Problems with sex

[axlryder]

Awkward thread time, but I figured, what the hell? This forum could use some spicing up.

also, this thread contains explicitly adult content if you couldn't already tell.

So initially I had always been under the impression that I didn't last long enough and wasn't big enough.

Now I'm dating my current girlfriend and, well, I'm having the opposite problem.

She's saying she wishes I was smaller because it hurts afterwards no matter what I do and that she can't feel it moving around inside because it just completely fills her up and stretches her out. This is with a ton of foreplay btw. She says she really enjoys it a lot, and I'm fairly positive she's not lying given the spasms and flushing, but it's still frustrating knowing it could be better for her.

On top of that, I can't ejaculate. We probably had sex like a total of 5 hours yesterday. The skin is actually rubbing off. It was bleeding at one point. But I just can't ejaculate. It's the most frustrating thing in the world. I mean, people always make a big deal about lasting a long time, but there is such a thing as too fucking long. We've tried practically everything too. I can't even do it myself when she's there. Even she's getting (understandably) frustrated with it. I find her very attractive too, so physical appearance isn't a factor.

Feel free to give advice or share your sexual frustrations.

 

[Fappy]

Oh man, this is an awkward one XD

Technique is important, and if there are some... size comparability issues, it'll just take some time to figure out what works for you two. It really does come down to practice makes perfect. If you're still having issues with the grand finale don't be afraid to fly solo for a bit to get yourself closer before going back in.

Now I feel dirty >.>

 

[Jux]

Do you have preformance anxiety issues? That could be a factor in not being able to finish. I suppose condoms also deaden the sensation, but I'm not giving advice to not use birth control. >.>

 

[Danny Ocean]

On top of that, I can't ejaculate. We probably had sex like a total of 5 hours yesterday. The skin is actually rubbing off. It was bleeding at one point. But I just can't ejaculate.

I know that feel, bro. I once encountered a girl who I couldn't even fit into. Even with a condom on to deaden the sensation. Turns out their size varies just like ours. By contrast, I fill up my current girlfriend perfectly.

First off, can you finish yourself off, or do you have problems there too?

You sound like you might have performance anxiety- she says she's enjoying the sensation but you don't think you're doing well enough.

Try not jacking off for a a while then having sex with her.

Also adjust the angle.

She says she's enjoying it, man, just relax. Try getting her to go on top so she can control the amount and angle of penetration.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I kinda expected there to be a thing at the end saying, "I don't want advice, I just wanted to tell someone!"

Haha. xD

Anyway, have you been together long? It took nearly 2 months for my boyfriend to ejaculate during intercourse when we first got together which was frustrating for both of us. If you're anxious and thinking that you're hurting her or she isn't enjoying it it'll put strain on your performance.

Don't ever ever ever go for that long again until you bleed. You can seriously damage your bits that way. If you feel like nothing is happening, stop. Has she tried giving you oral?

The best thing is to just relax and enjoy yourself. Clear your mind of an worries and anxiety and just go with it.
I suggest using a lubricant that leaves a tingling sensation (Can I suggest Durex Play, strawberry flavour. It's tastes like Calpol!!) it usually works wonders for me.
After so long you'll go numb and won't be able to ejaculate. You need to explore your own body and sexuality a bit more to find out what gets you off. Try different speeds, try concentrating on different parts, try stimulating other parts of your body.

You should be okay when you get used to each other. If the problem persists, see a doctor because it'll be a medical problem rather than an emotional one.

 

[Shadowstar38]

Have you tried butt stuff yet? That could be your thing. Get her to put a glove on and grip your prostate.

Or, and I'm only suggesting this if you're of age, do what I do and get hammered. I'm usually able to finish whenever I do that.

And the fuck Eeevee?! I didn't expect something that explicit from you Where is your shame!

 

[axlryder]

Thanks for the advice guys. For the record, she's tried giving me oral, using her hand, and doing it in about 8 different positions. I've tried doing it myself and we've tried a couple of different little things that generally turn me on, but so far nothing has worked. It just starts to go numb after a very short period. I can keep it up pretty much indefinitely though. I do not have this problem when I am alone. I want to say it's a purely psychological thing, but the fact that the nerves are almost completely numb is what's frustrating. It's not like it's something I have any control over.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

For you: the most reliable way to prevent an orgasm is to focus on having an orgasm. You have to stop viewing sex as a means to an end and simply enjoy the shared experience. Talk to your girl and make sure she knows it's not a big deal if you don't finish. Also, cut out the sex for a while. Too much intercourse normalizes the sensation and raises your sensitivity thresholds. And whatever you do, don't masturbate. If you go a few weeks without popping, it'll definitely happen with her despite your anxiety.

For her: do a little research on positions. Some offer reduced penetration and/or increased freedom of movement. Assuming you do your homework and put in a little work, the odds of not finding a more enjoyable position (for her) are very slim. Extremely well-endowed men can have mutually enjoyable sexual relationships with very petite women. It just limits your options and range of motion, somewhat.

 

[EeveeElectro]

And the fuck Eeevee?! I didn't expect something that explicit from you Where is your shame!

=P You clearly don't know me very well.


OP, talk to your doctor. It sounds like a medical problem they might be able to help you with.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

First off: HURRAY; AWKWARD THREAD TIME.

Do you masturbate a lot, and if you do, do you exerte a lot of pressure? If so: Stop doing that and things will get better.
That's really all you need to do, if this turns out to be the case, since it might very well be that by doing so you have desensitized yourself to the point of needing a damn vice of a vagina.
EDIT: TO clarify: Don't stop masturbating entirely, but don't grip your member the way you would an evil banana you're trying to choke the life out of or a shaved guinea pig you try to crush in your palm.


Also, as far as size goes:
There really isn't a lot you can do (been there, done that), except give exceptional foreplay and kinda ease it in, maybe have her be on top, to see how far it goes and experiment with different positions (though I wouldn't recommend the spinning helicopter, hilarious as it may be)
Of course, you could try taking a carving-knife to your manhood and fashion it into something smaller, yet strangely delicate, with an intricate relief, but if you do so, I shall nominate you for the next Darwin's award.

 

[Psykoma]

As far as size goes: whenever I've heard a woman talk about having problems with the size of a guys dick, most of the time it's been because he was too big. From what I remember, when a woman's not aroused her vagina is only around 3-5 inches deep, and when she is aroused it can stretch to between 5 and 12 inches, and the width isn't infinite either.

If she is aroused when you two start, then you two may just just incompatible in that way.


As for your ejaculation problems, that may be a psychological thing, but really if you're able to keep it up for hours then I'd say get your ass to a doctor.


It might be that the pain she's feeling afterwards is a result of you two going at it for so long (girls chafe too, if you were bleeding it's entirely possible (and likely) that she was too), and not necessarily because of the size issue. So getting that fixed so you two finish in a reasonable amount of time may cut down on her after-pain as well?

 

[axlryder]

First off: HURRAY; AWKWARD THREAD TIME.

Do you masturbate a lot, and if you do, do you exerte a lot of pressure? If so: Stop doing that and things will get better.
That's really all you need to do, if this turns out to be the case, since it might very well be that by doing so you have desensitized yourself to the point of needing a damn vice of a vagina.
EDIT: TO clarify: Don't stop masturbating entirely, but don't grip your member the way you would an evil banana you're trying to choke the life out of or a shaved guinea pig you try to crush in your palm.


Also, as far as size goes:
There really isn't a lot you can do (been there, done that), except give exceptional foreplay and kinda ease it in, maybe have her be on top, to see how far it goes and experiment with different positions (though I wouldn't recommend the spinning helicopter, hilarious as it may be)
Of course, you could try taking a carving-knife to your manhood and fashion it into something smaller, yet strangely delicate, with an intricate relief, but if you do so, I shall nominate you for the next Darwin's award.

while not wildly revelatory, I have to say that his was nonetheless an extremely entertaining post.

Also, good news. it happened. I think it was partially an issue with relaxing and partially an issue with having conditioned myself to only respond to specific patterns of stimulation. So, maybe that tid-bit will help out someone else who might be suffering from a similar issue.

Apparently she's also growing more accustomed to my particular dimensions, so happy day all around. Still a bit of a pain for both of us to get things going though.

 

[Simalacrum]

Unfortunately I'm no expert in the matters of sex (*sniff*), but I might be able to direct you to somewhere, as well as the doctors? have you ever heard of a YouTube channel called 'Sexplanations'? It may be worth leaving a comment/sending a message to the channel, and hoping that they respond; its hosted by a professional sexologist, so they'd probably know whats up and what might help.

 

[teisjm]

I used to have the same problem, and i remember the frustration. I would've never thought finishing in less than 5 min could feel like a victory.

Stop worrying about, whether you come or not. Stop worrying about whether she comes (possibly by licking her all the way to an orgasm as foreplay) Basicly, try to empty your mind while you have sex, and your nuts will follow suite.
It might help you, to try to ask her to incriace her sounds a bit, nothing like porn-faking it, but just beeing a bit more vocal when it feels nice, it'll make you more confident in that you're doing good, and at least to me, female pleasure is a hefty turn-on.

Also, as someone mentioned above, stop masturbating, just stop all together, and don't worry about how you might come too early is it's been a week since you dropped a load. If you do, you can always last an hour for round 2.
You don't have to stop for good, just hold it back untill you've solved your problems.
ofcourse if you know it'll be weeks before you see each other don't worry, just let the preassure build up for some days prior to having sex. Consider it a short term loss for a much better long term gain if you will.

Have you been together for a long time? you'll grow more comfortable with time, and it'll help as well.
Also, while i will not recommend unsafe sex, comdoms can really reduce the sensitivity, i didn't come durring sex untill i tried it without rubber (with a girlfriend, i'd been with for some months) though i've managed to do so later on.

Beeing moderately drunk or high might help you relax a bit as well. But don't break the law just to bust a nut.

Also, think of lara croft, doing lara croft, in front of an audience of multiple lara crofts.

As for the size problem, no matter how wet she gets, you'll prolly just have to ease into it. My girlfriend needs it to be gentle at first, even if she came durring foreplay and is as wet as a jellyfish (rather unsexy comparission, i know) but after a few minnutes, we can proceed with less caution.
kinda like that tenacious-d song now that i think of it

If all else fails, you can always try to find pleassure in bragging to your bro's about beeing hung like a horse with the endurance of a marathon runner.