Poll: The Vent Section!

[FPLOON]

Heroes Reborn fucking sucks. It's awful. It's poor. It's just God damn bad. I am torture watching this and I need to stop.

I am an idiot.

I choose to watch that show's finale over the premiere of Legends of Tomorrow... Damn my reasoning for watching things to their conclusion live without DVR support!

OT: Physically: Yes...
Mentally: No...

Basically, I don't vent internally, but externally... However, if I'm venting externally, then internally I'm as chill as a stoner on their third hit... So, it metaphorically turns into two exes planning to have revenge sex with each other and they both talked about it beforehand...

Other than that, this thread reminded me of the time I said <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/18.846696.20879920>this in these forums... I mean, sure, it finally got better by last week after almost "dying" from a gravity-based concussion, but it really should not have taken this long to make the overall situation better for her... It's like the last reunion meant nothing to anyone [in my family] living up in Northern California...

 

[Darthpathfinder]

Let's just say I was criticized over a decision I made, without said person not knowing all the facts of what exactly occured. And why I saw the decision I made as the best most viable option considering the situation I found myself in.

I have no regrets what happened, and truly was blessed with a learning experience that was not looked down upon by a significant amount of people. I was even commended of how I handled the work situation with the help of some others. But someone did not feel the same and made it known, without giving me a chance to speak. So I was hurt by not being allowed to speak. And while I handled the criticism fairly well by maintaining a good Christ like composure. I guess I have to learn now how to be at peace with someone who doesn't give you an opportunity to speak. And who made some bad judgement calls based on false information.

I hate it when people cut others off or do not let them speak at all....

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

(Snip).

So there's basically no reason to continue with it. Time and money down the drain; whoever is responsible for that system should be sacked and all affected students' money refunded.

OT: When I started this college course, I thought it would be a new chapter and maybe even an unprecedented series of successes, since here I was finally doing what it seemed I always wanted to do all along and never got around to. Now we're however many weeks into the second 'block', two weeks from our assessments, and the change is remarkable. In a matter of months, I've gone from being at one of the happiest points in my life to only showing up when I can be bothered to humour my lecturers and fill in hours in the timetable. Whether I'm at college or at home, I spend most of my time on this site, and a lot of my enthusiasm for even this has bled away. I am on course toward becoming some cynical person who despises what they do. I rarely look forward to receiving correspondences and no longer smile at my family in conversation unless I have sugary food in my system. I don't know whether this is the result of some sort of undiagnosed seasonal depressive disorder, spending too much time in multiple dysfunctional atmospheres, college staff incompetence or all of the above, but I'm a short while away from failing my course and I feel nothing about it.

There. That's what I don't like.

That comment about sugar makes me wonder if you are eating right. It wouldnt be unusual for a college guy to have a shitty diet but I think of my mother who is the eternal dieter wanting to be thin with eating disorders, and how depressed and tired she can get when she doesnt eat, its amazing how fast a chocolate can pick her up when shes like that, but it isnt the taste, its the calories.

My mother was actually diagnosed as pre-diabetic, maybe you have some diabetes stuff going on and are attributing it to school but correlation/causation and all that. But what do I know, im just reading into one sentance on the internet.


Anyway I am really pissed at my Uncle. Hes basically the epitome of toxic masculinity and thinks your worth as a man is measured in how many chicks you've banged and I am still a virgin so hes always either mocking me or lecturing me about it. I know its a problem that I have never had a relationship but I am working on it and to be fair for a long time I was morbidly obese (doesnt stop you but the confidence hit can) and I have ADD which gives me social problems.. I have decided Im not taking his shit anymore but going by the past events standing up to him might cause a rift between my nuclear family and my grandparents, aunts/uncles on my fathers side. I dont want that.

 

[Darthpathfinder]

(Snip).

So there's basically no reason to continue with it. Time and money down the drain; whoever is responsible for that system should be sacked and all affected students' money refunded.

OT: When I started this college course, I thought it would be a new chapter and maybe even an unprecedented series of successes, since here I was finally doing what it seemed I always wanted to do all along and never got around to. Now we're however many weeks into the second 'block', two weeks from our assessments, and the change is remarkable. In a matter of months, I've gone from being at one of the happiest points in my life to only showing up when I can be bothered to humour my lecturers and fill in hours in the timetable. Whether I'm at college or at home, I spend most of my time on this site, and a lot of my enthusiasm for even this has bled away. I am on course toward becoming some cynical person who despises what they do. I rarely look forward to receiving correspondences and no longer smile at my family in conversation unless I have sugary food in my system. I don't know whether this is the result of some sort of undiagnosed seasonal depressive disorder, spending too much time in multiple dysfunctional atmospheres, college staff incompetence or all of the above, but I'm a short while away from failing my course and I feel nothing about it.

There. That's what I don't like.

That comment about sugar makes me wonder if you are eating right. It wouldnt be unusual for a college guy to have a shitty diet but I think of my mother who is the eternal dieter wanting to be thin with eating disorders, and how depressed and tired she can get when she doesnt eat, its amazing how fast a chocolate can pick her up when shes like that, but it isnt the taste, its the calories.

My mother was actually diagnosed as pre-diabetic, maybe you have some diabetes stuff going on and are attributing it to school but correlation/causation and all that. But what do I know, im just reading into one sentance on the internet.


Anyway I am really pissed at my Uncle. Hes basically the epitome of toxic masculinity and thinks your worth as a man is measured in how many chicks you've banged and I am still a virgin so hes always either mocking me or lecturing me about it. I know its a problem that I have never had a relationship but I am working on it and to be fair for a long time I was morbidly obese (doesnt stop you but the confidence hit can) and I have ADD which gives me social problems.. I have decided Im not taking his shit anymore but going by the past events standing up to him might cause a rift between my nuclear family and my grandparents, aunts/uncles on my fathers side. I dont want that.

No the true mark of a man is if he can treat a woman right and be able to grow a kick ass Beard .

 

[JaKandDaxter]

I hate it when people cut others off or do not let them speak at all....

Apperciate the support. And yeah it does suck.

I talked to the person again, and it was apparent they acted without knowing practically everything that happened. I have to conclude that this person, who I have a tremendous amount of respect for. Was acting in anger, based on how much they have been overlooked and walked over in the past. And took their anger out on me.

 

[Hazy]

Customers who refuse to acknowledge you when you say 'hello' or wish them well deserve to catch fire.

Stay out of customer service, kids.

 

[Rip Van Rabbit]

Hmm, now I am going to feel guilty for venting. (That ain't healthy! But fuck it, I am powering through this.)

Context time: Several years ago I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Major Depressive Disorder (Mild Severity -- at the time). I got much worse, slowly got better and actually felt pretty great two years ago. After some relationship drama that slammed self-worth pretty hard, I have been struggling to maintain that positive outlook that I was so happy to finally attain. I know that I am susceptible to depressive states -- that is something I am acutely aware of and I take the necessary steps to alleviate any negative warning signs as they pop up. Anxiety, on the other hand, is more subtle and ingrained in my everyday thought process and perceptual lense.

What bothers me, as a Psychology Graduate, is that I am aware of all of this -- surely I should be able to use the tools and knowledge at my disposal to get rid of these tiring mental obstacles that have plagued me from long before my official diagnosis.
So I am frustrated. Extraordinarily frustrated with the way my body is physiologically reacting to stress while my emotional state fluctuates between existential panic and harsh self-criticism.

...

Taking a step back to look at my external circumstances: I graduated last year via correspondence teaching. I recently completed company-training as a computer technician in a field that is not my passion -- but I was tired of studying and I really wanted to help out my family, even if I hate the job, I thought "Hey, at least I'll learn something new.". So I have achieved, but my "self-critic" won't adequately acknowledge that -- I am always looking ahead, scanning for the next hurdle to overcome, without stopping to congratulate myself.

So here I am, giving the lion's share of my paycheck to my chronically-ill parents on financial pension support, in order to get the necessities & groceries for each month. I think after 4 months of work, I've used my personal savings to go watch a movie (Deadpool -- it was great, by the way) because I keep thinking that there will be some familial emergency. Hell, I felt ridiculously guilty when I wrestled with the thought of going to watch a movie with my friends in the first place.

Social media is a nightmare when presented with the lives of my friends. I see them exploring the world, receiving these wonderful opportunities to freely strike it out on their own & pursuing passions on a whim ---- and rightfully so! They've worked hard for it and I am proud. Yet...I feel that what I am doing is right (Taking care of my parents), but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't like to explore my own passions without a sense of guilt, or to do so freely with the knowledge that my parents will be okay without me for a little while -- financially and emergency-wise.

As implied above, being in this constant hyper-vigilant state of worry is both exhausting and frustrating. So really, I am trying, but I feel miserable as all hell. I would cry, but I wouldn't want to burden anyone else...which is horrible because I shouldn't be isolating myself from friends that could help, yet unconsciously, I am.

Again, I am aware of how nonsensical some of my misaligned feelings and unbalanced thoughts are -- which makes it all the more frustrating.

Even typing all of this was very difficult.

 

[Euryalus]

I was diagnosed with some weird auto immune thing that may or may not get deadly worse... right in my last semester of college. Fucking timing is what upsets me more than anything... which may say weird things about my priorities *shrugs*

Either way I have to write a thesis in between internal bleeding... damnable genetics. XD

 

[Parasondox]

EE. Oh you pile of expensive over priced 4G bullshitters. I am so glad I am not your customer and left when you merged T-Mobile and Orange. You want to over charge my mother on minutes, not warn her about her about going over minutes and NOT HAVING A FUCKING SYSTEM TO CAP MINUTES TO AVOID ISSUES OF A HIGH BILL. That is poor. Worse, your customer service over the phone is poor as hell. Issues aren't sorted fully and a long long wait just to speak to a person. Plus, your sales rep at EE Stores aren't just clueless but target driven to sell things no one needs. Those 4GEE WiFi dongle square shit bit only has 1GB of data? Mis-selling them and refusing to take them back because you miss sold them and your own customer service over the phone told us to send them back to store because they wouldn't have been included in your contract. Basically, store customer service and phone customer service work under different rules. How? Why? Trying to avoid sorting the issue out by saying,

Phone CS: You must go back to the store and sort out the issue.

Store CS: You must call over the phone to sort out the issue.

So no one wished to take responsibility? Then fuck you both!!

God, the more I talk about it, the more I just grow a deep hatred for retail. I work in the sector and often the rules and targets are BULLSHIT!!

 

[Dragonlayer]

First off, I thank you for your sympathetic words, it means a lot to me that I can get this off my chest and actually have someone pay attention.

This whole situation really does boil down to something so simple, and seemingly a matter of common sense, that friendships are supposed to be matters of equality. It feels like I've poured so much time and effort into maintaining this relationship, and I've gotten so little out of it in return; that I should always be available to help them out, to listen to their problems, to entertain them, but nuts to me if I want to talk about something that interests me (good lord does the energy drain if I have to keep propping up a conversation purely for their sake). Moreover, I feel almost trapped by a lingering sense of loyalty to this person that makes me apprehensive about bringing these concerns up, so that I end getting quite bitter about the serious imbalance about this situation but ridiculously, feel too guilty to complain.

Feeling invisible hurts no matter how many times you try to make yourself not be.

This sums it up perfectly.

I wouldn't act like a dick towards a subject like this. I know the internet can be dark and some people are heartless but I don't want anyone to feel what I feel and felt in the past because it's shitty. Loneliness is a psychological killer and not many people realise. I'm touched that I could help in some way. Maybe your friend will finally see how you feel about them ignoring you or maybe not. If you are honest open to them, a heart to heart about how you feel, that should help build something back up again. If none of that works, then it may be time to let go of them no matter how hard it can be, it will have to be done. It's not easy, I know.

I actually managed to get in contact with the person in question recently, again seeing another rather token excuse for not replying to me and I decided enough was enough. I sent them a rather detailed message explaining my concerns and honestly, even if they continue to ignore me I just feel an enormous sense of closure. Either they'll continue to ignore me and I'll know that's the end of that, or they'll try some new limp-wristed apologism and I won't care, or they'll mend their ways (which I feel is extremely unlikely). I can accept the natural end of relationships, I just can't accept being silent over what has been a very one-sided affair.

And again, thanks for listening.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

Not really angry anymore, just... tired acceptance. And not because I stayed up late and woke up early.
Yesterday wasn't a fun day. Admitted defeat after a week of trying to improve at art in self-imposed isolation, during which I only spoke to two people, one of which was my dad. Then I found out my doctor is refusing to give me my prescription when I only have enough pills left for two days, and the soonest he'll see me is in two weeks. And then some other stuff that doesn't need to be aired here, but perfectly topped off the day and made me just not care about things like a sleep schedule anymore.
I was angry about the second thing yesterday. So angry I fixed my phone that hadn't been working properly for over a week. With percussive maintenance. The first thing just made me feel defeated.
Well, that's my venting done. On to ice cream breakfast and other unhealthy things, because no reason not to, really.

 

[Darthpathfinder]

I was diagnosed with some weird auto immune thing that may or may not get deadly worse... right in my last semester of college. Fucking timing is what upsets me more than anything... which may say weird things about my priorities *shrugs*

Either way I have to write a thesis in between internal bleeding... damnable genetics. XD

Some one needs to give DNA a good talking to.

 

[Trunkage]

Uhm... life sucks! Boo?

I don't know, I'm not too angry at anything right now.

Just give it time.......

You have to have faith in humanity... to screw something up

 

[Parasondox]

First off, I thank you for your sympathetic words, it means a lot to me that I can get this off my chest and actually have someone pay attention.

This whole situation really does boil down to something so simple, and seemingly a matter of common sense, that friendships are supposed to be matters of equality. It feels like I've poured so much time and effort into maintaining this relationship, and I've gotten so little out of it in return; that I should always be available to help them out, to listen to their problems, to entertain them, but nuts to me if I want to talk about something that interests me (good lord does the energy drain if I have to keep propping up a conversation purely for their sake). Moreover, I feel almost trapped by a lingering sense of loyalty to this person that makes me apprehensive about bringing these concerns up, so that I end getting quite bitter about the serious imbalance about this situation but ridiculously, feel too guilty to complain.

Feeling invisible hurts no matter how many times you try to make yourself not be.

This sums it up perfectly.

I wouldn't act like a dick towards a subject like this. I know the internet can be dark and some people are heartless but I don't want anyone to feel what I feel and felt in the past because it's shitty. Loneliness is a psychological killer and not many people realise. I'm touched that I could help in some way. Maybe your friend will finally see how you feel about them ignoring you or maybe not. If you are honest open to them, a heart to heart about how you feel, that should help build something back up again. If none of that works, then it may be time to let go of them no matter how hard it can be, it will have to be done. It's not easy, I know.

I actually managed to get in contact with the person in question recently, again seeing another rather token excuse for not replying to me and I decided enough was enough. I sent them a rather detailed message explaining my concerns and honestly, even if they continue to ignore me I just feel an enormous sense of closure. Either they'll continue to ignore me and I'll know that's the end of that, or they'll try some new limp-wristed apologism and I won't care, or they'll mend their ways (which I feel is extremely unlikely). I can accept the natural end of relationships, I just can't accept being silent over what has been a very one-sided affair.

And again, thanks for listening.

Not a problem at all. Also here to lend a helping hand best I can. No matter how crazy if may be.

*takes a scoop of yogurt made from human breast milk*

What? I have a lactation fetish. Big deal. At least it's not a foot fetish. They are the weirdos.

 

[votemarvel]

My area manager keeps slashing the wages budget, which means I can have less people in the kitchen, but will then complain that things aren't getting sent out quickly enough.

The weird thing is that he doesn't seem to grasp that cutting the amount of people I can have in means the others have to stay longer to get all the jobs done, so he saves almost nothing on the wages bill.

Stop cutting the wages and I can have the people in the get the food sent out quickly, get the close done to a higher standard, have happier staff, and all with virtually no difference in the wages bill.

If I didn't have bills to pay I would have told the guy to Foxtrot Oscar by now.

 

[Darthpathfinder]

My area manager keeps slashing the wages budget, which means I can have less people in the kitchen, but will then complain that things aren't getting sent out quickly enough.

The weird thing is that he doesn't seem to grasp that cutting the amount of people I can have in means the others have to stay longer to get all the jobs done, so he saves almost nothing on the wages bill.

Stop cutting the wages and I can have the people in the get the food sent out quickly, get the close done to a higher standard, have happier staff, and all with virtually no difference in the wages bill.

If I didn't have bills to pay I would have told the guy to Foxtrot Oscar by now.

People who are far above the chain seem to lack what it takes to keep said chain strong in the first place .

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

Well I have been playing Darkest Dungeon and moving to the more advanced dungeons, so today alone I've had several moments where I've wanted to murder the entire dev team and their families to boot. The odds stack against you so ludicrously hard even on medium level dungeons it's maddening. One single crit from an enemy can fuck up your entire quest. Traps spring out of fucking nowhere, pouring the stress on. Oh, and anyone who makes a boss that can heal itself can go fuck themselves. And their ugly ass **** wife can do so too. As can their ugly dumbass annoying kids as well.

In other news: The world is going to shit.

- Multiculturalism is a meaningless buzzword yet we're expected to defend and uphold it as some fucking utopia where everyone is equal and no prejudice exists. Really? Tell me about the cultures where rape in marriage is legal. Where women are expected to basically never even speak to other men, never enter the workforce and just pump out babies. Where FGM is a thing. Where antisemitism is rooted in the very tenets of the religion the people believe in. Multiculturalism = multiplicity of cultures = multiple separate cultures = separation of cultures = separation of the people. Multiculturalism is an idea that divides and separates, not a concept that unites. You come in to my country, you better play by our rules or fly your ass back to whatever shithole you came from. Yes, I will give you the hardest hate stare I can if you won't even show me your face you ****. Can you tell I live in Europe and the migrant crisis is hitting us a bit?

- Let's not forget the macabre clown show that is US politics. Right now it seems your next president will either be a corporate shill or an uncivilized, racist nutjob. Trump becomes president it seems like it'll be W. Bush all over again, except worse. Make eugenics a thing, that might fix all the fatass retards fucking up the world by proxy via voting twats like Trump. I'd wish for Sanders to win, but american gung-ho fuck yeah culture will never accept the ideas he's proposing.

- Bring Hitchens back goddammit. The man wasn't perfect, but by... respect for my fellow primates, we need him more than ever. Feminist hypocrisy and college indoctrination are running rampant in the US, and I fear it'll soon start to spill over into continental Europe. Oh, and the whole anglocentricity of the entire racism debate is sickening. Europe doesn't have your history, America, stop trying to apply your rules to us. Not all white people were slavers, indeed many of them were slaves themselves.

- People from the west migrating to ISIS. Fuck 'em. Fuck them with a rusty kitchen knife in their assholes. Throw them off a balcony on the 12th floor. Repeal their citizenship, add persona non grata with permission to shoot them on sight. If I ever find out I'm in the company of such a ****, I will hospitalize them immediately.

- I'm soon graduating from my studies, yet I'm thinking of applying again for some school just to get to party. I'm not even 24, yet I'm already feeling like my youth is passing me by. In the whole 4 years I've been in the program, I can count the amount of good student party nights I've had with my fingers. And hearing my friends constantly saying how crazy and awesome parties they constantly go to makes me feel cheated. All the people in my education are a bunch of boring ass, introverted, shut-ins who seem to have had their jaws wired fucking shut. Recently I had a course where I basically was one out of maybe 3-4 people who actually did anything, while the rest 16-18 people just sat on their asses and twiddled with their phones. I'm supposed to be in the spring of my youth, yet never do I ever go anywhere due to not getting anyone to go, or get invited for that matter. Saturday night at 23:30 and I'm just sitting on my computer typing this! Fuck!

- My country's future is fucked. The economy's still lagging behind the rest of Europe, education and health care are getting cut like Jason Voorhees just found two people fucking and the migrant crisis will have aftereffects that will be fucking up the country for decades to come. Some days I just feel like buying an illegal kalashnikov, a literal ton of ammo and just retreating to a cabin somewhere and shooting everything that comes within 50 meters.

- I was supposed to work a project whose deadline was yesterday but I haven't even started and go run my 3,5 km exercise today. I did neither, instead I just sat at home (haven't even left my apartment the whole day), played Darkest Dungeon, watched reviews of old 80's action movies and masturbated. What a worthless fuck I am.

- Global climate change, overpopulation, general stupidity, selfishness, regressive ideas and cultures, fjnalsfkna .lacnalkdja-pwojfaklansla

 

[Euryalus]

I was diagnosed with some weird auto immune thing that may or may not get deadly worse... right in my last semester of college. Fucking timing is what upsets me more than anything... which may say weird things about my priorities *shrugs*

Either way I have to write a thesis in between internal bleeding... damnable genetics. XD

Some one needs to give DNA a good talking to.

He's a douche. Never listens.

 

[Elfgore]

I don't know what's been going on with me the past couple months, might be depression or just hit with what life is, I don't really know. But I've found myself just feeling empty and bored of pretty much everything. Over the past few months video games, anime, hanging with friends, music, anything that use to bring me joy. I just don't really care about and do to kill time between sleeping and working. I have no energy, no drive to do anything, and frequently just don't care. I go home, waste time, go to the bed, wake up, and go to work. It's a boring cycle.

I first really noticed this about a month ago for the most part. I'll lie in my bed, trying to go sleep(which I'm doing as I type this) and my mind just gets filled with all these negative thoughts. Biggest of all, the hell's the point of life? Go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, and die? Right now I've done the job part by skipping school and if this is my life, I don't want to spend the next fifty to sixty years doing this. I feel like my soul is being sucked out day by day. Bills, bullshit at work, and annoying people is all I seem to deal with. A full life of this is just... He'll almost terrifying.

I don't know what's going on, I might just be in a long bad mood, depressed, edgey, hit with reality, or whatever. Don't really know and honestly don't really care. Just hope something changes soon because this is not that enjoyable.

Edit: felt really good saying this. Might be able to fall asleep easier tonight.

 

[Darthpathfinder]

I was diagnosed with some weird auto immune thing that may or may not get deadly worse... right in my last semester of college. Fucking timing is what upsets me more than anything... which may say weird things about my priorities *shrugs*

Either way I have to write a thesis in between internal bleeding... damnable genetics. XD

Some one needs to give DNA a good talking to.

He's a douche. Never listens.

In that case your going to have to switch tactics then....