Boy the Japanese are into some weird shit, aren?t they? It gets to a point where accepting cultural difference just doesn?t cut it and you have to ask ?What the fuck, guys?!? Generally at the point when a nine year old is trying to rape her teacher. And yet, that weird shit seems preferable to what I?m about to review. Say what you will about the nymphet Rin, for as fucked up as things got with her there weren?t too many plot holes and she did have a few endearing moments. But there?s nothing redeeming about this item which defers to a fetish that I think almost any culture has had.
DearS is a kind of harem anime based on a shit graphic novel that I won?t review because if I didn?t intermingle watching this with occasional peaks at Jeffry Donnovan being awesome, Gabrielle Anwar being badass and Bruce Campbell being sexy, I would have slit my fucking wrists and drowned puppies in the arterial blood. Nothing about DearS, NOTHING, is good. The art is bad, the concept is stupid, the music is horrible, the plot is full of holes, the science fiction is suspect and not even willing suspension of disbelief can forgive a teacher who masturbates in class and throws a couple of her students out the window.
?and no, I?m not joking about that last part.
The anime in question revolves around the titular DearS. Jah knows why they insist on spelling it that way, but whatever. The DearS are supposedly a race of alien refugees who crashed on Earth one year prior to the start of the show and who lacked proper engineers to repair their ships autopilot, so they instead began to integrate themselves with human culture. We find out later this is a cover story and that the DearS themselves are a genetically engineered race of slaves genetically programmed to enjoy service who have been given a variety of bullshit magic powers to better serve their masters. DearS hide this fact because they don?t want to create friction with humans, but a problem arises when they discover a defective DearS that was never programmed has woken up, and they need to capture it or risk blowing their cover. Stupid concept already, but wait, it gets worse!
DearS revolves mostly around the defective alien and her/it?s relationship with a human named Takeya, a completely unlikable asshole. I know stupid characters who wisen up after nearly getting killed is a common substitute for a character arc in anime, but Takeya is sort of like Kenji from Katawa Shoujo. He?s a xenophobic conspiracy theorist convinced that the DearS are out to brainwash humans and take over the world. And just like Kenji, the excuse for his behavior takes on a stupid bend. Kenji thought feminists were out to take over the world, wipe out all men and leave lesbians in charge of the world because the dumbass never understood that after an adrenaline fueled activity there is usually an adrenaline crash. Takeya is afraid of the DearS because he watched that Josh Whedon Aliens flick.
Anyway Takeya is the main character and is completely unlikable. He?s a conspiracy theorist, makes a hobby peddling porn to his classmates, and he?s stupid beyond belief. While walking home from school Takeya happens upon the defective alien who was never taught Earth?s languages and she ends up imprinting on him and declaring herself his slave. And it?s all downhill from there.
There is more to it than that, the alien is named Ren and a lot of the show involves teaching her human culture, but none of it sets in because the entire premise is so full of holes it?s impossible to care. You can?t even go through the first episode with a dozen plot holes, the only difference between this and Final Fantasy is that this item is mercifully short and only about 12 episodes long.
What?s wrong? Well, right off the bat, this show starts up one year after the DearS land. One year later this hyper advanced alien race fails to recover the defective model and it wakes up. If their entire agenda revolves around survival amongst humans by hiding their nature, wouldn?t recovering the goddamn zero models take priority?! Why was Ren even on that ship? Why did they even keep the defective models alive? Why are the DearS an organic race and given technology that could easily be corrupted? Why is it the first line of defense against a defective or rampant DearS a defective DearS? Why do they make such a big deal about Ren lacking programming when she is still capable of learning at the same rate as the other aliens but don?t seem to care that their soldiers seem to quite literally be retarded?
To top it all off, the audio mixing is horrible. The English dub was the item I managed to find and at multiple points the voices either sounded too loud or the music would drown out dialogue, normally I?d be marking that as a pro because the voice actors totally phone it in but like I said earlier, the music sucks. The opening theme is performed in a voice like the singer has a mouthful of shit, and the ending theme has horrible animation and the song itself can cause physical pain if you?re slow on the mute command.
So, what else can I mention? Well, there are more plot holes. At one point Ren enrolls in the school and even though the existence of the DearS has been well documented and the principle actually met the alien that was supposed to show up, the only person who challenges her entry is Miu, a rival DearS. Miu herself is annoying but the one thing worth mentioning is her hair which counts for most of her biological mass. I admit, I kind of like women with long hair, but when you make this look perfectly reasonable:
Then you might as well just isolate yourself and spare society your idiocy. Of course Ren herself is in a similar shape. Why is it that the girl named for the gay Chihuahua acid trip has her hair so long it?s dragging on the ground? If someone tripped on that it would probably be very painful. Oh, also, there?s a BDSM DearS with hair curls that look like ram horns. Looks like America isn?t the only nation that forgot what ?Subtlety? is.
Okay, I think I?ve met the prerequisite amount of text to count this as a review. I know it?s poorly written, but thinking about DearS is kind of painful and it makes it hard to focus. All you need to know is that DearS is horrible. While I?d rate it higher than last years Zero no Tsukaima, there is absolutely nothing that would get me to recommend this item. Avoid it at all costs while I try to find something good to recommend for a change.
Should i find it strange that the abnormally huge tits on some of the characters actually turn me off?
--Pyramid Head
Next Non-Game Review: Makai Senki Disgaea
DearS is a kind of harem anime based on a shit graphic novel that I won?t review because if I didn?t intermingle watching this with occasional peaks at Jeffry Donnovan being awesome, Gabrielle Anwar being badass and Bruce Campbell being sexy, I would have slit my fucking wrists and drowned puppies in the arterial blood. Nothing about DearS, NOTHING, is good. The art is bad, the concept is stupid, the music is horrible, the plot is full of holes, the science fiction is suspect and not even willing suspension of disbelief can forgive a teacher who masturbates in class and throws a couple of her students out the window.
?and no, I?m not joking about that last part.
The anime in question revolves around the titular DearS. Jah knows why they insist on spelling it that way, but whatever. The DearS are supposedly a race of alien refugees who crashed on Earth one year prior to the start of the show and who lacked proper engineers to repair their ships autopilot, so they instead began to integrate themselves with human culture. We find out later this is a cover story and that the DearS themselves are a genetically engineered race of slaves genetically programmed to enjoy service who have been given a variety of bullshit magic powers to better serve their masters. DearS hide this fact because they don?t want to create friction with humans, but a problem arises when they discover a defective DearS that was never programmed has woken up, and they need to capture it or risk blowing their cover. Stupid concept already, but wait, it gets worse!
DearS revolves mostly around the defective alien and her/it?s relationship with a human named Takeya, a completely unlikable asshole. I know stupid characters who wisen up after nearly getting killed is a common substitute for a character arc in anime, but Takeya is sort of like Kenji from Katawa Shoujo. He?s a xenophobic conspiracy theorist convinced that the DearS are out to brainwash humans and take over the world. And just like Kenji, the excuse for his behavior takes on a stupid bend. Kenji thought feminists were out to take over the world, wipe out all men and leave lesbians in charge of the world because the dumbass never understood that after an adrenaline fueled activity there is usually an adrenaline crash. Takeya is afraid of the DearS because he watched that Josh Whedon Aliens flick.
Anyway Takeya is the main character and is completely unlikable. He?s a conspiracy theorist, makes a hobby peddling porn to his classmates, and he?s stupid beyond belief. While walking home from school Takeya happens upon the defective alien who was never taught Earth?s languages and she ends up imprinting on him and declaring herself his slave. And it?s all downhill from there.
There is more to it than that, the alien is named Ren and a lot of the show involves teaching her human culture, but none of it sets in because the entire premise is so full of holes it?s impossible to care. You can?t even go through the first episode with a dozen plot holes, the only difference between this and Final Fantasy is that this item is mercifully short and only about 12 episodes long.
What?s wrong? Well, right off the bat, this show starts up one year after the DearS land. One year later this hyper advanced alien race fails to recover the defective model and it wakes up. If their entire agenda revolves around survival amongst humans by hiding their nature, wouldn?t recovering the goddamn zero models take priority?! Why was Ren even on that ship? Why did they even keep the defective models alive? Why are the DearS an organic race and given technology that could easily be corrupted? Why is it the first line of defense against a defective or rampant DearS a defective DearS? Why do they make such a big deal about Ren lacking programming when she is still capable of learning at the same rate as the other aliens but don?t seem to care that their soldiers seem to quite literally be retarded?
To top it all off, the audio mixing is horrible. The English dub was the item I managed to find and at multiple points the voices either sounded too loud or the music would drown out dialogue, normally I?d be marking that as a pro because the voice actors totally phone it in but like I said earlier, the music sucks. The opening theme is performed in a voice like the singer has a mouthful of shit, and the ending theme has horrible animation and the song itself can cause physical pain if you?re slow on the mute command.
So, what else can I mention? Well, there are more plot holes. At one point Ren enrolls in the school and even though the existence of the DearS has been well documented and the principle actually met the alien that was supposed to show up, the only person who challenges her entry is Miu, a rival DearS. Miu herself is annoying but the one thing worth mentioning is her hair which counts for most of her biological mass. I admit, I kind of like women with long hair, but when you make this look perfectly reasonable:
Then you might as well just isolate yourself and spare society your idiocy. Of course Ren herself is in a similar shape. Why is it that the girl named for the gay Chihuahua acid trip has her hair so long it?s dragging on the ground? If someone tripped on that it would probably be very painful. Oh, also, there?s a BDSM DearS with hair curls that look like ram horns. Looks like America isn?t the only nation that forgot what ?Subtlety? is.
Okay, I think I?ve met the prerequisite amount of text to count this as a review. I know it?s poorly written, but thinking about DearS is kind of painful and it makes it hard to focus. All you need to know is that DearS is horrible. While I?d rate it higher than last years Zero no Tsukaima, there is absolutely nothing that would get me to recommend this item. Avoid it at all costs while I try to find something good to recommend for a change.
Should i find it strange that the abnormally huge tits on some of the characters actually turn me off?
--Pyramid Head
Next Non-Game Review: Makai Senki Disgaea