Programmer Writes Scripts To Automate His Job, Email Wife, And Make Lattes

[busterkeatonrules]

Hey, the dude was hired as a programmer - and only a programmer could have programmed this sort of setup. I say he's earned his pay.

What? He got his job done, didn't he?

 

[frizzlebyte]

Really, if all that stuff *literally* comprised the entity known as His Job, then he figured out how to do it the smart way. Clearly the automation process didn't have a negative effect on the company, and freed him to do other things, but if the higher-ups weren't giving him assignments that actually took brain-power in order to "earn" his paycheck, that's not his problem. If anything, he learned how to survive automation, the introduction of which usually results in jobs lost.

Essentially, I see nothing unethical about his actions at all.

 

[Cowabungaa]

So many posts and someone has yet to point out:

Automating texts to your wife?! Not cool bro, not cool.

 

[chikusho]

Honestly, this guy seems like a model employee. Like, a being of pure efficiency. Companies should be fighting bare-knuckle death matches to hire this guy.

 

[alj]

Its called doing your job, i work in the IT field too and the ultimate goal is to automate everything.

If you can automate to that level you are just good at your job.

The one where he automatically rolls back the DB for the user who keeps breaking it is hilarious, i have done similar , there was a user who always locked themselves out all the time, checking the AD logs it was not one thing it could be anything ! So i jsut wrote a script and left it running on the main AD controller to unlock her account every 30 seconds. No more nucence calls.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Yeah the ultimate problem of automation, people are perfectly happy if you repeat the same mundane shit without thought for 30+ years, but the moment you find something that does that crap better shit hits the fan.
I got to admit my folder of scripts also ranges pretty damn far, but it is mostly constrained to personal use because bosses get itchy fingers if things get done too well.

 

[Creator002]

I've done similar on a much smaller scale when I worked at a call centre. Some of the codes for booking country tickets could be confusing[footnote]1ADUOPS = 1 adult fare off-peak. 2ADUORD = 2 adult fares on-peak. 1FREORD.3CHIOPC = 1 free fare, 3 child fares off-peak and so on (not 100% sure if those are right, though).[/footnote], so I made a program. You typed in how many people and chose which fare and it would auto-generate the code and copy it to the clipboard. I was told I couldn't load foreign programs onto the machines, but I kept doing it. I got through way more calls that way.

 

[Weaver]

Was this not a fake story? I belive its from a Russian QDB with dubious veracity. How many coffee machines have a network interface card?

The linked scripts are simply replications by a reddit user: https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/3tmizl/now_thats_what_i_call_a_hacker/cx87vtc

As a programmer if you actually read the scripts half of them don't even do what they say they do.

 

[Denamic]

How many coffee machines have a network interface card?

Some do so people know when to refill and when it reports an error. A network card isn't exactly rare or expensive, and having the machine tell you what's up is better than waiting for the customers to complain.

 

[Weaver]

How many coffee machines have a network interface card?

Some do so people know when to refill and when it reports an error. A network card isn't exactly rare or expensive, and having the machine tell you what's up is better than waiting for the customers to complain.

Okay, and if you read the script: How many coffee machines have a goddamn telnet server running?

This is fake, plain and simple.

 

[Denamic]

How many coffee machines have a network interface card?

Some do so people know when to refill and when it reports an error. A network card isn't exactly rare or expensive, and having the machine tell you what's up is better than waiting for the customers to complain.

Okay, and if you read the script: How many coffee machines have a goddamn telnet server running?

This is fake, plain and simple.

I don't know. I'm not current on coffee machine networking protocols.
Also, these aren't the actual scripts made by the programmer in question. You said it yourself; they're simple scripts made approximately as they're described by redditors just because they could.

 

[Arnoxthe1]

So many posts and someone has yet to point out:

Automating texts to your wife?! Not cool bro, not cool.

Actually, believe it or not, I think it's just fine. It only sent her those texts if he was gonna be late coming home. They're really just routine texts. If anything, it's a very helpful script, letting his wife know what's going on, even if he forgets to send the texts.

 

[wildstars]

Personally I'd only automate so much, but leave a few aspects out that make me essential to keep on. If I owned the company and found out an employee did this, they'd be out of a job, not fired but rather the position will no longer exist because it was made obsolete. Never put yourself out of a job. Depending on the person, I'd possibly put them in a different position, making the company more efficient by way of scripting if it could happen, but if there was no more need for him, he'd be pink slipped.
Nothing personal, I just don't see a reason to pay someone to sit on ass all day.

Just an FYI for anybody who thinks this is a brilliant idea, it's not. In a shorter period of time than you would imagine, some change will occur in your enterprise environment breaking those scripts. Depending on the criticality of the now broken function you will have to divert resources to get it fixed in an acceptable amount of time. I've seen this happen more than once, and every time, it has cost way more to resolve than was saved by the headcount reduction. Also, they end up hiring another FTE to make sure the function is maintained going forward.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Depends on how far he takes it. Data entry is a good example of something that should be automated if possible. At the end of the day it's just a timesink. Automatic responses to unique emails though? That's very unprofessional.

At what point does 'Dave I broke it again,' cease to be a unique email?

I figure if somebody is so reliably buggering things up that you can automate the un-buggering process then they are not worthy of professional time or etiquette. They are the kind of idiot who will never learn from their mistakes, even if you explain it to them the noise will just go straight through without stopping. Although perhaps a better name for a script than 'asshole' would be advisable.

As for the programmer himself, it's time for a promotion since he clearly knows far more about the network and it's security than the people supposedly in charge of it.

Not necessarily, I was once one of the individuals in charge of network security. It is far harder to lock down a network than you would think, especially from within. And that is if you are allowed to practice proper security at all, which you often are not because upping security lowers usability.

Yep. Why would network security be any different?

Physical security is the same. Locking your door is more secure than not doing it, but it slows down opening the door.

Even better, in a large building, security and fire safety are contradictory forces. You can do one or the other perfectly, but probably not both...

But seriously, security is a pain in the ass a lot of the time. I know my computers aren't really secure, but securing them properly wouldn't be worth the effort for what's on them, and the consequences to me of doing so...

And then there's the modern trend towards whole-drive encryption. That's great and all, but the prospect of someone stealing my hard drive and being able to see the contents is far less important to me than the consequences of a hardware or software failure meaning I have to use alternate means to read the data.
Drive encryption would be a net loss to me most of the time, not a gain. (recoverability being more important than information security, for me personally)

Unsolvable problems. Yay!

OT: Well, that just shows his job was stupid.

I am firmly opposed to the concept of 'busywork' it's insulting to everyone involved.
If the only reason a person has a job is because of the expectation that people are supposed to have jobs, then there is something seriously wrong.

Giving people money to do literally nothing is better than giving them a job that is completely pointless and accomplishes nothing.
Unfortunately we still have a society so obsessed with people 'working for a living' that 'busywork' is the default solution even where technology shows up the absurdity of it all too frequently.

Sure, we aren't at the point where automation can replace all of us, but do we really want to be having this conversation when it's already too late?
Because if giving a human a job is redundant, what do you think will happen if we still dogmatically stick to the idea that you have to work to be entitled to get anything at all?

That will not end well at all...

But yeah, clever guy, I guess, if so many parts of his job were so mindless that a simple script could automate them, then clearly he did the most intelligent thing he could.

Work smarter, not harder.

Anyone that tells you hard work gets you ahead in life is lying. It can help, but it isn't the key to success.
The key to success is what you do with the time you spend working, not how much work you actually do.

Working 100 hours a week at a low paid retail job won't get you anywhere really...
Even though it is seriously hard work...

 

[Denamic]

OT: Well, that just shows his job was stupid.

I am firmly opposed to the concept of 'busywork' it's insulting to everyone involved.
If the only reason a person has a job is because of the expectation that people are supposed to have jobs, then there is something seriously wrong.

Giving people money to do literally nothing is better than giving them a job that is completely pointless and accomplishes nothing.
Unfortunately we still have a society so obsessed with people 'working for a living' that 'busywork' is the default solution even where technology shows up the absurdity of it all too frequently.

Sure, we aren't at the point where automation can replace all of us, but do we really want to be having this conversation when it's already too late?
Because if giving a human a job is redundant, what do you think will happen if we still dogmatically stick to the idea that you have to work to be entitled to get anything at all?

That will not end well at all...

But yeah, clever guy, I guess, if so many parts of his job were so mindless that a simple script could automate them, then clearly he did the most intelligent thing he could.

Work smarter, not harder.

Anyone that tells you hard work gets you ahead in life is lying. It can help, but it isn't the key to success.
The key to success is what you do with the time you spend working, not how much work you actually do.

Working 100 hours a week at a low paid retail job won't get you anywhere really...
Even though it is seriously hard work...

When you work on upkeep, you often have very little to do if you're good at your job. I mean, if your job is to fix, you're gonna have a lot of time on your hands when there's nothing to fix. These guys often gets fired because they're good at their job. They think because he seems to have a lot of time on his hands, he must not be working, so they get rid of him. Then they end up paying more on outsourcing when shit needs doing.

 

[Strazdas]

as somone that automated a lot of his work since i came to work here as well (though nothing to that extent), high-five to him.

if the job is so easy a script can do it then go ahead, if the company doesnt realize this, their fault. if they do, give the scriptwirter another job to write better scripts for more uses.
i dont see an ethical issue there.

meanwhile in the real world the most likely scenario is he gets fired, the scripts are left running and the company considers it "money saved". Until something breaks. then their loses will be even larger. but instant gratification is the modern jesus of capitalism.

 

[Angelous Wang]

We have a guy at my office who regularly corrupts an Access database that his entire life depends on.
Every time he calls asking us to fix it.
Every time we use the build in "Repair and Compact" button in Access and that resolves it.
Every time we show him where the button is and how to run the repair himself.

If I could automate my every interaction with him I would in a heartbeat

You can absolutely write a script to do this every time he sends you an email.

Microsoft programs are the easiest thing in the world to script because Microsoft has already pre-wrote script for virtually everything, you do not have to create it, you just need to find it somewhere on the internet.

I have wrote a scripts for many access/excel actions in my jobs over the years, though I always provided them as a solution to something for my employer rather than a secret thing to do my job for me.

Common ones include:
Automatic importing of spreadsheets received via email into database.
Automatic updating of front end database to users (because fuck ever trying to update a multi user database otherwise).
Automatic creation of spreadsheet reports from database.
Automatic installation of database to a user via an email with script attached.

Thinking about it I really could automate my job a hell of a lot more ...

 

[TallanKhan]

"but raises an interesting philosophical conundrum: If a programmer creates scripts to complete his work for him, does that still technically mean he's doing his job?"

To my mind the basis of any employment contract is "employee provides x, employer gives them money" and as such, the how is largely immaterial.

If I employ someone, it is because I have a need, and the person I hire can fill that need for a price I am willing to pay. As long as the employee is delivering their objectives then I am realising the value and it is still a mutually beneficial relationship.

 

[CrystalShadow]

~snip~

When you work on upkeep, you often have very little to do if you're good at your job. I mean, if your job is to fix, you're gonna have a lot of time on your hands when there's nothing to fix. These guys often gets fired because they're good at their job. They think because he seems to have a lot of time on his hands, he must not be working, so they get rid of him. Then they end up paying more on outsourcing when shit needs doing.

Yeah, I can see how that would be true. Companies have this odd habit of not liking it if their employees 'look' like they are doing nothing, even if they have a job that by it's nature could mean you have to do more work than you can handle for 5 hours a week, and basically nothing for the rest of the time.

The reason for you still being there for the remaining time anyway, clearly, is because it is critical to get the repairs done as soon as possible, and there's no predicting when a fault might happen...

Short-sighted decisions everywhere I guess.

 

[Frankster]

Add me in to the number of people who consider this man their new hero.

Automating pointless repetitive daily tasks? Hell yes.

Work smarter, not harder.