Poll: The interaction between Relationship Partners

[DrgoFx]

WHEW! RELATIONSHIPS! YEAH!

So going into a massive discussion with a few friends of mine, I was curious what the Escapist had to say about the matter. What is your opinion on the interaction between two people in a relationship? This specifically is referring to the roles of Dominance and Submissive outside of the bedroom.

For example, I have the strong belief that outside of the bedroom, there should be no dominance in the relationship, but rather both parties taking stepping forward when they need to. I see a relationship as two people working together, and not one taking control. Because of this, one of my main requirements in a partner is for them to be more-or-less independent, or at least capable of holding their own weight.

On the other hand, one of my friends could never take charge in any situation she's given, putting her in the submissive spot in the relationship and being more content in following her partner. I don't think that's wrong, but I personally don't want to drag someone with me, or be dragged myself.

So that's the basic question here, Escapist, what role do you find yourself in, or what kind of relationship would you prefer, I guess?

 

[SomeLameStuff]

I'm not much of a relationship person, but if I was, probably co-operative, considering all my childhood problems stemmed from me just following what people told me, resulting in a final breaking point where I snapped and went ax-crazy and put a few people in the hospital...

So yeah, I'm not the submissive type.

 

[Phasmal]

Co-operative I guess, but me and my boyfriend both have kind of dominant personalities. There isn't really a submissive person in our relationship.
I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not a person who can be submissive and I'd get pissed off if I had to make all the decisions.
Of course, it can be difficult sometimes because we are both stubborn as hell, but we make it work.

 

[Sebass]

Personally: yes, for me a relationship should be cooperative. I'm someone who is neither dominant nor submissive so it comes naturally for me.

However, there are people with all types of personalities and I believe that a relationship with 1 dominant and 1 submissive partner can be succesfull. Both parties feel comfortable in their roles because it allows them to be who they are.

 

[Keoul]

Whichever one they are most comfortable in.
Some like to cruise through life, having a partner that'll do all the meticulous planning would be a dream for them, and if that partner doesn't mind, bonus points!

Do not I mean what's most comfortable for the both of them, if one prefers to be in charge while the other prefers to be "submissive" as you put it (other's could say they're just being very co-operative) then all the more power to em. There is no right and wrong clear cut answer since it'll be different for each couple.

I personally prefer when we work together like a team, makes me feel more connected to em ya know?

 

[Girl With One Eye]

I think I am the dominant one, but not because I choose to but just that he prefers me to make all the decisions. Of course I always ask for his input but I think he prefers to be more laid back whereas I like to plan everything.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Once again... I'm not exactly the best template for inter-personal dynamic in a romantic relationship, because the one long-lasting relationship I had was years of both of us struggling to be the more submissive (except sexual, when neither of us cared because we're both sado-masochists)... :/

 

[Fuzzed]

If I remember correctly the last relationship I was in I played an extremely submissive character who sat on the couch all day playing video games. That relationship didn't last long.

 

[Spinozaad]

A relationship should be based on equality. The way this implicit equality manifests itself is otherwise irrelevant.

 

[Lieju]

Co-operative.

That being said, there might be areas where I'm more inclined to take the lead, and areas where I wouldn't, because I don't care.

 

[Aris Khandr]

I'm naturally submissive, but most of the people I end up with tend to be, too. So I tend to take the dominant role, because I want them to be happy.

I really suck at it, though. I'm just not that good at telling people I love what to do, even if they love it.

 

[smithy_2045]

Ha, relationship. I wouldn't mind having one of them one day.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I play co-op with my girlfriend. I'm sure most people will say co-op, anything else seems a bit harsh. Not that it HAS to be harsh but it sounds harsh.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

My GF and I are co-operative.

Neither of us is the leader all the time. We tend to switch back and forth.

Some months I'm the one planning the dates and stuff. Other months, she is. I think it works well. Whenever one of use gets tired of planning stuff, the other one takes over.

 

[Erttheking]

Dominant, but she has a safe word so she won't get...oh...shit we weren't talking about that were we?

 

[manic_depressive13]

Well I'm not dominant and I'm not submissive... but we're not co-operative either. Co-operation implies working together towards some sort of goal. My boyfriend and I just sort of hang around and enjoy each other's company. Honestly I can't remember ever doing anything that would require one person to take charge. We're not in the army.

 

[Rascarin]

I voted co-op, but its probably more a cross between co-op and dominant. I don't completely override my partner, but most of the decisions are mine. We both acknowledge that i "wear the pants" in our relationship.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I like to think I had a co-operative role in all my relationships, but to be honest, I was probably submissive. I'm very laid back so I'm ok to go along with most things, it's not like I was saying 'forget about what I want, we'll do what you want', I just wasn't too bothered most of the time. If it was something I actually cared about I would say something, but unless that was going to see an awful film or something like that then I'm not going to make unnecessary fuss.