Poll: UK Citizenship Quiz

[Davey Woo]

9 out of 24 - UK citizen.

This test is ridiculous, I have no idea how they can think this is a fair way of checking to see if someone's fit to enter the country, in my opinion, if they can work, and can speak enough English to hold a conversation, they are fine.

 

[Timtim888]

You scored 11 out of a possible 24

 

[cahtush]

What is wrong with that test? Ask things like the name of the Queen and national day. Not things like that word on q.

7/24 and swedish

 

[Wicky_42]

8... well, obviously the test is broken, lol. As a British citizen, if they want us to know crap about recruitment centres in the West Indies decades ago, might I humbly suggest they add them to the history lesson syllabus? I mean, it's not like it comes up in conversation.

Also, "quango"? I thought that was just some bullshit term like the US's "Tsar" that just suddenly starts appearing in papers without any explanation and everyone doesn't ask what it means cos they don't want to look foolish (still got it right though

Here's a couple of proper questions:

1) What's wrong?
a) The weather.
b) The queues.
c) The government.
d) All of the above.

2) What's the best way to describe 100 cm?
a) A meter
b) A metre
c) 3.28083989501 feet
d) About a yard.

Bonus mark if you missed either the A or the T out of 'bou'.

3) Chicken Tikka Masala is England's favourite dish. Where does it come from?
a) India.
b) England.
c) Scotland.

Bonus marks for the name of any supermarket other than Waitrose.

4) Name a quality newspaper.
(Trick question: Any answer is wrong.)

5) What are the ingredients of a bacon sandwich?

Proper bacon, two doorsteps, brown sauce Ketchup is acceptable IF it's Heinz. Lose half a mark for lettuce.

6) Seriously, what's wrong?
a) The weather
b) That guy on the news, did you see it? Oooh what a scandal.
c) What the doctor doesn't think I have, but I know I do.
d) All of the above.

7) When should you say sorry?
a) When something is your fault.
b) When something isn't your fault.
c) When something might be your fault.
d) At every possible instance.

8) Look, are you sure nothing's wrong?
a) It's OK, I'll cope.
b) It's fine, I'll cope.
c) Well... - Lose 5 marks.
d) No, nothing is wrong.

9) Sex?
a) Male
b) Female
c) Hurr hurr you said sex - Lose 5 marks
d) I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.

10)
Two World Wars and One World Cup?
a) Doo dah, doo dah.
b) I don't understand the question.
c) I find that offensive. - Lose 5 marks.
d) Do you really think we should still be harping on about that? - Deportation.

11) Congratulations, you have passed the test.
a) Sorry.
b) Sorry.

Because it's too good not to keep being quoted

This is definitely the way it should be - how can you integrate with the British if you don't understand us? All that bullshit trivia, obtuse general knowledge and statistics are pointless if what you want are people who respect/understand what it means to be British, soggy and stoical!

 

[int boom]

14/24

They don't really educate us on how our electoral system works in schools anyway, so how anyone under the age of 18 is supposed to know how by elections work is beyond me.

 

[Evil Moo]

Failed with 14/24 and I'm from the UK.

I was not expecting a strange and irrelevant history test, with some oddly specific general knowledge questions thrown in. I don't see how anyone would pass that without having known the specific subjects of the questions before hand.

 

[TimeLord]

12/24

Some of those questions are kind of obtuse though.

Here's a couple of proper questions:

4) Name a quality newspaper.
(Trick question: Any answer is wrong.)

7) When should you say sorry?
a) When something is your fault.
b) When something isn't your fault.
c) When something might be your fault.
d) At every possible instance.

4) Are any newspapers in any country ever been classed as quality?

7) Yay! I admit to being a slave to answer d). Therefore I am the perfect Brit!

But don't drink tea... Therefore I am a failure as a Brit.

BUT! I do know how to queue. And I know how to do it with style while always knowing where my towel is! Therefore.... I'm not sure...

 

[Realmikebob]

about the first point: Lowland Scots is a dialect, not a language. It's a form of english. for example:
"I went to the shops." English
"Ah wenty the shoaps." Scots
"Chuaigh mé go dtí na siopaí." Irish Gaelic

and Scottish Gaelic is a similar language. It isnt called Ulster Scots though. It's Gaelic.
and the connection would be the Celts.

"A language is merely a dialect with an army and navy" - Max Weinreich

I'm not a student of languages or their history, but my understanding is that Scots did not develop from English, they are similar languages that evolved in parallel.

And Ulster Scots has nothing to do with Gaelic.

14 out of 24. Failed, but proud.

 

[Teh Jammah]

only got 10 and I live here.

someone passing that test really must've done their homework

 

[ReSpawn]

most of those questions are fucking bullshit. 'Ulster Scots'? seriously? that's a little offensive, because Gaelic and Scots have NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER!

What about the Lowland Scots who migrated to Ireland to settle and work the Plantation of Ulster? I'm pretty sure they have something to do with the Irish Gaels, even if it's just by living in the same land.

Also, what about the Goidelic areas of Scotland? They have something to do with the Scots. Scotland wasn't all Pictish... most if it was Pictland I grant you, but the West of Scotland was Goidelic and shared roots with Ireland, so the connection between Gaelic and Scots is stronger than you may think.

and i'm fairly sure the Protestants were AGAINST the Catholic monarchy.

The Protestants were against the Catholic monarchy, which is why our current Protestant Monarchy aren't allowed to marry anyone who isn't a Protestant, to prevent a Catholic ever becoming eligible for the throne.

You should learn a bit about the history of Britannia before calling "fucking bullshit" on established historical fact.

second point, my school skipped over the change from Catholicism to Protestantism. we just sort of jumped from Mary Queen of Scots to the Jacobites.
and i wasnt calling British history bullshit, i was calling the questions bullshit. as in, they have no real use in average life. evidence: i got 8 right and have lived here for all my life. also, pretty hard for me to study British history when i have too much work learning about Russian history.

about the first point: Lowland Scots is a dialect, not a language. It's a form of english. for example:
"I went to the shops." English
"Ah wenty the shoaps." Scots
"Chuaigh mé go dtí na siopaí." Irish Gaelic

and Scottish Gaelic is a similar language. It isnt called Ulster Scots though. It's Gaelic.
and the connection would be the Celts.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulster_Scots_dialects

Holy fuck dude, relax.

 

[CptCamoPants]

That test is even more moronic than the American one. What the fuck does trick or treating have to do with citizenship, for one?
I scored 8 out of 24 and I've never been to the UK. Of course it was (mostly) guesswork.

 

[ChaoticKraus]

10 out of 24. Bloody hell.

But then again i'm not from the UK and English is my second language. A lot of it seemed to stupid, pointless numbercrunching and/or trivia.

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

Born in the UK and I got 50%.
I do think we should give this test to members of the BNP though. That would be amusing.

Maybe I should go to another EU country.
I've always wanted to live in Bruges.

 

[weker]

23. How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Halloween?

what!? I really hope this test was not serious as that is pathetic...

 

[ultimateownage]

I'm a UK citizen, and I like being one. Don't take that away from me, tories. =(

I scored 12, so I was 25% away from passing. There is no way this could be an actual thing they do, I know the Conservatives do a hell of a lot of stupid shite but this is a little much.

1) What's wrong?
a) The weather.
b) Definitely not the queues. We love those buggers.
c) The government.
d) All of the above.

Bonus marks for the name of any supermarket other than Waitrose. Or you were elitist about going to Waitrose.

4) Name a quality newspaper.
(Trick question: Any answer is wrong. Except the Guardian, sometimes.)

5) What are the ingredients of a bacon sandwich?

Proper bacon (Back, not that American shite), two doorsteps, brown sauce(HP) Ketchup is acceptable IF it's Heinz. Lose half a mark for lettuce.

6) Seriously, what's wrong?
a) The weather
b) That guy on the news, did you see it? Oooh what a scandal.
c) Those bloody French.
d) All of the above.

7) When should you say sorry?
a) When something is your fault.
b) When something isn't your fault.
c) When something might be your fault.
d) At every possible instance, when there aren't any French nearby.

8) Look, are you sure nothing's wrong?
a) It's OK, I'll cope.
b) It's fine, I'll cope.
c) Well... - Lose 5 marks.
d) No, nothing is wrong.
e) It's those bloody [Welsh / French / Americans / Irish] again.

11) Congratulations, you have passed the test.
a) Sorry.
b) Sorry.
c) In your face, Frenchies.

There fixed it.

 

[Broady Brio]

11/24. British.

We suck. Guess we have to go back to out own countries... I'm sensing a paradox here.

 

[Rule Britannia]

I thought there would have been a lot of history it's all (mostly) politics and shit ¬.¬
I got 25% I did live in England but now I live in Canada. I don't know anything about Canadian stuff either so I doubt I'll be taking the test ever. (I can't take it anyway since I have to have been living here for three years)

 

[Wintermoot]

10/24 (75%)(not from UK)
I doubt the average citizens knows even half of that stuff

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Is this statement TRUE or FALSE: in the 1980s, the largest immigrant groups were from the West Indies, Ireland, India and Pakistan?

Why the Hell does this even matter?

How many parliamentary constituencies are there?

Not really relevant, and it isn't exactly crucial to citizenship that everyone knows the exact number of parliamentary seats. The number often changes from election to election.

Why were recruitment centres set up in the West Indies in the 1950s?

Pointless trivia, nothing more.

The percentage of people in the UK in 2001 who said they were Muslims was

More number crunching.

Tests like this should focus on testing immigrants' awareness of national laws and traditions, not useless statistics and random facts.

this

i'm not british , got a 11/24, but most of that shit was utterly useless and didn't matter at all, they should be testing on legal laws that might be different or "common sense" type things to get you on your way throughout the UK, not bullshit statistics that mean nothing.

 

[PureChaos]

UK citizen and i got 14 correct though i had to guess most of them