vanthebaron said:
Cypher10110 said:
I don't think you understand my point, I WAS a Karate student, I know this, I just think it's a load of crap that simple self-restraint is something that need to be tough, I think that you honor is extremely overplayed (ex: in my fight in middle school when I was jumped by 2 kids, honor meant jack shit the only thing that was important was to make sure that my lip was the only thing that got bloody). you see in a really fight respect and honor only end up getting you beat, restraint is the only things that matter, next to surviving.
Ok, did you ever think "why did this fight happen?" beyond the 10minute time frame of it's existence?
When people feel they've been disrespected they feel angry or ashamed. Let's say mr.alpha male shouts from across the room (infront of his friends) "nice hair, douchebag!", and you reply "eat it" and give him the finger.
You've just disrespected him. If he does nothing about it, he'll seem weak, letting a "lesser man" get away with something like that. If he confronts you, he better show everyone who's boss.
So a fight happens, and the asshole instigator (and his friends, just in-case you can actually fight back) beat the shit out of you, to "put you in your place".
Can you see how respect is there weather it's measured or not? If in the first instant, you were intimidating enough to snap him out of being an asshole to you, the fight wouldn't ever happen. Imagine maybe a different situation, where you are a rival alpha male, someone he would consider and equal and a rival.
You make a move he'll think twice about retaliating. And chances are that he'll only start something when he feels he's got the advantage, things like getting you caught "starting a fight" with him, when really it's him starting it, that sort of thing.
Everyone is different, but if you know your enemy well enough you can see these sort of scenarios.
I understand that teaching a kid "respect" as a martial arts trainer is a tough job tho, because at the end of the day kids just want to "learn to fight". Life is one big conflict though, and the idea of martial arts is to give you perspective and confidence to tackle problems in life. If someone is verbally being a douche, you can counter him without fear (which is real important when trying to command respect) because you feel confident in your physical position and your moral position.
"What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels at winning with ease, so his victories bring him neither reputation for wisdom nor credit for courage."
Your typical school bully has a huge advantage over the average mark, that is why he wins. He commands fear and a level of respect with his friends, but I bet most of the school know that he's a dick.
Why do you think it was 2-1? because he knows how much easier it is, because he needs someone else to tell the story to the others, loads of reasons.
Personally I feel respect is the most valued thing in the world. With another person's respect you form a strong bond. Be that as friends, allies, team-mates, partners, co-workers, or lovers.
Think of respect as "I know what you can do, and I do not take that lightly". In different context this becomes different things. I personally respect the power of a firearm, if I were ever in a situation where there was a gunman I would surrender without question, I would RESPECT the firearm. Doesn't mean I like it, it just means that I understand that the risk I would take fighting unarmed against an armed opponent is too great for me to try. However I would be ready for an opportunity to take control, and I would act quickly.
"A skilled fighter puts himself beyond the possibility of defeat, and waits for an opportunity to defeat the enemy."
In case it matters, I had a handful of fights in my school life, everyone was started by another, after everyone I was punished, and I earned a reputation of having a very short and fierce temper. I was bullied alot, and I was weak but would never back down, so I would always lose but I would always fight. My mind was never defeated, I would never surrender, but I would never win either.
Now that I'm older I tend to tackle problems carefully.