Poll: Staying friends with an ex

[Vern5]

It's a simple series of questions, really. Are you friends with an exgirlfriend or exboyfriend? When you answer the poll, only answer yes if you are currently friends with an ex of yours. If you were friends with an ex but now you both don't talk or anything like that then please choose the no-ish answer.

Now, if you are friends with your ex, why are you still friends with them? Personally, it doesn't work for me because seeing someone immediately reminds me of everything I've said or felt about that person; there is no forgetting. So how is it even possible to stay friends?

Or maybe you don't stay friends with your ex's and you feel as I do?

Answer and be opinionated.

 

[Dirty Apple]

I know people who can stay friendly with their ex's, but it just feels awkward and uncomfortable to me. I'm afraid that I've never had a friendship survive a break-up.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Technically no, I guess. I'm on good terms with two of them, but I never talk to them. I'm hoping to be friends with my most recent one eventually.

But I feel like the closer the relationship, the tougher it would be. Especially with lingering sexual tension. Which is why it'll be tough for me to be friends with my most recent one >_<

 

[ripdajacker]

Friends with benefits with an ex. It sometimes gets emotional, but you can always get home and ignore her without getting a guilt trip

As for the question: It certainly depends on if either of you can handle it. If you can let your best friend shag her without being jealous, then go for it, otherwise it might get messy.

 

[Tanakh]

Now, if you are friends with your ex, why are you still friends with them? Personally, it doesn't work for me because seeing someone immediately reminds me of everything I've said or felt about that person; there is no forgetting. So how is it even possible to stay friends?

Of course there is no forgetting and it can be complicated sometimes. But there is one girl that i really like to hang out, and even if things didn't worked, still enjoy her company from time to time.

Only one problem to do that, you need to be very disciplined and never allow yourself to even want her again. Rebuild the relationship and do stuff like you would with a male friend.

But that's just one, for the most part to heck with it, not worth the effort.

 

[Shadu]

I only have one ex and we were always more friends than anything else. Even when we were together. We basically just dropped the title and stayed the way we were.

And it was a mutual thing too. Neither one of us made the choice alone.

 

[Commissar Sae]

Haven't seen her in a while but yeah we are on good terms. It was a high school romance so we noth pretty much put it behind us but are able to spend te together and enjoy each others company. She's engaged now and I'm happy with my girlfriend so theres no reason things should be ackward. Well that and we were friends before too so that helps.

 

[Hitokiri_Gensai]

i have stayed friends with ex's but you know, universally, its come back to bite my in the ass and then laugh in my face. We girls suck! xD

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

depends, especially with how involved i was with them.

for the most part, yeah i stay friends with all of them, more then likely we worked just find on the friend level before we kicked it up a notch.

granted i don't talk alot with most of my ex's, we are just acquaintances mostly...

for the most part i just replace all the memories of us dating with new ones where we are having good times as just friends.

time heals all basically.

 

[Biosophilogical]

I've never been in this situation, so to speak. But I think a lot of the problem is that people make it awkward. It's like hanging out with someone you dislike[footnote]Maybe you have to work with them for an assignment, or s/he's dating your sibling[/footnote]: it is only awkward if one (or both) of you make it awkward.

I'd imagine that in a romantic relationship (or the charred remains of one), the feelings are so powerful, that it can be a lot harder (or impossible) to put them on the back-burner, and seeing as you are trying to be friends, the similarity of the relationship makes it harder to separate the two (as opposed to socialising with an enemy, where it is really easy to distinguish between the relationships).

So it is still about the participants making it awkward, but it isn't their fault that they are ... does that make sense?

 

[Akytalusia]

i maintained amicable relations with my ex. we don't talk at all anymore, but there was never any open animosity.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

Yeah, a few of them. Others, though...no. The less I talk to them, the better I do. But others I'm quite friendly with, after a brief awkwardness period.

 

[Chemical Alia]

No. I only have one ex, and he refused to speak to me from the moment we were no longer dating. We were in the army, and he had gone to Texas for training earlier than me from language school since his language was a shorter program than mine, so there was some distance at the time. I've never spoken to him since in ten years, but I certainly would have been fine with remaining friends.

My current boyfriend is also of the opinion of totally writing someone off when you break up with them because he believe it will lead to drama and horror. I don't feel this way, and some things about that stance make me feel uncomfortable.

 

[viranimus]

I think it is possible to leave on amiable terms, but staying friends is impractical. Too often theres only one half who wants to truly be friends, and the other half is hoping to get back to gether.

Least that has been my exp on it.

 

[-Samurai-]

My ex is my best friend. We're closer now than we ever were over the 2 years we dated and lived together.

We had problems, things blew up and got really ugly. We didn't speak for a few months, but the next time we did, we laid everything out on the table and realized that a relationship wouldn't work between us.

I don't have those feelings for her anymore, and she doesn't have them for me. She's actually engaged now.

At the time, 7 years(10 now) seemed like a lot to throw away over a failed relationship. We maintained an extremely strong bond, and I can't imagine life without her.

I guess the reason we're still friends is because it's easy. It never got awkward and it never felt weird. There was never a time in which one of us still wanted to be with the other, but they felt the opposite. I can't see any problem we can't get through. Being friends with her just works.

 

[WeAreStevo]

It seems like a good idea at first. You know, you spend so much time together, know eachother well, yadda yadda yadda

But then you start seeing someone. Or she does. THEN things get awkward.

I don't know, could be just me, but the only ex I had who I could stay friends with began to stalk me once my fiance and I started dating. That ended quickly.

So yea, I vote no. People are crazy, and you can always make new friends

 

[funksobeefy]

there is no forgetting. So how is it even possible to stay friends?

Should there be forgetting? Can there be forgiving?

 

[Draconalis]

I married my ex-girlfriend, but only because two days after we broke up to "stay friends" I demanded she take me back, or we call it quits.

 

[Draitheryn]

Your poll sucks, don't have one of the answer as an extreme. Short answer is no, but only because we intended to stay friends but just lost touch, not some "to hell with that" type answer.

 

[OisinDeBrun]

certin benifits to being friends dudes.. no harm sometimes... SOMETIMES being a key word