Poll: Was I the one wrong?

[Urgh76]

Warning: this is an advice thread. For those who want to bolt, hit that back button

OT: Okay, so even though me and this other girl never actually went out, or officially hooked up; I always thought it was fairly obvious; I met her 3 years ago and started "joining her group" 2 years ago.

Anyways, this year we've been getting a little closer, and about a month or two ago, I got the idea of making her Christmas present in my sewing course (yes, go ahead, laugh) We were making stockings, and I basically spent every class making sure everything was perfect through blood, sweat, and tears. (except the tears *flexes*)

I had finally finished it, and the day before Christmas vacation, I gathered enough courage to actually give it to her.

She took it, thanked me kindly, but that was it... As if she had just received it from one of her other friends... actually less than that. She wasnt mean in any way about it, just....indifferent

I was basically as depressed as I could be on the way to the bus and in the texts afterwords, such as: Her: Merry Christmas! I'm sorry I forgot to say it before I got on the bus. Me: Yeah... Merry Christmas... Just wish the year would be a bit "newer"

I haven't heard from her since and I'm wondering if she feels bad, confused, or even scared. So, am I overreacting to her reaction?

EDIT: oh, and she has no cell phone service where she lives, and she doesn't want to get a Facebook

 

[Anarchemitis]

I wouldn't say there is any sort of issue. Take what transpired and leave it as is.

Let the past and the future worry about themselves.

 

[TheComedown]

Wrong? What? There is no right or wrong here. I think whats happening is that you could be misreading somethings.

By the way

I acted basically as depressed as I could on the way to the bus and in the texts afterwords

This never helps, and just makes you look like an attention seeking little wus. When someone I know gets like that I generally don't go ask whats up, but ignore them even more. Its usually quite easy to tell if its a actual depression or someone just wanting some attention that doesn't no a better way to get it.

 

[Urgh76]

Wrong? What? There is no right or wrong here. I think whats happening is that you could be misreading somethings.

By the way

I acted basically as depressed as I could on the way to the bus and in the texts afterwords

This never helps, and just makes you look like an attention seeking little wus. When someone I know gets like that I generally don't go ask whats up, but ignore them even more. Its usually quite easy to tell if its a actual depression or someone just wanting some attention that doesn't no a better way to get it.

Oh no, I didnt mean I did that to get her attention, I just was depressed

 

[TheComedown]

Wrong? What? There is no right or wrong here. I think whats happening is that you could be misreading somethings.

By the way

I acted basically as depressed as I could on the way to the bus and in the texts afterwords

This never helps, and just makes you look like an attention seeking little wus. When someone I know gets like that I generally don't go ask whats up, but ignore them even more. Its usually quite easy to tell if its a actual depression or someone just wanting some attention that doesn't no a better way to get it.

Oh no, I didnt mean I did that to get her attention, I just was depressed

You could have worded that a lot better then? Wait lets have another look

I acted basically as depressed as I could

"I Acted basically as depresses as I could

This is how you tell us you were genuinely depressed?

Anyway, as I said before, you seem to be seeing something that simply isn't there.

 

[Istanbul]

Remember that when you give her something, she gets a thing. She doesn't get to see all the hard work you put into making it, she doesn't get to see your feelings on it, she only gets a thing. She may have gotten a dozen presents that day, and who knows? Maybe yours was the one where she had just gotten a little tired.

I think you're reading far too much into it. She didn't throw herself into your arms and pepper you with kisses, sure, but she thanked you! Making a big production out of it sorta suggests that you were doing it more for a reaction than out of the goodness of your heart.

 

[Urgh76]

snip

fix'd.... i think...

I was doing that from my Ipod late at night though..

 

[zombiesinc]

I was basically as depressed as I could be on the way to the bus and in the texts afterwords, such as: Her: Merry Christmas! I'm sorry I forgot to say it before I got on the bus. Me: Yeah... Merry Christmas... Just wish the year would be a bit "newer"

This certainly wasn't the way to react to her not jumping onto you in appreciation.

I can understand you having strong feelings for this person, but try to avoid making another person feel guilty for not sharing those feelings, or reacting a certain way. She was polite and thankful, you can't expect any more than that. It's fair for you to hope, but not expect more.

If you really like this girl, you need to put yourself out there, otherwise nothing will happen. Try not to worry about whether or not she really appreciated the gift, or if she likes you. Continue hanging out with her, and when you feel confident enough, share your feelings. Avoiding coming off too strong, or acting 'as depressed as' you can. The rest will work itself out.

 

[Peteron]

Don't worry about it man. Of course, I am not in your shoes, so I do not know your precise reaction, but I think that she was just acting normally. Maybe not as grateful as you could have hoped for, but nothing ever works out precisely as planned. I wouldn't stress about it!

 

[stonethered]

I think there might be less there than you seem to think is there.

You admit that there have been no dates or official hookup. Based on that alone, I'd say that at best you're maybe someone she's interested in, but that there isn't actually something solid.
Not to say the potential doesn't exist. I think that you should try and get a better feel for what she's going through and what she's feeling. Think about the sort of questions you'd want her to ask you and ask her them. Nothing invasive mind you, just show that you care for her on a more day-to-day sort of level. Save big stuff for when you have a stronger foundation to work from.

And don't take it personally. It might seem obvious to you that there's something there, but that doesn't mean it's obvious to her. Relax, No matter how awesome and useful they are, the fact remains that not all people show their appreciation the same way; and sadly some gifts are not easy to properly appreciate (I know, I've gotten some rather off-beat but fairly awesome gifts).
She may have also been busy at the time, or tired, that sort of thing does happen.

Edit; coincidentally, 'get over yourself' is the family motto.

 

[Naheal]

Sounds like there was nothing on her end in the first place.

 

[Daffy F]

Try not acting too depressed, it puts people off. I've found with my girlfriend, if she's worried that she's upset me in some silly way, nothing makes it worse than acting like you ARE upset, because that can lead to her feeling bad. I usually find that being cheerful and friendly towards her will make her feel better about the whole thing.

 

[Bellvedere]

I don't see what the big deal is..

Nothing actually happened. She probably doesn't even realise you like her and just thought you were dumping your sewing class crap on her (some people are good without trying and some people are bad when they try really hard and unless you went on about how hard you were trying she'd never get the value of it.)

You are waaay overthinking it.

My advice is cheap spirits. Nothing brings people closer than the courage it takes to drink bad vodka and drunkenness.