and explain things and not just act like a lunatic at late hours.

 

[RatRace123]

I was an absolutely perfect child and rarely ever got spanked and only got grounded once.

Of course I was (and maybe still am) something of a pussy, so when I got in trouble they would just yell at me, that would usually do the trick.

 

[Danish rage]

Both are absolutely retarded punishments and any parent who has even a remote understanding of basic education mechanics won't apply them.

A punishment that does not require a child to understand the reason it is punished for, isn't worth anything.

You are spot on.

Spanking is nothing more than violence and groundings today are a joke considering the internet, cable, console and all that other crap we as parent buy to our kids. Most kids today see it as a punishment to get kicked outside though. A cut in allowance or a financial compensation if the kid has a job is something they understand. Funny enough much like the real world money has the final word.

There are so many things wrong with fysical punsihment towards kids i don´t know where to begin.
Fortunally you go to jail for it where i live. And if i see you spank a kid, im gonna call social sevices on you´re ass soooooo fast.
Sry for gramma.

There are already topics about spanking vs other punishments, lets try to stay on topic.

And you contribution to the thread is what?

My contribution would be the OP, so take that

I always thought that when you were a kid you got spanked and when you were a teen you got grounded that's how it was for me anyways.

Now that we are on the third page it seems some of you are getting lazy and not reading the original post OR the poll. Then you would know what was going on.

No I read the op and the thread and answered the poll but this hole thing has been derailed so I figured I add my two cents in to the new topic.

Fair enough, but we have had plenty of debates like that, I would like us to stay on-topic if possible.

well, if you want people to stay on topic, maybe the topic should have been a bit more interesting and not so narrow.

It smells like badgefishing from a mile away.

What is the topic? what is the dabete value in this if you won´t let the contributers state their point of weiw? Again i ask, what´s you´re contribution?

 

[llew]

@pat34us

Did that teach you anything about why stealing is wrong?
Moral acting because of fear of punishment is one of the lowest forms of moral acting.
I would not want to raise my kids to that.

but at the end of the day it teaches them to do the right thing, even if its for the wrong reasons, would you rather someone didnt beat you up because they were afraid of the consequences than beat you up because they thought there were'nt any?

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

I was never grounded once. Never spanked either. I was a good kid. But I'm into BDSM... so this website is kinda interesting...

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

Physical punishment when employed should be greatly restrained, used only in times where there is little to no other option and therefore where it would get the point across most effectively, and be accompanied by logical reasoning for doing it and resolving the situation afterwards to maintain the integrity of the relationship. I look back on some of the corporal punishment and to this day don't understand how what I did wrong to the extreme that warranted that action. In cases where I can safely say I learned nothing, and was left confused and hurt, I was not enriched as a person.

Grounding was almost never employed as far as my memory serves, it rarely lasted the course when it was.

Children aren't animals, they soon become receptive to morality, recognition of the wrong, and are extremely susceptive to learning. Badly behaved children are often the result of weak willed parents, poor treatment, or psychological disability (ADHD etc...).

I'm sure people here at the escapist when forced to use public transport are subject to the theatre of humanity and the players that preform the inept parents with such gravitas and elucidate the errors made by so many other parents. An example of this I saw recently was an elderly women beating a young boy (around the age of 3) for laughing with a girl who was slightly younger. I cannot fathom what he learned from this. To repress happiness and reject mirth? To embrace a bitter and distasteful world view? Yet more examples spring to mind, the foul women in their mid 20s who extrude vile mannerisms, a disgutsing lack of social grace, disdain for acedemia and use the English language like their own personal cesspit. How they are even allowed to retain their children is beyond me, but they clearly show abolsutely no ability to do so, often chastising them for asking simple questions, having the gall to draw on the steamed up window, and hitting them for standing without explaination. This all really pisses me off...

This was certainly not an attack on women or mothers, the fathers of these children tend to be so egotistic, introverted and ill tempered it is better they are not exposed to their children.

Thinking about it, I really don't like the people from where I live...

 

[Mr.Napier]

I thought this was going to be about which on we think is the better method. I was wrong and thinking about it if a kid asked to be spanked instead of grounded, therapy might be worth looking into.

 

[Terminate421]

I grew up with spankings my sister did not. I turned out fine, my sister (Despite being in 6th grade), won't learn to stop doing something when we tell her to.

Spank only when necessary and Ground whenever one just doesn't get it.

 

[pat34us]

Both are absolutely retarded punishments and any parent who has even a remote understanding of basic education mechanics won't apply them.

A punishment that does not require a child to understand the reason it is punished for, isn't worth anything.

You are spot on.

Spanking is nothing more than violence and groundings today are a joke considering the internet, cable, console and all that other crap we as parent buy to our kids. Most kids today see it as a punishment to get kicked outside though. A cut in allowance or a financial compensation if the kid has a job is something they understand. Funny enough much like the real world money has the final word.

There are so many things wrong with fysical punsihment towards kids i don´t know where to begin.
Fortunally you go to jail for it where i live. And if i see you spank a kid, im gonna call social sevices on you´re ass soooooo fast.
Sry for gramma.

There are already topics about spanking vs other punishments, lets try to stay on topic.

And you contribution to the thread is what?

My contribution would be the OP, so take that

I always thought that when you were a kid you got spanked and when you were a teen you got grounded that's how it was for me anyways.

Now that we are on the third page it seems some of you are getting lazy and not reading the original post OR the poll. Then you would know what was going on.

No I read the op and the thread and answered the poll but this hole thing has been derailed so I figured I add my two cents in to the new topic.

Fair enough, but we have had plenty of debates like that, I would like us to stay on-topic if possible.

well, if you want people to stay on topic, maybe the topic should have been a bit more interesting and not so narrow.

It smells like badgefishing from a mile away.

What is the topic? what is the dabete value in this if you won´t let the contributers state their point of weiw? Again i ask, what´s you´re contribution?

I don't mind if you guys want to post your opinion but there are people who are posting long replies that don't even come close to the origonal question. Then you have people stating that both options are stuipid, which was not the point.

But you are right I should be happy with 100+ responses which I did not expect, so thank you everyone I will use some of this stuff in my debate.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

My mom used to make me write letters on why I was wrong, and she was infallible.

Nothing like getting your punishment ideas from How to Build an Orwellian Society!

That's not to say I didn't receive beatings, too.
I think anyone who knows me well enough will know my relationship with my mom is- strained.

 

[SkyeNeko]

grounding. they always forgot. then again, i never got grounded when i was a kid. always spankings ><

 

[viranimus]

Under normal circumstances I could be coaxed in having alot of thoughts on this subject. However I will simply say that In my situation I would have begged for a grounding over a spanking any day as acts of violence in the form of punishment more often than not would push the boundries of normal human thresholds of pain.

I remember seeing ...



for the first time and thinking, my god what a pussy.

 

[lacktheknack]

I got spanked alot, never grounded.

Then, at age nine, I finally figured it out and stopped being a brat. The spankings stopped.

I'd MUCH rather get spanked than grounded, though.

 

[Comma-Kazie]

Is it too much to do both? It was my experience that both were involved.

My experience too, and I'm better off for it.

 

[Ldude893]

I was neither grounded or spanked once in my life. Taking away my computer privileges was enough to keep me in line.

 

[DarkhoIlow]

I was as well neither grounded nor spanked ever.

 

[pat34us]

Bump to the front for the people who missed it.