Previously on the Escapist:
[User]MaxTheReaper[/User]: I appreciate you taking me out on this whale nuking expedition but I have to ask; what do you have against the whales anyway?
[User]NeonBob[/User]: During the cold war there was a program that strapped nukes to whales hoping to use them against the Soviet Navy (Souplex's notes: There really was)one of these whales drifted off course and hit a yacht containing my wife, parents and unborn child. I swore the most epic Vendetta possible. Now why are you here?
MaxTheReaper: All good things in time Bob, and some bad ones too! Muahahaha!
Neonbob: Sounds fun.
[User]xmetatr0nx[/User]: A dame walked into my office. She wore one of those outfits that was probably meant to convey a sense of modesty but damn if it didn't hug her figure right.
[User]Geek@Heart[/User] You really need to stop this film noir nonsense, it is getting silly!
MaxTheReaper: I see it!
NeonBob: Ready the Nuke!
Whale: Stop; if you kill me- (Translated from whale)
Neonbob: For NeonBridgette!
Whale: Oh my- *Explosion*
NeonBob: It's over.
MaxTheReaper: Not quite... Muahahaha!
[User]Suiseiseki IRL[/User]: Did you hear that?!
[User]Bored Tomatoe[/User]: I didn't hear anything.
Suiseiseki IRL: That is because it's a ninja, run!
MaxTheReaper: Ah; Soupie, I was wondering when you would arrive.
[User]Souplex[/User]: I came as soon as I could, I sensed a disturbance in the Chutzpa as if something really awesome is aboot ta' happen.
NeonBob: Well it was probably the atomic explosion you just missed.
Souplex: No, this is far more awesome than a mere atomic explosion.
MaxTheReaper: You are exactly right Soupie! Tell me; do you know why the gods held their tournament?
Souplex: Because they are messed up and do things like bone their siblings, turn into animals to cheat on their spouses and blow each other up at the drop of a hat?
MaxTheReaper: No, they did it because they knew that if they had to share dominion over the universe none of them would be powerful enough to oppose Athe.
NeonBob: Athe?
MaxTheReaper: The god of Atheism, it is nothing and yet everything. It consumes other gods and adds their power to it's own, if it were allowed to run rampant it would consume the universe!
Souplex: I still say it is just cause the gods are messed up.
MaxTheReaper: Shut up! Knowing something might go wrong with their tournaments the gods entrusted the whales to guard Athe's seal, and with them all dead I shall be the instrument of Athe's will! If you hadn't meddled with the tournament the gods would have been able to oppose Athe, but now nothing can stop me! *Dramatically rises into the air as evilness gathers around him*
[User]RavingPenguin[/User]: Sir; you can't go in there!
[User]Flying-Emu[/User]: I need to speak with the pilot immediately!
[User]megapenguinX[/User]: Why do you need to speak to me exactly?.
Flying-Emu: Oh no; Penguins can't fly!
*Plane crashes*
Latin choir: Athe, Ieiunium, Iuguolo, Interfico, Nex, Attero, Edo, Maculo, Trunco, Depopulo, Trucido, Perussi Athe!
MaxTheReaper: A Latin choir? But I wanted Latin rhythm. Where is Tito Puente when you need him?
UltraJoe: This has gone on long enough Max!
MaxTheReaper: Ah Joe, I was wondering when you would take notice of this, but I no longer fear the mods.
UltraJoe: You are right; it would take some serious heat to harm you luckily... *Pulls out a mini-gun born from Rob Leifelds darkest nightmares featuring thousands of barrels all primed to fire* I am packing heat like a supernova! *Fires a torrent of bullets at Max*
*Dramatic tension*
*Smoke begins to clear*
*Even more Dramatic tension*
MaxTheReaper: Not enough gun. *Blasts Joe away*
*Various Escapists begin assaulting Max and getting knocked away effortlessly*
[User]xxhazyshadowsxx[/User]: Get up; you have to fight it!
[User]NoMoreSanity[/User]: Kid, I am not in any kind of shape to be stopping any ancient superbeings bent on total annihilation.
xxhazyshadowsxx: But without your help there is no way I can beat it!
NoMoreSanity: Kid, you and me we fight with the same stuff: Taxpayer dollars, American pride and the sweat of an honest days work! Now go out there and make me proud!
xxhazyshadowsxx: I'll do my best sir! *Leaps into the fray*
[User]Fightgarr[/User]: They need your help you know, without you they have no chance.
[User]ChromeAlchemist[/User]: I have detached myself from this conflict and I refuse to let it embroil this forum in war.
Fightgarr: If you don't then this will end badly.
ChromeAlchemist: It does not affect me.
Fightgarr: Are you really so different from them?
ChromeAlchemist: Very well then. *Dramatically walks towards the fray*
SharPhoe: Joe are you all right?
UltraJoe: I am not enough to stop him; he's too powerful!
SharPhoe: He needs to be stopped or we are all doomed!
UltraJoe: You don't get it; I can't stop him! I am not as awesome as you thing I am, I am not as awesome as anyone thinks I am! I am just an average Joe!
SharPhoe: If you don't stop him who will?
UltraJoe: *Sighs* Very well, where did my helmet land?
*The Escapists all line up as they would right before charging into battle in the climax of a really awesome movie*
Souplex: All right Max; no more do overs, no more to be continueds, it is time we finally had the final battle! for the last time!
MaxTheReaper: I am going to enjoy killing you Soupie.
And now the thrilling conclusion!
