Poll: Would you ever have children?

[Ilikemilkshake]

I'll probably adopt (assuming my partner was okay with that)
i just dont really fancy the baby stage. Plus giving a kid a new home seems like a nicer thing to do.

Yeah... come to think of it... This would eliminate most of the concerns I cited with having kids, personally. And it would give a kid a second chance at life.

The only thing is, that whole baby stage you mention is where a lot of the essential bonds are formed. A kid you adopt can be just as gracious and loved by you as any child you raised yourself, but I don't know if that level of bondedness would ever be present.

Im not a girl, so i'd probably have less of a biological connection to any potential babies, So that doesnt really bother me.
But obviously its something that would be taken into consideration for the significant other.

Don't underestimate the connection made by all members of the family to their own baby. Not to mention the fact that sharing a genetic bond makes differences that you would never notice otherwise. I am the only natural child of my parents' 4 children, and despite my siblings having the same upbringing as me, they are completely different people to me and my parents. They exhibit behaviour and mannerisms that none of us have, but that their birth families (who they have minimal contact with) do.

Experience speaking here: nature beats nurture every time. I'm not saying that adoption is a bad thing - not at all, it's a huge thing to be able to do - but think incredibly carefully before doing so. Children who are in a position to be adopted are probably from a difficult background (the proportion of cases of orphans who have no family to take them in is very low), so there will most likely be attachment issues.

tl;dr - Adoption ain't all like Annie, it's just that no-one tells the stories of what it's like when it goes wrong.

I dont really want to turn this into a nature vs nurture thread but i'll just say that having done this for both biology and psychology at university, and speaking from a personal level, i'd have to disagree, nurture is more important to me (tbh i think its more a mixture but i definatly feel experiance is more important than genes)

I've had alot of parenting issues, they broke up shortly after my brother was born, before they were married, and i spent years moving from place to place, switching between which parents i lived with before my dad won custody and we moved country.

I can with 100% certainty say personality wise i am how i am because of my experiances growing up. Now i know that wont be true for alot of people, im just saying theres no definate answer.

As for bonding with a child who is adopted, i'd almost say i would be able to bond more with a child who had a rough upbringing because i could more easily see them as being similar to myself, than if i had an arbitrary connection of blood to my own child.

hopefully i havent come across as heartless as i think i have but hey thats just me.

 

[Tyzamar]

I will not have children. It's better to not be born into existence.

 

[101flyboy]

I don't want any, right now. Maybe when I'm 30+. As of right now, I doubt it.

 

[Criquefreak]

Used to think the answer would be "NO!" then took up a job as a friend's live-in nanny and realized that if I actually had the capability to I probably would, maybe even having been knocked up in high school. So, my answer is, "No..."

/sigh

Must be nice having choices. I don't consider adoption an option in my case, no direct or indirect emotional connection, plus I re-he-heally do not want to get asked why their parent(s) didn't keep them... too much of a tendency for blunt honesty and perfectionism means I'd present every possible reason to the poor kid.

 

[Vault101]

I'm guessing the majority are going to say they someday want children, but if you do, why, or if you don't then why also? Got a school debate on the topic tomorrow and looking for some fresh perspective.

what are debating? SHOULD people have children or not?

personally I somtimes wish I was somhow sterile so I didnt have to worry about it, I know that sounds totally fucked up, But Im not sure Ill ever want kids..I mean mabye on day Im only young but still

heres a question do you think in society its not normal for women to not want children? and does society look down on a woman who doesnt have/doesnt want children?

also I just dont have any maternal instinct, I mean I like kids but I cant care for them, also I am the one who would actually have to have the thing, plus the cost, plus if the father walk out...yeah, and im too much of a child myself

I mean if somoen doesnt want kids that think thats perfectly A-ok

 

[Dr. Pepper Unlimited]

No, I never plan to have children. I have no real patience for them, they're expensive and horribly loud. I could never stand raising one. I only have one life to live, so I'd like to live it for me, not spent raising children.

 

[Vault101]

Absolutely not.

I do not want to add to the problem of world overpopulation. I do not want to devote nearly all of my precious free time to ensure the proper upbringing of a child (which rules out adoption). I'm not financial wealthy enough to provide a child a proper upbringing and give them the opportunities they deserve. Also I'm genuinely uncomfortable around kids.

I would love to get settle down with someone, but the above views tend to put a damper on nearly everyone I find myself compatible with.

yeah that is a worry int he long term

I mean how many people would be willing to stay with you if you couldnt offer them kids? I guess more women want to have children than not, but even guys get probably have the desire at some point

unless like you go for somone older who is seperated and the kids have grown up....

 

[Ham_authority95]

I'm guessing the majority are going to say they someday want children, but if you do, why, or if you don't then why also? Got a school debate on the topic tomorrow and looking for some fresh perspective.

No, but I'd make a child. From scratch. With tools in my garage. You'll see! *Twitch*

 

[EHKOS]

I'll probably adopt (assuming my partner was okay with that)
i just dont really fancy the baby stage. Plus giving a kid a new home seems like a nicer thing to do.

This. I find babies to be....undesirable to me.