Poll: Would you rather sleep with Chell or Samus?

[Korak the Mad]

The increasing number of "who would you screw if given the chance" style threads on these forums lately has become rather depressing......

Sometimes I feel like half of the people populating the forum are just teenagers going through puberty.

I agree with you there, I've seen alot of these types of threads within the past few weeks than I have seen before.

I did leave an answer.

 

[Slayer_2]

I do just LOVE how the people who pick Chell are like, "Lawl, we just dun like a woman who talks"

Anyway, if I was a lez, I'd probably pick Chell. Samus is cool, but Chell kicks ass with very little gear on her. Samus is brawn while Chell is brains. I like a smart partner :3

Sexism, it's hilarious.

I'd chose Chell, probably, because Chell is less of a killing machine. The worst she ever inflicts upon her enemies is knocking them over (those creepy talking turrets). Well, there is also that one time she threw pieces of a giant sentient computer into an incinerator, but the point is that she doesn't kill anything but evil super-computers.

 

[Denamic]

Samus.
She's a MILF.
Still, Chell's definitely not bad either.

 

[someonehairy-ish]

Well my first thought was Chell... but then some posts on here reminded me of the Zero suit.

Ah.

 

[areksjackson]

Samus. What can I say? I like blondes.

 

[Coldflame727]

I think Samus as she just looks better. (Especially in that zero suit!)
Chell would be your intellectual choice though.

I would also pick Samus as well, but how do YOU know she's less intelligent? After all, as far as we know, the only reason Chell survives could just be her incredible reaction time. And Samus herself has been seen to be very intelligent.

 

[Innegativeion]

Samus.

Chell (portal 2 version) is nice looking and everything, but what with the all the trauma she must have garnered in Aperture, and the theory that she was put in the stasis she awakes from in portal 1 when she was just a toddler, I'd rather be with Samus.

Plus Samus is just bad ass beyond resistance.

 

[Trololo Punk]

Samus, Chell just isn't attractive to me.

 

[Innegativeion]

I think Samus as she just looks better. (Especially in that zero suit!)
Chell would be your intellectual choice though.

I would also pick Samus as well, but how do YOU know she's less intelligent? After all, as far as we know, the only reason Chell survives could just be her incredible reaction time. And Samus herself has been seen to be very intelligent.

Yeah, she was raised by the Chozo, if I remember, one of the most intellectually advanced races in the universe.

 

[SonofaJohannes]

If I told my friends I slept with Chell they'd congratulate me. If I told them I slept with Samus they'd carry me around on their shoulders, spreading the word of my greatness as I high-five random passerbys. So Samus.

 

[GeorgW]

Can I do both at the same time? Cuz that'd be pretty damn epic...
If not, Samus. I love Portal, but considering Chell doesn't talk it's be pretty boring.
Oh, and Samus before Other M, of course.
Though now that I think of it, you could do some pretty freaky stuff with that portal gun...

 

[Wereduck]

I have to vote not-Chell here, she's just funny looking so it's Samus by default.

Now if Alyx Vance were representing Valve, on the other hand...

 

[teknoarcanist]

Are you implying that either one of them wouldn't tear my dick off and make a tool out of it to escape whatever hypothetical chained-in-a-dungeon scenario would have to take place in order for me to have that opportunity at all?

 

[Zechnophobe]

I think Samus as she just looks better. (Especially in that zero suit!)
Chell would be your intellectual choice though.

Easy.

Chell is totally into experimentation, whereas Saemus is used to doing the same thing over and over again.

Chell it is!

 

[TheMadTypist]

Chell. She has been scientifically proven to never give up, and besides...

"Now you're getting kinky with portals!"

 

[k-ossuburb]

Chell, simply because I like brunettes and I'm also strangely attracted to cubes.

 

[Mrrrgggrlllrrrg]

Chell but then again I'd have to compete with that cube. I could totally push buttons but jumping into an incinerator and living, that would be difficult.

 

[remnant_phoenix]

As a huge fan of both Portal and Metroid, this is a tough one, but I'm going to have go with Samus.

This is assuming, of course, that Metroid: Other M's defining Samus' personality is thrown out the window. Which, for me, it is. That game is a non-entity to me. I put in the same camp as fan-made spin-offs and fan-fiction with regard to how it effects the series.

If Other M IS respected as the defining of Samus' personality...I'm gonna choose Chell, no question. I wouldn't want a whiny, pouty, Samus to give me a "thumbs down" the next morning...

 

[-Dragmire-]

Tough call from an emotional standpoint. Chell doesn't talk and Samus' dialogue from Other M was audio poison. I have to include their personality(or lack of) when considering which one to sleep with. Imagine the next morning, Samus won't stop talking about her nightmares about Riley whom she kills repeatedly and Chell jumps to say yes... I'd take Chell.

Spoiler: Samus is hot but bland, she doesn't have the personality to make it work

Spoiler: Chell is pretty hot, however, any silent character's personality is basically made up by the audience.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

I pick Chell dressed up in a Samus suit.