Poll: Upsides to bullying?
- Thread starter Jaeriko
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Bullying has no benefits for either party. I don't let them happen and I don't do them. The only thing a bully ever benefits from around me is knowing the futility of his acts.
I went through some heavy mental bullying (or as I call it - ABUSE) from 3rd to 11th grade,... not only teachers, fellow students, and even my mother. I don't really want to get into it.
The only thing that it all slid to was severe self-esteem issues that caused an abuse of laxatives in HS. Paranoia, distrust of other people, I had/have issues with authority figures, and a healthy dose of cynicism as an adult. It's gotten a lot better since I met my husband and married, but he's had to work hard to prove to me I'm not entirely worthless. It's also taken work on my part to get better, and not to be angry and hate everything all the time.
So, no. At least not for me.
The only thing that it all slid to was severe self-esteem issues that caused an abuse of laxatives in HS. Paranoia, distrust of other people, I had/have issues with authority figures, and a healthy dose of cynicism as an adult. It's gotten a lot better since I met my husband and married, but he's had to work hard to prove to me I'm not entirely worthless. It's also taken work on my part to get better, and not to be angry and hate everything all the time.
So, no. At least not for me.
When I wrote that post you quoted, I had that EXACT quote from Cracked firmly in my mind.Generic Gamer said:
My history of bullying goes a bit like this:
- first I was the bully;
- then I was the one being bullied (karma?);
- later on, I became that neutral, socially invisible, guy who doesn't do any bullying nor is bullied.
I understand how some people can say they've gained something from being bullied, because as they say: "suffering builds character". The only thing I am thankful for is that by being bullied, it prevented me from being a bully (or continue to be one).
But this is what I believe in: bullying sucks, it's children exploring their dark side, while to young to hide it (or control it). You could say it's cruelty in it's most honest primary form.
I'm not saying this only because I was bullied (in retrospective, I kind of deserved it), but because I've seen people doing some extreme bullying (not to me, fortunately) and I've seen how much the victims suffer from "being different". It's no longer about "who's the strongest/coolest/better one", it's about pure humiliation.
But who knows, maybe those victims will turn out to be one of the greatest people alive, thanks to that.
- first I was the bully;
- then I was the one being bullied (karma?);
- later on, I became that neutral, socially invisible, guy who doesn't do any bullying nor is bullied.
I understand how some people can say they've gained something from being bullied, because as they say: "suffering builds character". The only thing I am thankful for is that by being bullied, it prevented me from being a bully (or continue to be one).
But this is what I believe in: bullying sucks, it's children exploring their dark side, while to young to hide it (or control it). You could say it's cruelty in it's most honest primary form.
I'm not saying this only because I was bullied (in retrospective, I kind of deserved it), but because I've seen people doing some extreme bullying (not to me, fortunately) and I've seen how much the victims suffer from "being different". It's no longer about "who's the strongest/coolest/better one", it's about pure humiliation.
But who knows, maybe those victims will turn out to be one of the greatest people alive, thanks to that.
The basic concept of "bullying" is that it is unwarranted harassment. The victim did nothing wrong, but they are punished anyway. I think I could see an upside if a kid who truly deserved it (like say, a bully) was ripped a new one by his fellow students, but that's not how bullying works in real life. In real life bullying experiences just hurt and cause unnecessary pain.
If knowing the darkest and cruelest parts of the human heart is an important piece of knowledge to know between the ages of 7 and 15, then by all means call it a positive. If, and only if, that knowledge outweighs the prejudice and intolerance bred by kids who are bullied because they are "different" or "weird."
If knowing the darkest and cruelest parts of the human heart is an important piece of knowledge to know between the ages of 7 and 15, then by all means call it a positive. If, and only if, that knowledge outweighs the prejudice and intolerance bred by kids who are bullied because they are "different" or "weird."
Well one thing for witch bullying is imparative is to give kids a so called "thick skin" all these teens are commiting suicide because as children they never had to nut up and ignore other people they never learned to value their own opinion over others Expecially in schools, violence should be tolerated to a point. One of the most gratifing experiences of my life was wrapping my fingers around the bullys neck and squeezing tight, it made me more of a man.
By having a reality check that somewhere, people saw you as a social retard with no friends and no support, and pounced on you because they could get away with it.ninjastovall0 said:
What's the lesson? Don't be a social retard living in your fantasy, and learn social networking.
Because the victim lets them do this and doesn't fend for him or herself. It's not the victim's fault that it occurs, but it is his or her fault that he or she lets them continue without lifting a finger, and just eats it up.Lilani said:
Call the police, talk to your parents, punch his nose, bring it up to teachers and principals, and alert the media if they shove the issue under a rug. Make a mock "Wanted" post-sign identifying people as "bullies". Make friends, join a group, be vocal about the issue. Solutions ARE there, but people are too scared to be called a "snitch". Well sorry, when survival is at stake, there ain't no snitching.
Not really. I never truly gave a damn about what people think about me anyway.
Maybe it's just that I have transcended above the realm of these pitiful mortals, but I know from instinct how much the world sucks. I know all of the life lessons you and/or any television show characters can ever hope to learn.
Maybe it's just that I have transcended above the realm of these pitiful mortals, but I know from instinct how much the world sucks. I know all of the life lessons you and/or any television show characters can ever hope to learn.
I think any type of personal development from social situations will vary from person to person. One person could turn their bullying into something positive where as others will be crushed by the weight of it. There are too many outside factors ranging from environmental to genetic to really be able to predict how any human is going to react to social stimuli.
Nothing good has come from my being bullied when I was younger. From it came social problems that I have never recovered from, along with other personal problems over self-worth. If I could make it so it never happened, I would do it in a heartbeat.
I will say it has given me a new perspective on social orders. At least now I understand how others feel. I remember the Columbine shootings several years ago, and one of the first thoughts that came to my mind is how those kids must have felt. I also think I know what motivated them. It sounds awful, but the looks on those jocks faces, the one that had tormented the shooters for so long, must have been fucking priceless when the gun was in their face.
The more people are bullied, the more other people will know how it feels. It's a real nasty calculus.
I will say it has given me a new perspective on social orders. At least now I understand how others feel. I remember the Columbine shootings several years ago, and one of the first thoughts that came to my mind is how those kids must have felt. I also think I know what motivated them. It sounds awful, but the looks on those jocks faces, the one that had tormented the shooters for so long, must have been fucking priceless when the gun was in their face.
The more people are bullied, the more other people will know how it feels. It's a real nasty calculus.
That's a myth, it wasn't about revenge for being social outcasts, as Harris and Klebold didn't target jocks and whitecaps. They targeted anyone they encountered, regardless of their status, color, or gender, except people they intimately knew and personally liked (like John Savage or Brooks Brown), whom they let go or even urged to leave ASAP.Mr. Meslier said:
They wanted to blow up the school and kill everyone, and bring the shooting outside in the town if left unchecked. They wanted to kill as many people as possible before getting gunned down. They had no intention of getting out of this alive.
Bullying has contributed to my cynical and misanthropic nature, which has pushed me to give up the idea of college and enlist in the Marines. Oorah! I figure leave college for the normal, well-adjusted types. I consider that a positive, but some others might disagree.
I don't have a problem with physical bullying. I see it as a chance to bash someone's face in. It's the pointless bullying that goes on behind my back that I have no patience for. If someone has a problem with me, I want them to be direct about it instead of going behind my back and saying things when we've never said two words to each other.
I don't have a problem with physical bullying. I see it as a chance to bash someone's face in. It's the pointless bullying that goes on behind my back that I have no patience for. If someone has a problem with me, I want them to be direct about it instead of going behind my back and saying things when we've never said two words to each other.
What a cop out of an excuse. Have you ever even been bullied before? Do you actually expect these children and young adolescents to handle situations like this exactly as an adult would? A lot of times, the bullies are the ones who are endeared by teachers. They're the charismatic ones, or the athletes. There were many bullies like this in my schools growing up. Nobody wanted to rat them out because the teachers wouldn't do anything anyway.WingedIncubus said:
Also, on the "make friends and join a group" front, bullying is devastating to a kid's trust in others and ability to be open. It gets to a point where they don't try to talk or make any friends out of pure defense. They are ridiculed for every word that comes out of their mouth, and the only way they see to stop it is to just stop talking. I know this for a fact because I was like this for a few years.
The only way bullying can stop is if the victims AND the bystanders do something about it. Bystanders don't do anything because they don't want to be a snitch, like you said, but also because the problem doesn't affect them. Kids at that age can be very selfish creatures. They aren't thinking about the consequences of others' actions, heck, it's hard for them to think about their own.
How dare you say that kids allow themselves to be bullied? That is like saying rape victims allow themselves to be raped. On the contrary--it is others that allow them to be bullied. Bystanders (those who do not bully and nor are bullied) make up the majority of schools, and if they remain silent while a kid is being ridiculed to the point of tears then that is both condoning and enabling. Apathy is the number one cause and propagator of bullying. Apathy toward the victim and the situation in general.
However, if that same majority of the school does not approve and does not let these instances go unnoticed, then it is an entirely different atmosphere. Bullying isn't a natural thing anymore--it is an unwelcome intruder, and will make the bullies pariah rather than the victims.
I really didn't mean to use it as a specific example. I simply meant to express that I have been at the point where violent revenge against those who had bullied me or those I felt socially abandoned me would have been one of the greatest feelings in the world. Bullying had me obsessed with revenge, and it's a phase I'm glad I passed through. Something that can push me that far is not something that is worth it.WingedIncubus said:
