Poll: Which Fictitious Foot Soldier Would it Suck to be the Most?

[LewsTherin]

The Imps. I give each one two weeks, if they're lucky...and they're not
[HEADING=1]Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium![/HEADING]

 

[Kollega]

Imperial Guardsman, without a doubt. It's like all the others combined. Let's see.

- Shitty guns and armour (Stormtroopers).
- Gigantic bug-aliens in opposition (Starship Troopers and Colonial Marines).
- Power-armoured berserkers as other kind of opposition (Halo Grunts).
- Heavy reliance on "reserves" (LotR Orcs).
- Your own superiors tend to shoot you (Bond mooks).

And many, many, MANY other disadvantages and problems. There's absolutely no positive sides in being an Imperial Guardsman. Well, except for running into... [HEADING=2]Comissar Chiapas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM![/HEADING]
Then you have some chances. But unfortunately, in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only one Chiapas Cain in the entire galaxy.

 

[Milkatron]

Orc. Death by Ent would just feel too embarrassing. And their hygiene is atrocious.

 

[Mcupobob]

I pick the guardsmen because they way I treat them I.e bullet absorbers for my more important troops, or the troops from star ship troopers ( not sure if thats the right name you know the one with the bugs and neil patrick harrais.) those guy had sucky commanders and NEVER used there grenades when there were complety surrounded.

 

[Slayer_2]

Halo Grunt... all they do is run around screaming, fire pot-shots at you or run kamikaze with two armed plasma grenades in their hands.

 

[aebonhawk]

The Imps. I give each one two weeks, if they're lucky...and they're not
[HEADING=1]Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium![/HEADING]

Or Jurgen of course. Everyone seems to forget about him.

 

[Pimppeter2]

A Halo Marine. I wouldn't be able to drive myself to work!

 

[War Penguin]

Storm Trooper. Once you put on that helmet, God puts a gigantic kick me sign on your back.

 

[silverbot01]

A lemming.

 

[God Worm]

I'm giving it to the Colonial Marines from Aliens. Even if they aren't brutally eviscerated, they're going to be used as hosts and die through extremely painful chest-bursting. When they are able to get off a few kills, there's the danger of being showered in sulfuric acid. To top it all off, the majority of all Marines are considered expendable from the get-go. Their job sucks.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

Imperial Guard easily. Not only do you have to square off against creatures that can fuck up a 7 foot, genetically enhanced human in power armour but you have to do so in a shitty vest that can not protect you from even a glacing blow and armed with a damn flash light.
Oh and if you show fear, do not advance fast enough, lose your weapon, do not pray hard enough or do anything at all "wrong" you have the Commissars there to "encourage" you by shooting you in the face.
So yeah, either way you are fethed. At least in the others you have some slight chance of winning.

Aha! But the flashlight is equipped with parallax technology, so the light goes in the general direction you're pointing in!

 

[Rainboq]

The Guard, when you don't have the budget for a real army.

 

[Sliverlord]

Imperial Guard, you have to out number the enemy 20-1 just to have have an even fight. Gak! at least storm troopers have sweet uniforms, and Bond henchmen have a dental plan
does anyone remember Drakengard 1? the alliance soldiers truly blow in that game, can barely last long enough for Caim to burn them to death with his own dragonfire.

 

[spartan117cxvy]

To be Private Jenkins.

For those who know who he is, I give you a cookie.

 

[aebonhawk]

Also, they aren't called "Starship Troopers". They're Mobile Infantry. Fail #1
"Halo Grunt"? Meaning WHAT? Covenant Grunts? UNSC Marines? Spartan III's? Fail #2
Bond Villain Henchmen are not foot soldiers, they're HENCHMEN. Hence the NAME. Fail #3
NO TERRAN MARINE. Fail #4
No Battlestar Galactica Colonial Marines or Cylons? Fail #5

And many more you missed.

1 I don't care Starship Troopers sounds cooler and it is what I always call them.
2 I tried to use only one from each universe and the term "Grunt" has a fairly obvious since they seem to die more regularly than any other troops in that universe.
3 I acknowledged the fact that henchmen are not foot soldiers in the poll. However they are still expandable and die in record numbers keeping to the spirit of the poll.
4 I don't play StarCraft.
and finally 5 Colonial marines and Cylons in BSG don't die off in the numbers needed for me to consider them part of this poll (although I am a big fan of the series).

Please less criticism of the poll and more discussion of it.

 

[Zolrak 22]

This kinda of reminded me of this: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/10/19/ , tell me Im not the only one who ever thought this might have happened in other "Evil" Organizations.