Poll: Would you have sex as an act of kindness?

[BloatedGuppy]

Watching Louis C.K.

He references the fact that people say "there's someone out there for everyone", when it is patently untrue. Says some people are just Lightspeed Ugly, and no one will ever so much as kiss them on the mouth. They'll just wash their genitals every day and then die, and that's all that will ever happen down there.

Audience emits a sympathetic "Awwww".

Louis says "If you feel so bad for them, go find one and fuck them. Solve the problem right there."

So...poll question related to this. If there was a monstrously ugly individual out there whose Make A Wish was to have sex with YOU specifically, and it would just...make their whole life. You'd be their one sexual encounter before they died. Would you do it?

Keep in mind that this person has to be ugly to YOU. None of this shady thinking of a conventionally ugly person you're secretly hot for.

Would you do it? Would you selflessly abandon your comfort and endure a potentially traumatic coupling to make someone else happy? Or would you be like..."Nah", and go get some Thai food at the mall instead?

 

[Kopikatsu]

My problem is with the premise of the thread. How does 'there's someone out there for everyone' translate into 'relationships are about/built on sex'?

I'd like to think that sex isn't required for a meaningful relationship.

As far as the topic goes, I'd go with 'No'. But I wouldn't really want to have sex with someone I found attractive, either. So eh.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I'm not sure if I could.

I'm really terrible at hiding my feelings when it comes to physical contact, sexual or otherwise. If someone I dislike so much as brushes against me, I tend to move away almost involuntarily so I'm not sure if I'd be able to physically make myself.

I don't know if it would make a difference but do I like the ugly person otherwise?
As in, do I care about them in a friendly way or are they just some stranger who pointed me out on the street and decided they wanted to fuck me?

Either way, I think it would be a no, a guilty no but still a no.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

My problem is with the premise of the thread. How does 'there's someone out there for everyone' translate into 'relationships are about/built on sex'?

It was a joke, from a stand up routine. The premise of the thread isn't "relationships are about sex". The premise of the thread is "Would you have sex with someone you found repugnant out of sympathy".

It's not exactly a critical question, either, it's just a hypothetical.

 

[Casual Shinji]

...No!

I would think having sex with someone you're not attracted to at all is something that sticks with you. Having sex with someone who utterly repulses you would likely result in psychological trauma.

But then if I was a hideous mutant myself and was allowed to have sex with my dream woman, I would decline as well knowing she'd be too busy keeping the chunks down during the act. It's not a thought I would want in my head for the remainder of my life; that the only person I ever had sex with was trying hard not to vomit. I'd rather die with some dignity as a lonely sewer dweller.

 

[Akjosch]

Where's the option for "No, but I could certainly pay a professional to do it"?

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Where's the option for "No, but I could certainly pay a professional to do it"?

I had to free up poll options for the obligatory joke responses. =\

 

[Fappy]

If I wasn't in a relationship of any kind and there was no long term risk involved, sure. I'd make sure I did some prep beforehand so I could actually finish the job... or I guess I could just close my eyes the whole time. Sex is a very personal thing for me, but if it was for a truly altruistic cause like that I think i could bite the bullet.

The hard part would be looking like I enjoy it XD

 

[clinicalPsychologist]

I voted "undecided".

Firstly, I think our culture is waaay too fixated on sex and "losing virginity" to have a great and fullfilled life. Yeah most people enjoy sex and it's awesome, but you didn't lose out on life when you didn't have sex as much as you don't lose out if you never went bungeejumping (which is "better than sex" I heard someone actually say). But still our society deals so weirdly with it.
You can have perfectly fine orgasms with yourself, even if it's maybe not quite as good as with other persons... Yeah I don't know if my point goes across correctly.

But since our society is actually this way right now and people have this weird peer pressure feelings that life without sex is "weird" and "pitiful" and "not fulfilled" I can see how it can be harsh for people who don't "get it" if they actually want it.
So if the other party involved thinks it is okay with them, go for it! I probably wouldn't do it but actually work to get to the root of the problem (probably bullying, low self-esteem, peer rejection, maladaptive cognitions about the world and fulfilled lifes, etc) to maybe change the thinking that they actually need sex with someone attractive to be "happy in life".

 

[ripdajacker]

If I didn't have an existing relationship to screw up, then the more the merrier. On my deathbed I probably won't regret sleeping with anyone.

 

[Phasmal]

Um, no, no I would not.

I don't want to be down on virgins with self esteem problems (because that seems a lot like kicking downwards), but I don't believe in having sex with someone unless you want to.

And nobody owes anyone an awkward pity-fuck, even if they really really want one.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I voted "undecided".

Firstly, I think our culture is waaay too fixated on sex and "losing virginity" to have a great and fullfilled life. Yeah most people enjoy sex and it's awesome, but you didn't lose out on life when you didn't have sex as much as you don't lose out if you never went bungeejumping (which is "better than sex" I heard someone actually say). But still our society deals so weirdly with it.

You can have perfectly fine orgasms with yourself, even if it's maybe not quite as good as with other persons... Yeah I don't know if my point goes across correctly.

But since our society is actually this way right now and people have this weird peer pressure feelings that life without sex is "weird" and "pitiful" and "not fulfilled" I can see how it can be harsh for people who don't "get it" if they actually want it.

So if the other party involved thinks it is okay with them, go for it! I probably wouldn't do it but actually work to get to the root of the problem (probably bullying, low self-esteem, peer rejection, maladaptive cognitions about the world and fulfilled lifes, etc) to maybe change the thinking that they actually need sex with someone attractive to be "happy in life".

This was a slightly serious aside for a fairly light hearted thread, but I'll bite. I agree and disagree.

Sex is hardly the be-all and end-all of anything, and a lot of people can go a very long time without it and still lead fulfilling lives. However, as an a-priori biological imperative, it's significantly higher up on the hierarchy of psychological importance than bungie-jumping.

In C.K.'s specific example, this is an individual so unattractive no one will even kiss them on the mouth, let alone have sex with them, so it's not just the act of intercourse they're missing out on, it's the entire concept of intimate/romantic touch. There is tragedy in that. Virgin at 20? Not so tragic. That's just a late bloomer.

As in, do I care about them in a friendly way or are they just some stranger who pointed me out on the street and decided they wanted to fuck me?

Going off the moment that inspired the question, the audience seemed greatly sympathetic towards the hypothetical individual, so I think we can safely assume that you're at least sympathetically disposed towards them, if not actually "friendly". They're still a stranger.

 

[clinicalPsychologist]

This was a slightly serious aside for a fairly light hearted thread, but I'll bite. I agree and disagree.

Sex is hardly the be-all and end-all of anything, and a lot of people can go a very long time without it and still lead fulfilling lives. However, as an a-priori biological imperative, it's significantly higher up on the hierarchy of psychological importance than bungie-jumping.

In C.K.'s specific example, this is an individual so unattractive no one will even kiss them on the mouth, let alone have sex with them, so it's not just the act of intercourse they're missing out on, it's the entire concept of intimate/romantic touch. There is tragedy in that. Virgin at 20? Not so tragic. That's just a late bloomer.

You're right, but that wouldn't change my answer the slightest. Thing is, we don't live in a society anymore like back when human evolved. So even if you say not all of that is imposed by society and also by biology (which is true) I still would do the same thing. Since changing the view on things will probably be healthier for the person than a life of self-loathing, even if they get sex once it won't solve their underlying problems.

So yeah even if it's human nature you can still adapt healthier cognitions to better deal with life and find other things that make it happy and fulfilled.

 

[TakerFoxx]

I'm not likely to have sex with someone I found attractive and already knew well beforehand. So, nope, nope, nope, nope.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

I'll have to go with "definitely no" on this question.

Can't see myself being...kind enough? I'm not even sure if kind is the right word. I'd have to have some sort of attraction to the person.

 

[Vendor-Lazarus]

I voted for nr 5.
Hmm, was that a joke option?

Seeing as I'm a virgin at 30, I think I'll weigh in.
Now, I'm not hideously deformed nor ugly (at least my previous girlfriends didn't think so) it just hasn't happened.

I would and wouldn't want a "pity-fuck". It's complicated, but I would never consciously want someone to force themselves to do anything as private and intimate as fucking someone against their will.
On the other hand, I really want to know what has everyone up in arms.
I want the sharing of souls, that single moment when your hearts beats as one.
The passion of unconditional love and nothing else exist or even matter.

I could have a slightly romanticized image of sex I suppose.
That is the point really, since I wouldn't know.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Ew, no. I'll treat them to coffee though.

 

[TheIceQueen]

No. Not even sorry either. Just no. Getting intimate like that is one of the things that makes me feel the most vulnerable and I am certainly not putting myself on the table like that for someone who disgusts me.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Well, if they ask afterwards why I had sex with them and my only answer is because I pitied them; that would make both sides feel awful. So no, I'm not the kind of person to do that.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I would only do it if the lights were off or it is competely dark.

Well ok on a serious note, it would be no since it's kind of a rape in my view (by only agreeing to do it make it not a rape). I would just think that woman is just plain selfishness.

Ok sure making a wish is usually out of selfish desire but I know if I ever make a wish to have sex with someone outright is just low even for me (the type that would labee me lust in hell) as I would rather make a wish with going out on a date or form a loving relationship (yes it's bleak seeing how I'm about to died) with someone since I view that to be a far more meaningful (what true love is) than humping her.