Labyrinth said:
I can't say that you're wrong, since you do make a lot of good points. I guess I just can't see any word, regardless of connotations, in sheer black and white. Also, I'll always prefer less formal pronouns like "dude" or the dreaded "chick" to something as impersonal and bland as "person."
As for words like "******" or "fag," their use is quickly changing, as well. Instead of being a hateful term applied to isolate a group, we're seeing such terms used by those very groups to create a sort of internal exclusivity. On a much smaller note, we're seeing the same with terms like "geek."
I find it funny that you mentioned the term "breeder." I've never been slapped with the term personally, but it came up during a conversation with an author that I respect greatly. I confronted them about their use of the term to refer to all heterosexuals, since I'm heterosexual, but I have no intention of reproducing; therefore, I don't feel like the term "breeder" should apply to me. I got no response to this.
Sure, the term "breeder" is a bit distasteful to me, but most of the people I know who use it don't mean to be insulting. To me, and to them, "breeder" is just a slightly edgier, more colorful synonym for "straight." Truth be told, I find "straight" to be the more insulting of the two, since it implies that anyone else is "crooked."
I think I'm done trying to disagree, since we do seem to have at least some common ground. When meeting strangers, I'll always defer to more polite pronouns, saving the "dudes" and "chicks" for a later time when I understand the other person's preferences and they in turn understand the meaning behind the words I use. I agree that words can hurt, and can be used as weapons. However, on a final note, I firmly believe that we need to spend less time trying to convice the thickheaded to change their vocabularies and focus on simply not letting them get to us. If someone is looking to get a rise, the best offense is to not care.