Portal 2 :: a "review"

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Stranger of Sorts

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Aug 23, 2009
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[img_inline caption="Portal 2, it's here!" height="100" align="left"]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/cc/Portal2_logo.png/252px-Portal2_logo.png [/img_inline] [HEADING=2]A Stranger "reviews" [/HEADING][HEADING=1][HEADING=2][/HEADING][/HEADING]
[HEADING=1][color=a1a9f9]Portal 2[/color][/HEADING]
[h4]Oh come on, someone had to do it![/h4]

This article contains a small amount of information gained from Wikipedia that may or may not be considered as spoilers as to what is to come, nothing story wise but some game mechanics are included. Keep in mind a large amount of this is pure speculation from someone who's bored and has a nasty habit of writing things on the internet. Without further ado, let's get on with it

After three years of delay, Portal 2 has finally hit the shelves on its final release date of late 2013. For those that haven't encountered this game, or indeed the first, should know that Portal 2 is a hybrid of a first-person shooter and a puzzle game. Call it a first-person puzzler if you will. This game has been hyped to the heavens since the first was so successful with its charming simplicity, challenging puzzles and particular brand of ultra-dark humour. Does this game live up to the hype?

What Valve have cleverly done is to give us more of the same, but with a little extra to spice it up a bit. The portal mechanics still play a vital role in the game and the first few chambers in the overgrown Aperture Science Laboratories focus solely on that. It helps the player feel at home and gradually gets them back into the feel of things such as using the portals to redirect energy spheres or using gravity to fly across a room. The additions do nothing to disrupt the old game's style, but they add to it. You can now redirect air currents or even tractor beams to either get to previously unreachable places or bring the previous unreachable objects toward you. For the first few chambers this is great, although it slowly starts to feel like a gimmick as it's slowly taken out again in favour of the Portal 1 style of puzzles. What further serves to disappoint is the fact that you can still only place portals on stationary objects, which cancels out a huge opportunity for more intuitive puzzles.

[img_inline caption="Welcome home Chell." align="right"]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/71/Portal2-testchamber.jpg/220px-Portal2-testchamber.jpg[/img_inline]The largest difference in gameplay, compared to the first game, is the paint mechanic. You can spray a certain paint onto a wall or an object that you are standing next to, this will change its properties: making Chell[footnote]the main character[/footnote] move faster, jump higher or even[footnote]the things that went through my head at this point where as follows: undress Chell (yeh I'm 16 so that was the first thing that came into my head), turn her into a robot, turn the portal gun into a proper gun, act as a third portal, act as a cake dispenser or play soothing music when you go near it.[/footnote] making the object a magnet for energy spheres. It shakes up the game a lot and for the levels where it is available (again it is somewhat of a gimmick) it allows for alternate solutions to puzzles. It is a credit to Portal 2's game testers that no exploits of this have been found. Although I'm sure, that with enough time, there will be ways found to do each level in mere seconds.

The characters have their ups and downs too, GLADOS is back and angry that you tried to kill her (/it?) at the end of the first game. She spouts a few one liners every now and again that no doubt have already been quoted to death on the internet[footnote]time of writing is an hour after the midnight launch on Steam. Fanboys never fail to impress with their devotion to ruining the game for everyone else[/footnote], the problem is that I just don't feel the same sense of awe as with the first game. The charm of Portal came as a surprise, but with Portal 2 it was expected and while I think that it is most definitely present, it isn't fresh. Also, while the jokes will be passed around for a while here on the internet, there is nothing as endearing as "the cake is a lie". I would love to give examples, but I'm afraid of ruining it for you[footnote]See what I did there?[/footnote].

Some new additions to the cast include the robots that are controlled by the players in coop mode. These are both lovingly designed to the most minute detail and consist of a modified turret gun and a modified personality core from GLADOS. It changes the game somewhat as when you play as the robots, it is them that spout the one liners instead of GLADOS. They both have defined personalities with the turret being somewhat of a wimp and the personality core being a schizophrenic. These additions are probably my favourite thing about Portal 2.

The coop mode works with both players having their separate Portal guns that work independently of each other. You can still walk through each others' portals so it can lead to some very interesting scenarios. The puzzles themselves are a lot harder than the solo ones, with the most tricky requiring both players to provide each other portals to reach an objective in a set amount of time. This means that communication is vital but it's made even harder when you consider the fun that's to be had with portals. Remember in the first Portal where you could make yourself "fall forever" by placing a portal on the ground and one directly above it on the ceiling? Well, imagine what happens when you realise that you can do this to other people.

[img_inline caption="Love. Us." align="left"]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/9f/Portal2_coop_characters.jpg/220px-Portal2_coop_characters.jpg[/img_inline]
The art style has not been changed dramatically, it is still relatively simple with primary colouring but this time it is overlayed with plants and mud. It gives Portal 2 a nice, desolate feel that helps the player become increasingly engrossed in the experience. Which is vital if they want people to buy Portal 2: Episode 1 that was hinted at in the frustrating, cliff-hanger ending.

Verdict

You're not getting much new with Portal 2, if you scrub off the polish then it is effectively a mod of the first game. A good one, but still it just doesn't feel like they've added enough. Though that does mean that if you loved the first game, you'll undoubtedly love this one too. So if you've got the money, scoot over to Steam and buy it for a measly £60 ($100).

 

Oh, it seems Steam has crashed from the millions of people downloading at once, looks like you'll all have to wait for another few days before you get to play it.

Previous article: Ratchet and Clank 3 :: a nostalgia heavy review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.201727-Ratchet-and-Clank-3-a-nostalgia-heavy-review]

Next Article: Red Dead Redemption :: last onto the bandwagon [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.210558-Red-Dead-Redemption-last-onto-the-bandwagon-a-review-by-a-Stranger]


EDIT: The purpose of this article was to beat everyone else to the rush to review such a huge release, it also contains some very bad jokes. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it.
 

xvbones

New member
Oct 29, 2009
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i am... very confused as to why you have chosen to write a review for a game that does not exist yet and have chosen to play it completely straight.

i was very much expecting at least a little bit of piss being taken here, but if you are, I've missed it.

Am... am I supposed to be taking anything about this seriously or did you actually write a review based on a wikipedia article?
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,226
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xvbones said:
i am... very confused as to why you have chosen to write a review for a game that does not exist yet and have chosen to play it completely straight.

i was very much expecting at least a little bit of piss being taken here, but if you are, I've missed it.

Am... am I supposed to be taking anything about this seriously or did you actually write a review based on a wikipedia article?
Yes, yes I did. :)

It's not completely straight. The jokes are just more subtle and need some Valve trivia to be got.

Chronamut said:
Is this a very, very, very cleverly written joke or are you a time traveller? :(
Nah nothing that cool, I can only see the future.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,226
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xvbones said:
(nah, forget i said anything. carry on.)
What did you say? I'm interested now.

Ahah, found it! I can see what you're getting at but I didn't want to desend into "internet humour" and by that I mean "silly humour". I could have said "the player now controls GLADOS, a robot who is forced to undergo tests to appease her oppressor, Chell" but that stuff is far too easy to come up with.

easy evil said:
gabe newell is that you?
Nice but nothing I didn?t know already
No, it's his evil twin (and slightly skinnier) brother.

Well... apart from the stuff I made up.
 

Mathew Pond

New member
Apr 4, 2010
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well, and this may be my valve fan-boyism coming through, but writing this makes you seem extremely pretentious.... I mean, you've already givin' up on arguably the freshest new franchise out there! Just sayin'.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,226
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Mathew Pond said:
well, and this may be my valve fan-boyism coming through, but writing this makes you seem extremely pretentious.... I mean, you've already givin' up on arguably the freshest new franchise out there! Just sayin'.
I'm just getting you ready for the inevitable disappointment that the game hasn't lived won't live up to everyone's sky-high expectations. I hope it does, but it won't.

Are you aware that there's a relatively unknown, but quite good indie band called Matt Pond?
 

domble

Senior Member
Sep 2, 2009
761
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21
haha good stuff man, redefining the word "deadpan" and whatnot :D

I think you're gonna be right though, it's just gonna feel like an expansion pack rather than a sequel. But still, in Valve we trust...
 

LostTimeLady

New member
Dec 17, 2009
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Stranger of Sorts said:
You're not getting much new with Portal 2, if you scrub off the polish then it is effectively a mod of the first game. A good one, but still it just doesn't feel like they've added enough. Though that does mean that if you loved the first game, you'll undoubtedly love this one too. So if you've got the money, scoot over to Steam and buy it for a measly £60 ($100).
Wow, if Portal 2 is going to cost £60 in 2013 I fear how much a loaf of bread will cost with that kind of inflation!
Anyway, good 'review', it certainly gives a nice summary of what has been hinted at and what we can expect (possibly) from the game in a few years. Let's hope by then they do come up with some new and interesting additions to the gameplay.
 

xvbones

New member
Oct 29, 2009
528
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Stranger of Sorts said:
xvbones said:
(nah, forget i said anything. carry on.)
What did you say? I'm interested now.

Ahah, found it! I can see what you're getting at but I didn't want to desend into "internet humour" and by that I mean "silly humour". I could have said "the player now controls GLADOS, a robot who is forced to undergo tests to appease her oppressor, Chell" but that stuff is far too easy to come up with.
Well, no, actually, I don't really care for "silly" humor.
I have, however, made a good living and bought a house off of satire.
Offering to give advice on the matter seemed... a little pretentious, so I removed the post as best I could.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,226
0
0
xvbones said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
xvbones said:
(nah, forget i said anything. carry on.)
What did you say? I'm interested now.

Ahah, found it! I can see what you're getting at but I didn't want to desend into "internet humour" and by that I mean "silly humour". I could have said "the player now controls GLADOS, a robot who is forced to undergo tests to appease her oppressor, Chell" but that stuff is far too easy to come up with.
Well, no, actually, I don't really care for "silly" humor.
I have, however, made a good living and bought a house off of satire.
Offering to give advice on the matter seemed... a little pretentious, so I removed the post as best I could.
Writing satire or speaking it? They are entirely different things and I don't think I'm at the stage where I can incorporate it properly. If you want to give advice then fire away, I'm always open to suggestions.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,226
0
0
domble said:
haha good stuff man, redefining the word "deadpan" and whatnot :D

I think you're gonna be right though, it's just gonna feel like an expansion pack rather than a sequel. But still, in Valve we trust...
The only thing that will stop that feeling is the coop, when it arrives I shotgun the schizophrenic personality core.

easy evil said:
You I made it up NOOOOOO gabe newell lied to me !!!!!!
It's about half and half, generally each list I do will have both things that have been unveiled and things I have made up.

LostTimeLady said:
Wow, if Portal 2 is going to cost £60 in 2013 I fear how much a loaf of bread will cost with that kind of inflation!
Anyway, good 'review', it certainly gives a nice summary of what has been hinted at and what we can expect (possibly) from the game in a few years. Let's hope by then they do come up with some new and interesting additions to the gameplay.
There has been minimal inflation, in fact in 2013 £60 is very cheap for a game. There was a huge rise in price after the success of Modern Warfare 3 which retailed at £100.
 

SlyderEST

GfWL hater
Apr 7, 2010
237
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0
Stranger of Sorts said:
domble said:
haha good stuff man, redefining the word "deadpan" and whatnot :D

I think you're gonna be right though, it's just gonna feel like an expansion pack rather than a sequel. But still, in Valve we trust...
The only thing that will stop that feeling is the coop, when it arrives I shotgun the schizophrenic personality core.

easy evil said:
You I made it up NOOOOOO gabe newell lied to me !!!!!!
It's about half and half, generally each list I do will have both things that have been unveiled and things I have made up.

LostTimeLady said:
Wow, if Portal 2 is going to cost £60 in 2013 I fear how much a loaf of bread will cost with that kind of inflation!
Anyway, good 'review', it certainly gives a nice summary of what has been hinted at and what we can expect (possibly) from the game in a few years. Let's hope by then they do come up with some new and interesting additions to the gameplay.
There has been minimal inflation, in fact in 2013 £60 is very cheap for a game. There was a huge rise in price after the success of Modern Warfare 3 which retailed at £100.
You mean the Call of Duty IX: Modern Warfare III, right?

And I'd like to know: how many Final Fantasy games will be released in the nearby future? And will I ever start playing those games when they actually make a new series?
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,226
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SlyderEST said:
You mean the Call of Duty IX: Modern Warfare III, right?
Call of Duty X actually, it takes them a long time to finish it so Treyarch makes another one in that time.
And I'd like to know: how many Final Fantasy games will be released in the nearby future? And will I ever start playing those games when they actually make a new series?
Square Enix spend the next 5 years after releasing Final Fantasy 14 (a complete failure) concentrating solely on Final Fantasy 7 spin-offs.
 

SlyderEST

GfWL hater
Apr 7, 2010
237
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
SlyderEST said:
You mean the Call of Duty IX: Modern Warfare III, right?
Call of Duty X actually, it takes them a long time to finish it so Treyarch makes another one in that time.
And I'd like to know: how many Final Fantasy games will be released in the nearby future? And will I ever start playing those games when they actually make a new series?
Square Enix spend the next 5 years after releasing Final Fantasy 14 (a complete failure) concentrating solely on Final Fantasy 7 spin-offs.
Interesting... Well, not really. Pretty much expected.

I have some other questions about gaming related stuff.

When will the flame wars end and we will together start opposing the real enemy, the people who hate gaming?

Will Microsoft's and Ubisoft's DRM(GFWL and Ubisomething) ever die?

And most importantly: When are Heavy Rain and Red Dead: Redemption released for the PC?
 

xvbones

New member
Oct 29, 2009
528
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0
Stranger of Sorts said:
xvbones said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
xvbones said:
(nah, forget i said anything. carry on.)
What did you say? I'm interested now.

Ahah, found it! I can see what you're getting at but I didn't want to desend into "internet humour" and by that I mean "silly humour". I could have said "the player now controls GLADOS, a robot who is forced to undergo tests to appease her oppressor, Chell" but that stuff is far too easy to come up with.
Well, no, actually, I don't really care for "silly" humor.
I have, however, made a good living and bought a house off of satire.
Offering to give advice on the matter seemed... a little pretentious, so I removed the post as best I could.
Writing satire or speaking it? They are entirely different things and I don't think I'm at the stage where I can incorporate it properly. If you want to give advice then fire away, I'm always open to suggestions.
Speaking satire? What, you mean stand-up comedy? What the hell are you... no, I just wanted to...

No, you know what, I'm done. <3, sorry to trouble you, good night and good luck.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,226
0
0
xvbones said:
Speaking satire? What, you mean stand-up comedy? What the hell are you... no, I just wanted to...

No, you know what, I'm done. <3, sorry to trouble you, good night and good luck.
No, not stand-up. Satirical comments are usually made/broken on the delivery. When typing you have to be able to deliver in a different way as obviously tone is no longer an option. Also sir, you need to work a great deal on the subtlety of your insults.
SlyderEST said:
When will the flame wars end and we will together start opposing the real enemy, the people who hate gaming?

Will Microsoft's and Ubisoft's DRM(GFWL and Ubisomething) ever die?

And most importantly: When are Heavy Rain and Red Dead: Redemption released for the PC?
1. Eventually gamers will kill each other in the "Nintendo-Everyone else" war that starts in 2011 thanks to a misjudged post in a holo-blog by an Apple employee. Anti-Gamers simply clean up whoever is left standing.

2. The DRM will succeed thanks to a new feature that is introduced which actually causes pirates' computers to explode.

3. Heavy Rain will never be released. Give it a year and Red Dead Redemption will eventually be ported, although it will be sold at full price and be incredibly glitch-y.
 

xvbones

New member
Oct 29, 2009
528
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Stranger of Sorts said:
xvbones said:
Speaking satire? What, you mean stand-up comedy? What the hell are you... no, I just wanted to...

No, you know what, I'm done. <3, sorry to trouble you, good night and good luck.
No, not stand-up. Satirical comments are usually made/broken on the delivery. When typing you have to be able to deliver in a different way as obviously tone is no longer an option.
Indeed, but I don't see where you got that from the bit about how satire bought me a house.

Also sir, you need to work a great deal on the subtlety of your insults.
I'm missing the part where I insulted you at all.

Actually, re-reading my comments, it really seems like I've gone out of my way not to insult you.

So, I'll see your comment and raise you a 'you need to work a great deal on recognizing when you have and have not been insulted'.