TJC said:
*facepalm*
Look, Team Ninja, it's okay to like tits. Everybody like boobies. They're fun to look at, fun to play with and fun to smoosh your face in and go HUBBALUBBALUBBALUBBA. Now I personally prefer them in a more manageable size (read: not so big that they create their own laws of physics) but as a whole, I like boobs. There's nothing wrong in admitting to that. Frankly, if you'd said that you like jubblies and love making up weird jigglies for them, I would've applauded you for staying true to your own style where even the word "girlfriend" in videogame development leads to a ridiculous shitstorm.
But for fuck's sake... trying to justify sexualization as part of Japanese culture? This is insulting to both you and the culture you claim to defend. Saying "guys, I like dem titties and Imma make a game with copious amounts of huge titties because I like dem titties" is a-ok. Claiming that this is some sort of cultural service to your country is cowardly beyond words.
Seriously, who the fuck keeps giving game developer a microphone? Haven't we learned by now that they're apparently to dumb to brain beyond creating videogames?
I simply quote this because it literally made me laugh out loud, thank you for that sir/mam, you get my internetz for today.
And I agree, Team Ninja should just go ahead and be completely open.
I can see the press release now:
"We at Team Ninja have decided to finally come forth on a matter that has riled humanity as a whole and nearly started World War V, a War so badass that it would have skipped right over III and IV. Our stance on the breasts of our female characters. Earlier, we claimed, that these breasts were designed to appeal to a mature gamer audience that appreciates the shape of the female body in a classy, artsy way. We also made the claim, that these designs sprang from roots deeply engrained in our culture. However, these statements were not completely accurate.
The honest truth is: We like boobies. Milkbags, Melons, Knockers, Mammaries, Assets, Bazookas, whatever you want to call them, we like them. And I personally appreciate breasts in all sizes and shapes, but our lead designer has a thing for gargantuan jigglypuffs which is why he decided to make every jellybonker of such huge proportions, that, by right, they should have their own gravitational pull, and, in fact, if you manage to get an apple into the game and throw it at a female characters bristols, it will orbit around them.
Again, I am not opposed to having smaller breasts in games, but we wanted to see how far we could push it before everyone would cry out against us. We coded parts of the game so that every chesticle would be individually moved by it's own physics engine and we enjoyed that, not because these bouncing bazongas aroused us, but because it gave us a sense of boyish glee to push the envelope of kahunas in games even further.
In short, we did it, because we, at Team Ninja, fully subscribe to the notion of liking sweater puppies and we shall not apologize for that.
We are deeply sorry however, about the civil wars we caused in some parts of the world, where gamers and non-gamers alike took to weapons over this issue. Tis tragic, that something as beatuiful and wondrous as female breasts would incite such violence. Our hearts are with the families of the fallen.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to go, I am in dire need of a good HUBBALUBBALUBBA.
