Psst he is in the friend zone

[kommando367]

From my understanding, there are 3 types of "friendzoning".

The first seems to be a misguided attempt at a girl being nice to a guy rather than outright blowing him off.

The second is caused by the guy expressing prolonged "friend-like" behavior instead of expressing or even hinting at having "relationship feelings" for her so even if the girl had feeling for the guy at first, she buried them.

Finally, the post-relationship friendzone is an even more misguided attempt at a girl trying to make a guy their friend long after the guy has buried his "friend-like feelings" under his "relationship feelings".

 

[2733]

Watching the escapist community attempt to collectively figure out the intricate details of human relationships is fun. That aside, Yes the friendzone does exist, it just isn't what most people perceive it as. What the friendzone is is a massive misunderstanding between two people. now this happens with all genders and sexualities but I'm going to use man and woman for simplicity's sake. How it starts is a man meets a woman and concludes he likes her as a lover. To show his feelings he showers her with acts of kindness, but never really shows his full hand. She on the other hand does not perceive him as a potential mate, so to her his acts come across as friendly and fraternal rather then romantic. this is most common when the man is the emotional stunted type and doesn't express himself well. So we are left with a man who feels angry because the woman he love never notices him and a woman who doesn't even notice that her friend loves her like that or how much it hurts him. sadly if he was expressive enough to show her his feelings or she empathetic enough to see them this wouldn't need happen.

Protip: if a friend you do not want to date ever confesses to you, don't use wishy washy language like " I don't want to ruin our friendship" or "I love you, but not in that way" instead you should crush their dreams like a mosquito on your arm. You sometimes must be cruel to be kind, so make sure your feelings are known and they fully understand that you are not interested. Finally give some thought to why you are not interested, if you can't think of any legitimate reason it might be time for some introspection.

captcha: plugged nickel, I have no joke for this.

 

[5ilver]

Things are going great, you have a lot in common and then suddenly.... screech: friendship. I've never understood women that do this.
Maybe they have more trouble finding friends? Personally, I stopped thinking of them as human beings around the time I lost a second relationship because "But you're such a great guy, I don't want to lose you as a friend!".

In case you're wondering, yes, assholes do get about a million times more action. No love but then love's probably just another fairy-tale.

 

[crazyarms33]

xD I love you now~

I frequently am on a site at night called "funnyjunk", and although most of the stuff is crap, I find numerous things in my boredom. However I see a lot of posts of males complaining about the "friendzone", how they are 'alone in this world', but then make stupid comments about how stupid women are, the "get in the kitchen" joke I've heard only 4 billion times, and how women get high votes purely because they're women. It's just confuses me.

Im no extreme feminist, and Im sure I know very little of the male mind, but do some people ever stop and think about what they're writing/posting/saying?

Well I love you too! Let's start planning our dates! ;-P

As weird as it sounds, I do understand where you're coming from with the whole 'women in the kitchen' jokes. They're tired and played out and really if a woman overhears you saying one, it does affect their opinion of you. At least in my experience. It seems to me that most younger dudes(boys I guess?) want to have it both ways. They want to be the ass and they want to be the nice guy. They don't realize that they can't be both and expect to get what they want. They each attract different types of women.

The sad reality is that most guys think they are the greatest man since Adam and when a woman shuts them down, as is her right I might add, they go into "SHE IS A B*TCH BECAUSE SHE DOESNT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME! HOW CAN ANYONE NOT WANT TO BANG ME? I AM ALL THAT IS MAN! ROAR!" mode. I often watch people at bars and laugh. It's like the internet only with overpriced beer!

 

[crazyarms33]

You're right. Grown ups don't act like everything is an opportunity to fuck. "She friend zoneded me." Oh, you mean "she met you, thought you were nice, and didn't immediately rip off your pants?"

But that's how it works on those internet videos I watched! They clearly reflect real life! That's totally why I want to be a plumber!

On a more serious note though, it astounds me how childish people can be about "just being friends". If you liked her, ask her. If she says no, then don't act like a crybaby. Just be thankful you have a friend still. Goodness. People irk me.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

Eh...I wouldn't say there's any such thing as a "friend zone." I just admit that I don't really have the confidence that other guys seem to have when looking for a relationship.

There's always something past the "asshole" part of a guy that is attractive to that girl, no matter what you think. Just something you have to accept. Some people get the short end of the stick on looks, like me (well, not really, just born with a physical defect they can't change without years of surgery), and just kinda have to deal with it.

But it's not really a big deal. Just gotta grin and bear it. I'm not gonna just give up and make excuses because my social skills haven't really developed well.

 

[370999]

Things are going great, you have a lot in common and then suddenly.... screech: friendship. I've never understood women that do this.
Maybe they have more trouble finding friends? Personally, I stopped thinking of them as human beings around the time I lost a second relationship because "But you're such a great guy, I don't want to lose you as a friend!".

In case you're wondering, yes, assholes do get about a million times more action. No love but then love's probably just another fairy-tale.

I really don't want to sound like a dick but in that situation, she probably saw you only as a friend i.e she had zero sexual interest in you. Say she said something about not wanting to lose you to spare your feelings.

 

[Eamar]

Well, I never thought I'd say it but... I'm pleasantly surprised by this thread.

Most people seem to *gasp* not be jumping on the friendzone bandwagon.

Bravo, Escapist. Bravo.

 

[Muspelheim]

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE FRIENDZONE, NEITHER DID WOMEN AT SOME POINT IN TIME MEET UP IN A DARK, DINGY VAULT SOMEWHERE TO AGREE ON A METHOD TO TORTURE AND ABUSE NICE YOUNG MEN!

I'll repeat this fact until doomsday. And many with me, it seems. You're awesome, comrades.

Edit: I know, bolded and caps-locked, but I'd write this on the night skies in blazing fireletters if I could. Bear with my caps-abuse, it's for a good cause.

 

[CODE-D]

The more you talk about the friend zone then girls learn about the friend so then you should shut up about the friend zone and then wont use it as an excuse and people will finally confront each.

PROBLEM=SOLVED

Now bow to me knaves.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

my personal peeve is when women say "why cant i find a guy like you?" *****, i am a guy like me. the issue is im not even ugly, just chubby. whats wrong with a guy with more to love?

See, what she really means is "Why can't I find a guy like you, but without all the faults and flaws that make you unattractive?"

Hey, here's an idea. When a girl says something like that and it really bothers you, say so.

 

[370999]

Here goes:
Women like handsome guys. Those that are not handsome will therefore not get a date with any girl that isn't seriously desperate (as in, similarly non-attractive). The exceptions to this rule are few and far between, and even then, the guy probably has some serious charisma.
So, to all of you unfortunates out there:
Life is not fair. You were not given a fair fighting chance, nor will you ever get something resembling one. There really is no way around it.

Not sure I agree with that. Look are obviously a factor and an important one. But if there is someone who is fit (due to exercise), personable and affable, I tend to think they can get by without resorting to the "seriously desperate".

 

[5ilver]

I really don't want to sound like a dick but in that situation, she probably saw you only as a friend i.e she had zero sexual interest in you. Say she said something about not wanting to lose you to spare your feelings.

You're probably right. I'm angry because she didn't just come out and say it but kept dragging me on for the emotional roller-coaster.

 

[370999]

I really don't want to sound like a dick but in that situation, she probably saw you only as a friend i.e she had zero sexual interest in you. Say she said something about not wanting to lose you to spare your feelings.

You're probably right. I'm angry because she didn't just come out and say it but kept dragging me on for the emotional roller-coaster.

Which is a dick move but one that is not unique to women.

 

[chadachada123]

It's simple, really: Don't let yourself get friend-zoned.

It sucks, because until you've experienced it a time or two, you may be too blinded to understand what she's unconsciously (or possibly consciously) doing to you, but after you learn to recognize it, you'll be safe from that kind of emotional trouble.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Just man up and ask her out! That is how to escape friend zone
<spoiler=images concerning friend zone>
http://zipmeme.com/uploads/generated/g1333975127784980435.jpg
Nope
http://images.memewow.com/memes/4/501/friend-zone-fiona-invites-you-over.jpg

 

[the abyss gazes also]

Friendship ins't the currency you plug into a woman until sex comes out.

The "friendzone" wasn't invented. Attraction is chemical. You really can't control it. You can't decide to be attracted to someone out of the blue.

 

[miketehmage]

Guys do this too. I'm friends with girls that I wouldn't date because frankly, I'm shallow and if there's no physical attraction I will not date someone.

In a perfect world it wouldn't matter. But it does. And girls while usually less shallow than guys, are still shallow. And I'd like to point out it isn't a personality flaw. Everyone has their own standards.

Also, I'm so fucking sick of seeing guys be like "Oh but we're always there for you"

THATS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.

Guys really, if you can't deal with this stop being friends with girls.

 

[Naeras]

It's possible to like someone without being physically and/or romantically attracted to them. No, I can't explain how that works, but that's the basis for why I've friendzoned several women in my time as well.
Because, yes, guys friend-zone women too. It's just that women usually don't complain as much about it. I recall one who did do that, which, in turn, is one of the reasons why she got friendzoned. gee gee.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Here goes:
Women like handsome guys. Those that are not handsome will therefore not get a date with any girl that isn't seriously desperate (as in, similarly non-attractive). The exceptions to this rule are few and far between, and even then, the guy probably has some serious charisma.
So, to all of you unfortunates out there:
Life is not fair. You were not given a fair fighting chance, nor will you ever get something resembling one. There really is no way around it.

Moe: "I must be the ugliest person alive."
Homer: "Oh, Moe, there are lots of people uglier than you. Have you ever been to White Castle?"

Seriously, the ratio of good looking people to not good looking people in this world is vastly in favor of the fuglies. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that there are probably more physically unattractive women than physically unattractive men, thanks to biology adding the pounds on women at a greater rate. And having dated a "not so good looking gal" in my time, I can assure that they can still be quite sexy and worth your time. Don't discount them. Making out with a fat girl opened my eyes to a lot of possibilities. I'm still single as shit, but that's another story. I should also point out that I'm hot as fuck and this girl who rejected me is really missing out. I'm probably the hottest guy she will ever make out with. I take a slight amount of satisfaction in that.

Saying "girls don't like me because I'm ugly" is an astonishingly weak excuse.