Poll: Striking a woman

[Milanezi]

I think it was a good thing to intervine, as for hitting her given the context its ok

I don't know why she was attacking you but she probably was pissed somone took out her boyfreind..even if he was an ass

THAT

But you should have called the authorities instead, if shit happens (like, what if the asshole hits his head on the floor and fucking dies) you could get in a whole lot of (legal) trouble.

As for the girls behavior, some chicks out there have sadly settled to do "anything for their men", even if that includes getting beat. Sometimes I believe that both are auto-destructive or something, he doesn't love her obviously, and she doesn't care... Of course, that's based on the culture I live, that's Brazilian culture which, in matters of "relationship" is pretty much like USA and westerner culture in general...

I once saw a couple going into fists against each other, I was in California, at the Desert Inn (Anaheim), it was late at night and I heard some loud talking, didn't sound like english nor spanish, but then again sometimes it's hard to understand when people start barking... I peeked to through the window to make sure it WAS a fight and not a "drunken loud couple" and then I also heard a kid crying, their kid, that's when I picked the phone and dialed for the clerk, he immediately came and threatened to call the cops, the man left right away, and next morning so did the woman and the child...

 

[Killclaw Kilrathi]

1: "What level of violence is acceptable when defending yourself from someone who is physically less strong than you, regardless of gender?"
a: Someone should bear the consequences of their own actions, regardless of their physical prowess, so no special consideration should be given to the weaker attacker.
b: The physically stronger person should not use their full strength (as of yet unquantified) against the weaker attacker.


2: "Is it more or less acceptable for one gender to defend themselves from the other gender, regardless of physical strength?"
a: Both genders should be equally accountable for their own actions.
b: Women should be granted (an as of yet unquantified) degree of privilige to attack men without retalliation.
c: Men should be granted (an as of yet unquantified) degree of privilige to attack women without retalliation.


edit:
Of course, the questions should be answered by men and women seperately.

I'll answer these as someone who is familiar with the relevant laws here in Australia, so my answers should be legally relevant to my own country.

1. When defending yourself, you are allowed to use "reasonable force" to resolve the situation. What constitutes reasonable force is decided on a case by case basis and is generally determined by the amount of force being used by the attacker, but considerable differences in strength IS one of the considerations a court will take on board. So this would technically be answered b), because if you're a large person with a lot of muscle and some short, scrawny guy is attacking you the amount of strength you need to use reasonable force will be lower. Though to add to this, it's almost never a good idea to use your full strength against someone unless they're trying to kill you; if someone starts a drunken slugging match with you and you brain them with your fist you're likely to end up in prison for manslaughter.

2. This one is very easily answered as a). There is no law anywhere that gives women aggressors more privilege in a hostile situation. The only caveat is, again, that you can only use reasonable force to defend yourself, so just don't go flying off the handle and you should be fine.

The general rule of thumb in both cases is to ask yourself if you could convince a jury that they would have done the same thing in your shoes. If you can honestly answer yes, chances are it will be considered legitimate self defense.

 

[King of Asgaard]

I'll answer your question with an antiquated saying:
"A woman, a horse, and a hickory tree. The more you beat 'em the better they be."

But in all seriousness, only with a justifiable reason would hitting a women, or anyone really, be acceptable.

 

[The Tibballs]

I personally don't give a crap who you are or what gender you are, if you threaten or attack me I will defend myself and that comes mostly from the fact I was bullied/beaten up by both males and females when I was younger because of my small size. (when I started high school I was 125cm tall and weighted 25kg, that's about 4' 1" and 55 pounds)

 

[BarbaricGoose]

Then he attempted to punch me, I counterattacked him with 3 hit combo that left him on the ground gasping for air.

I'm just screwin' with ya. But to answer your question, you were justified. Personally, I don't hit anyone unless there's imminent physical danger coming towards me. Man or woman, makes no difference to me. Although if I had a hit to a woman, I might hold back a bit.

 

[Kakistos153]

Yeah, you were right to intervene. But there is a really fucked up dynamic in abusive relationships though. I don't understand it, I could never see myself tolerating it, but its something that exists. This isn't the first story i've heard like this.

In ireland members of the traveling community are very active in what are called "markets" where they sell shitty cheap clothes and toys and stuff on top of the stall and tobacco and booze under the stall. A friend of my dads used to work these markets (not a traveler) and he told us about an incident like this one day. A traveler was literally kicking his girlfriend on the ground. Now I don't really want to generalise because i would like to get over some of my cultural prejudices against the traveling community. but these women are cut from a completely different fucking cloth. they are tough, much more repressed than other modern women, but they are hard as fucking nails.

Well anyways. this guy is kicking his girlfriend/wife on the ground in the middle of this market and everyone just kinda ignored it (all too often the case when horrible things are happening), but my dads friend went over just to perhaps try to calm the situation a bit at least. to at least do something, he came over, much the same as the OP and was like "what the fuck? do you maybe want to calm down a little bit?" and the GIRL on the ground started shouting at him to fuck off and mind his own business and calling him a **** and a piece of shit and everything else under the sun.

So yeah, there's a lot of weird shit that goes on in psychologically and physically abusive relationships like these. Its very rarely like "sleeping with the enemy" and quite typically like "when harry met sally", but behind closed doors harry beats sally with a bicycle chain obviously.

 

[Zenn3k]

If she hits me, yes, I'm going to strike her back...I don't care who it is.

Otherwise, no, just like ANYBODY else...no hits. Not cause she's a women, but because you shouldn't hit people unless they really really deserve it

 

[Bertylicious]

Violence is for pussies.

 

[The_Echo]

If you're willing to hit a man, you should be willing to hit a woman. That's part of the whole equality thing.

Of course, fists are better replaced with words. But sometimes it just can't be helped, as in OP's situation.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

I think a man should under no circumstance hit a woman unless (as exactly the scenario you described) she gets physical and will not stop. If a woman straight up attacks you, defending yourself is acceptable.

 

[axlryder]

No one should be held in contempt for defending themselves within reason, and everyone should be held equally in contempt for being a physical aggressor. Ultimately, not taking into account any other factors, I'm more likely to be empathetic towards the person who was clearly at a physical disadvantage, regardless of their gender.

 

[Broax]

I'm against violence in principle but I see no reason for one not to hit a girl. The thing is, I'm not too keen on giving the first punch as I'd rather avoid violence. If someone pulls you to a fight you should be able to react in the same way you would to a guy. If he/she don't want violent actions against them then they shouldn't be violent.

Example: When I was a kid I went to this horrible school. Every now and then someone decided to bully me and eventually I would fight back and they would stop (Most of the times I got my ass kicked but they found it was easier to pick on kids who wouldn't find back). I remember this one time where I got bullied by a girl. She was just some horrible white trash b*** that called me names every time she saw me, she threw cans to me, etc. One day she threw something that hurt me (a pencil case or something) in class, I got up slapped her twice and left the class. On recess her boyfriend, brothers, cousins, friends, etc came to kick my ass. I told them what happen and they left me alone.

I have no regrets. If she didn't want violence against her, she shouldn't be violent against me...

 

[Icehearted]

This again?

Notice how most men that talk about hitting any woman with reservation, such as open palm only, talk as if disciplining a child. As sexist as this thread already is against men (because obviously as the title implies hitting men is acceptable and therefore not a matter for discussion), that in turn is a sexist and infantilizing viewpoint on women.

By the way, most domestic violence between heterosexual couples is perpetrated against men by women and then by a wide WIDE margin, and then also mostly non-reciprocal, and then, by admission of women questioned on the matter, usually admittedly a form of abuse. Statistically men are far less likely to hit women, and often if that happens it will be a reported crime.

Yes and no.

Yes in the sense that it's just as right to hit a woman as it is to hit a man.

No in the sense that it's not really "right" to hit anyone.

The best and only answer as far as I'm concerned.

 

[trollnystan]

I'm not sure what I should vote. In my opinion one shouldn't hit ANYONE, regardless of gender, unless in self-defence or in defence of someone else's life.

However, you said she was hysterical, so if all you did was slap her to snap her out of it, and to stop her hurting you... then yeah, I think you're in the clear in my books.

 

[mattttherman3]

Well, if someone comes at you with a knife, you gotta defend yourself, you feel me? Or if she's trying to stab someone else, you feel me? That's pretty much it, you feel me?

 

[Sly Skater Man]

No one should really get a freebie to just smack at someone just "because they're a female" still as it's been stated their has to be a fine line between a simple smack like you did to bring her back to reality and just beating the living daylights out of her, because that's just way too far.

 

[Brad Calkins]

Okay, those two were psychos, and I should know, I've spent time on the Bay 12 forums.

 

[Catrixa]

Honestly, I think hitting anyone to get them to stop hitting you is probably about the best you're going to get, depending on the circumstances (diplomacy has failed, attempts to remove yourself from their vicinity have failed, attempts to restrain them have failed, authority is nowhere nearby to summon, etc.). That said, I can't get on board with the open-hand put-her-back-in-her-place slap. A lot of people on here seem pretty chill with the whole "be nice, but be firm, so she knows what she did was wrong"-stance, and that sounds like "women need to understand their place in life, and, while you shouldn't punish them with physical violence immediately, if it boils down to that, hit them so they'll learn" to me. Which sounds like dog training.

Honestly, if you're willing to take out people who are hurting you, regardless of how strong they are (it doesn't sound like the boyfriend really put up much of a fight before having a sidewalk sandwich), it shouldn't matter what gender they are, either. Besides, if someone is threatening your safety, and you are worried about that enough to engage in physical violence with them, I'd recommend taking every opponent seriously, unless you live in an gun/concealed carry-free area.

 

[afroebob]

If a girl hits me I'll hit her back. Once she no longer poses a threat than I'm done.

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

If OP's story happened that way, then he has nothing to feel bad about. Though it's my understanding that martial art involves subduing the assailant to avoid actual violence if possible. In the heat of the moment though, I could see losing your cool and giving a slap.

I remember the day I understood true equality regarding this. I had a girlfriend in high school who decided spontaneously that she wanted to box. I was gentle, not wanting to hurt her and pretty much playing around, and she socked me real good. So it turned into Holyfield vs. Tyson, with a bloody nose and a black eye. We had a laugh and it was a great day, I'll never forget it. So yeah, I see genders less since then, just people, humans.