Poll: Would you rather... Warning, bit bleak

[tilmoph]

Scenario: One of your friends is going to commit suicide. You are not talking them out of it. Nothing you say or do will stop their self-inflicted death. They are going to die by their own hand. So, here's the question; would you rather talk to them one last time, knowing full well that when you say good bye, it's forever, or would you rather not know at all, and find out from some other source after they've done it (obituary, suicide note, friend of their family, etc.)

For myself, as sad as it would be, i'd rather have that last chance to talk, to hang out, to ask why and get an answer. Going about my day and finding out at random that they were dead would make a tragic situation worse, since I wouldn't be ready for it, and would never really know why. At least with the last talk, I'd know there was nothing I could do. It wouldn't be much, but I think it would beat always wondering "what if?". How about you folks?

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Obviously I'd rather to talk my friend one last time. I don't want to puzzle about it aimlessly after the fact. Might as well get some answers from the horse's mouth.

 

[nykirnsu]

Pretty much what both of you already said; I'd much rather have closure on something as significant as a good friend dying. That's assuming they want to talk of course, but if I know enough about it to know I can't convince them to keep on living then it doesn't sound like they're being very secretive.

 

[Ubiquitous Duck]

I think you'd have to be a bit selfish to say that you wouldn't want to see them, but this seems like a very hypothetical situation - as there is no way you could be presented with these two choices, as one choice requires ignorance of what's going on, but by being asked the question, this isn't possible.

 

[Esotera]

It would depend entirely on the circumstances. If they were suffering from a terminal disease for example then I would support their decision after making sure that they had thought it through very well. I would still talk to them and offer to be there as it's got to be scary to do that.

The same thing goes if they were depressed, except I'd try to stop them and argue against it if they haven't thought it through or had treatment. At least then I can say I tried to everyone. I've no idea why someone would choose to do nothing even if they were ok with the person committing suicide.

 

[Barbas]

They have been my friend, so they deserve a proper, heartfelt goodbye from someone who loves and treasures them. I would hold their hand in mine for one final time. I hope I would try to calm any fears they have and make the last moments of their brief and spirited existence into the happiest ones they had ever known.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Last goodbye no matter how depressing it is. I would feel worse hearing it from someone else and for me to not saying goodbye to him/ her properly.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Death is beautiful in it's own way. Life is over, and the pain is no more. I'd rather have a last goodbye, my friends are important to me, and I'll do anything for them.

 

[Artina89]

That's a tricky one. On the one hand, to be able to say a final goodbye would be nice, as well as an opportunity to get at least some closure, but the guilt that I knew what they were about to do, and the fact that I couldn't help them would haunt me for the rest of my life, as well as the fact that it would taint our final time together, but I wouldn't want to find out from a third party. Ultimately, I think I would like a final goodbye. I want to let them know that they are loved and cherished no matter what.

 

[lacktheknack]

Definitely find out another way.

If I was the last one they talked to before they killed themselves, I'd carry guilt forever. Invalid guilt, possibly, but guilt.

I don't do well with slowly rising anguish, which a last goodbye would cause. I'd rather it all hit me at once out of the blue.

 

[veloper]

This is an interesting little dilemma.

The last talk might satisfy a need to know the reason why (unless it was something like a terminal illness), but the thought of guilt knowing you did not talk this friend out of it may be very hard (unless terminal again).

There would be a doctor present during the final moment in the case of euthanasia, so I assume the TS means a depressed suicidal instead.

In that case, I think it would be less unfortunate to know less and only hear about it afterwards. That last good-bye would have been a painful memory. Sometimes a little ignorance may be preferable.

 

[krazykidd]

An outside source, at least that way i can pretend i don't care. Hurray for bottling up emotions like real men men born before year 2000 do.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Fun fact time!

A friend of mine (not anymore for unrelated reasons) called me to tell me that he was gonna kill himself with the gun that he's holding and that I was the last person he's going to talk to. That was not a fun conversation. It lasted well over two hours before he finally hung up, and I felt like shit the next day. Thankfully he didn't do it though.

So yeah, while I may not like the emotional roller coaster that will happen I would do that again. I want to hear it from their mouth for the reason and not someone guessing what the reason could be, note be damned.

 

[The White Hunter]

Talking them out of it? Curious. I was going to use blunt force to get them out of it.

An outside source, at least that way i can pretend i don't care. Hurray for bottling up emotions like real men men born before year 2000 do.

As I recall one traditionally is supposed to store these "emotions" in a moustache.

 

[Dragonheart57]

I'd prefer to find out after. I'd have nothing to say to them anyway.

 

[Auron225]

Tricky - I feel like I'm choosing between;

1) Forever blaming myself that I couldn't stop them
2) Forever being lost and confused as to why they did it

Both suck tremendously. I think I'd rather talk to them and know, even if it did haunt me later. Hopefully other people will help me get through blaming my failure but no-one could tell me why they did it better than the person themselves.

 

[MrMixelPixel]

This might sound selfish, but I'd feel owed at least one last goodbye. If they are one of my closest friends; and I'm gonna lose them forever, I demand one last chance to talk about anything they or I wanted. That's an unreasonable demand, but in this situation I honestly don't care, I'd want it more than anything.

 

[MysticSlayer]

I'd rather wait until after to know they were committing suicide. I would at least hope our time together was meaningful enough that I don't need one last definitive goodbye to add any extra sense of meaning to our relationship. Personally, I doubt I would even know what it say in that conversation. Will I possibly question why they did it for the rest of my life? Sure, but I don't see how not questioning why they did it would make it any better.

 

[RedDeadFred]

Depends, if they're killing him/herself right after I say goodbye, I'd rather find out after because watching my friend take their own life would be extremely traumatizing.

However, if after I've had my last conversation, I get to leave and then they do it later that day... I guess I'd rather have that option even though I'd feel awful about it. It'd still be nice to say goodbye.

 

[000Ronald]

Scenario: One of your friends is going to commit suicide. You are not talking them out of it. Nothing you say or do will stop their self-inflicted death. They are going to die by their own hand. So, here's the question; would you rather talk to them one last time, knowing full well that when you say good bye, it's forever, or would you rather not know at all, and find out from some other source after they've done it (obituary, suicide note, friend of their family, etc.)

For myself, as sad as it would be, i'd rather have that last chance to talk, to hang out, to ask why and get an answer. Going about my day and finding out at random that they were dead would make a tragic situation worse, since I wouldn't be ready for it, and would never really know why. At least with the last talk, I'd know there was nothing I could do. It wouldn't be much, but I think it would beat always wondering "what if?". How about you folks?

Like hell I'm not going to stop it. If I know for a fact he's going to commit suicide, I'll beat him within an inch of his life and tie him up if that's what it takes to stop him. I can do that. I'm good with knots.