OK, so here the thing. I've been watching porn for a long time, almost a decade, but now i'm pretty sick the whole thing. i really want to quit, but it's too difficult to do by myself. I've considered asking my family or friends for help. but i'm too scared how they might react to it. so i'm asking you escapists, can please help me find a way to deal with this problem?
porn addiction.
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Friends in this context are more appropriate than family, I find. A friend who quits with you is a lot better than one just being a listening ear for your efforts. Additionally, it may sound horrifying to hear, but it in all probability is true: best method would be to quit cold turkey. Set a date (about three seconds ago) on which from that point in time you won't touch the stuff from now on.
A justification for such line of thought can be concluded quite logically in that you don't need it and you'll be better off without porn:
Sexual gratification, for sake of this example, is measured in bowls. You have let's say five bowls per month that you pour out in the exertion or reception of sexual gratification. In the ideal relationship, all five bowls are spent on your significant other. When you cheat, you look at porn, masturbate etc, you are having part of this amount of sexual gratification spent on those activities instead of your significant other. Instead of your significant other receiving all five bowls, they're only getting one (or two, or any number other than five), because you're satisfying much of your desire for gratification though means that are not that person. In essence of sexual gratification therefore, it is practice of cheating on them. Cheating on them in the same way that you would cheat with a person; with a page of a magazine, or the bits and bytes of a programmed website.
When all of your gratification is spent and maintained on one concentrated source (your other), then the sensation will be all the better because they're the only medium you permit yourself.
The mindset in which wherever sexual gratification is obtained other than your signigicant other, is a method of betrayal (or theft on the part of those exterior materials, to shift the blame) on your significant other. If you don't have one, that makes it much harder, but that's where the friend can certainly help. Rely on each other to keep clean for the sake of each other and the task. Additionally, kill the weeds at the root; stop going to the websites that you frequented in your addictions, block offending material however possible, destroy magazines that you may have. It's a lot easier to control the mind from sexual gratification via fantasies once its been deprived of sources from which to draw inspiration.
A justification for such line of thought can be concluded quite logically in that you don't need it and you'll be better off without porn:
Sexual gratification, for sake of this example, is measured in bowls. You have let's say five bowls per month that you pour out in the exertion or reception of sexual gratification. In the ideal relationship, all five bowls are spent on your significant other. When you cheat, you look at porn, masturbate etc, you are having part of this amount of sexual gratification spent on those activities instead of your significant other. Instead of your significant other receiving all five bowls, they're only getting one (or two, or any number other than five), because you're satisfying much of your desire for gratification though means that are not that person. In essence of sexual gratification therefore, it is practice of cheating on them. Cheating on them in the same way that you would cheat with a person; with a page of a magazine, or the bits and bytes of a programmed website.
When all of your gratification is spent and maintained on one concentrated source (your other), then the sensation will be all the better because they're the only medium you permit yourself.
The mindset in which wherever sexual gratification is obtained other than your signigicant other, is a method of betrayal (or theft on the part of those exterior materials, to shift the blame) on your significant other. If you don't have one, that makes it much harder, but that's where the friend can certainly help. Rely on each other to keep clean for the sake of each other and the task. Additionally, kill the weeds at the root; stop going to the websites that you frequented in your addictions, block offending material however possible, destroy magazines that you may have. It's a lot easier to control the mind from sexual gratification via fantasies once its been deprived of sources from which to draw inspiration.
I would make sure your life is stress free first considering masturbation is an excellent anti-depressant, for example when you seccure a job would be the best time
But wouldnt that make him get a masturbation addiction if he does what your saying?Aylaine said:As Ana said, friends would be better. Honestly I would just take it one day at a time, and if you have a sexual urge come on, don't go watch porn. Masturbate instead. Think of someone you arte attracted to or someone you want, and make that your 'drive' to go about this way instead. If you power through each day with a more natural, healthy alternative (masturbation) stay ontop of it in your head (willpower) and hang out more with friends ask them for help (distraction) I believe you can kick the addiction. Additionally, Video Games may also be a good way to distract yourself.godfist88 said:
I hope this helps!
I would say make sure you're busy all the time, or at least have something else to think about than porn. I was in the same situation, but it's gotten better lately since I've been keeping busy learning Japanese and playing games, and I notice it's been days or weeks since I last looked at some. It may not be the fastest solution, but it seems to work.
Well sometimes it does happenAylaine said:That depends really. Just because he is addicted to one particular sexual activity doesn't mean he will develop the same addiction in another sexual activity.Marik2 said:But wouldn't that make him get a masturbation addiction if he does what your saying?Aylaine said:As Ana said, friends would be better. Honestly I would just take it one day at a time, and if you have a sexual urge come on, don't go watch porn. Masturbate instead. Think of someone you arte attracted to or someone you want, and make that your 'drive' to go about this way instead. If you power through each day with a more natural, healthy alternative (masturbation) stay ontop of it in your head (willpower) and hang out more with friends ask them for help (distraction) I believe you can kick the addiction. Additionally, Video Games may also be a good way to distract yourself.godfist88 said:
I hope this helps!
Im just gonna go with the "better safe than sorry" response
i was actually kind worried about that myself. maybe i could do some physical exercise. could that help controll the urges?Marik2 said:Well sometimes it does happenAylaine said:That depends really. Just because he is addicted to one particular sexual activity doesn't mean he will develop the same addiction in another sexual activity.Marik2 said:But wouldn't that make him get a masturbation addiction if he does what your saying?Aylaine said:As Ana said, friends would be better. Honestly I would just take it one day at a time, and if you have a sexual urge come on, don't go watch porn. Masturbate instead. Think of someone you arte attracted to or someone you want, and make that your 'drive' to go about this way instead. If you power through each day with a more natural, healthy alternative (masturbation) stay ontop of it in your head (willpower) and hang out more with friends ask them for help (distraction) I believe you can kick the addiction. Additionally, Video Games may also be a good way to distract yourself.godfist88 said:
I hope this helps!
Im just gonna go with the "better safe than sorry" response
Yes definitely , exercising takes your mind of from urges and things.godfist88 said:i was actually kind worried about that myself. maybe i could do some physical exercise. could that help controll the urges?Marik2 said:Well sometimes it does happenAylaine said:That depends really. Just because he is addicted to one particular sexual activity doesn't mean he will develop the same addiction in another sexual activity.Marik2 said:But wouldn't that make him get a masturbation addiction if he does what your saying?Aylaine said:As Ana said, friends would be better. Honestly I would just take it one day at a time, and if you have a sexual urge come on, don't go watch porn. Masturbate instead. Think of someone you arte attracted to or someone you want, and make that your 'drive' to go about this way instead. If you power through each day with a more natural, healthy alternative (masturbation) stay ontop of it in your head (willpower) and hang out more with friends ask them for help (distraction) I believe you can kick the addiction. Additionally, Video Games may also be a good way to distract yourself.godfist88 said:
I hope this helps!
Im just gonna go with the "better safe than sorry" response
Plus you get into shape so its a 2 for 1 deal