Questioning friendships~

[SaetonChapelle]

So here's a pleasant little story.

I've had a male friend for about 3 years or so.This male friend has seen me fall in and out of relationships, but has always been around for my well being. I've tried to find him a girlfriend but it seems he skirts away from them. Shy little thing. A nice individual, but he has traits that I don't view as romantic as well as being a few years younger then myself.

Well, while watching television in my apartment together, at some point I dozed off (damn you "how it's made and your ability to put me to sleep). Now, I sleep through most if not all noises, but if there is a slight disturbance around me I tend to jerk awake quite quickly. There was.

I awoke to see my room dark, television turned off, and someone's hand on my breast and traveling. I was about to immediately stand when I felt the bed shaking, and quickly realized there was an individual beside me doing... err... well, things to themselves. I got up to hear "You were awake?!" and stomped out of the room. I suppose I should have said something but at the time I was at a loss for words.

In the am he had promptly left prior to me awaking again. During the day I sent him a message, confronting him about the ordeal, to which he responded that he had no memory. Apparently he has "night terrors" or so he claims (had no idea night terrors caused an increase of groping, hmm). I informed him if he just manned up and apologized, I would forgive. I was annoyed, but we could get over this and discuss boundaries. Instead he still claimed ignorance and kept his tale of the night terrors, crying all the while stating he would never do anything to intentionally harm me.

At this point I'm less angry than annoyed. I know he would never hurt me, he was just being a young curious male. That's no excuse but I'm a rather down to earth individual. We really haven't spoken much, as much as he tried to win me over with gifts and cries of forgiveness, asking if he can still attend conventions and such (even buying me expensive wine... hmm)

So my friends at TheEscapist,Has an awkward moment (not necessarily sexual) ever occurred between you and a friend that might cause you to perhaps question your friendship? And how did you go about confronting the matter?

 

[Kud]

Got open mouth kissed by a very obese girl in the middle of a hallway in high school. It wouldn't have been quite so horrible if she wasn't also the girl who spent all her time talking at me about how much she loved my best friend. I didn't want to be mean and shut her down so I just kinda stayed silent and tried to walk as far away as possible.

To clarify, we were kind of friends except that I hated her like a bawss but was too awkward to say anything about it.

That's all I have to say about that.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[MammothBlade]

Got open mouth kissed by a very obese girl in the middle of a hallway in high school. It wouldn't have been quite so horrible if she wasn't also the girl who spent all her time talking at me about how much she loved my best friend. I didn't want to be mean and shut her down so I just kinda stayed silent and tried to walk as far away as possible.

To clarify, we were kind of friends except that I hated her like a bawss but was too awkward to say anything about it.

That's all I have to say about that.

Congrats, you blew the chance of a lifetime with a SSBBW. I am appalled and would gladly have taken your place and screwed her.

My close "friend", once or twice... I seem to be his emotional crutch at times but I can't depend on him for my own wellbeing. He does not take me seriously when I say I have my own issues.

 

[Kud]

Got open mouth kissed by a very obese girl in the middle of a hallway in high school. It wouldn't have been quite so horrible if she wasn't also the girl who spent all her time talking at me about how much she loved my best friend. I didn't want to be mean and shut her down so I just kinda stayed silent and tried to walk as far away as possible.

To clarify, we were kind of friends except that I hated her like a bawss but was too awkward to say anything about it.

That's all I have to say about that.

Congrats, you blew the chance of a lifetime with a SSBBW. I am appalled and would gladly have taken your place and screwed her.

I am not sure if you're serious, but I'll assume you are. Did you miss the part where I said I didn't like her? How are you supposed to have sex with someone if you don't even like them?

 

[Esotera]

I was going to a party one day and invited my girlfriend over in the morning to spend time together before getting a lift in the evening. Unfortunately my friend (who is her ex) also had the same idea and came pretty much an hour after she arrived. I'd offered him a lift to the party but assumed he would come pretty much as we were going, as there is no love lost between the two of them.

So it was really fucking awkward, he was acting like a dick to her, she was acting like a dick to him, and I had to act like a dick to both of them but not too much, to maintain both friendships. The compromise sort of ended up being her sitting on my lap whilst we all browsed youtube, but then he wanted to show off his recently acquired ju jitsu skills on someone, and to cut a long story short he ended up karate-chopping me in the throat and apologising profusely whilst I yelled unmentionable obscenities at him.

Anyway, we got to the party and obviously this was the point where I was questioning my friendship with him. But I was pretty pissed off at my girlfriend too because she hadn't eaten all day, and my friend had told her I should be less close, so I kept ignoring her for the night's activities (smoking weed out of courgette/cucumber pipes and feeding doritos to hamsters) and she got really drunk and passed out, barely breathing. So then my friend helped me carry her to a bed and look after her (despite being so drunk that he later ended up on the roof of a shed with no idea how he got there). That is massive kudos in my book, as that's exactly what true friends do - come through and help in your hour of need.

The moral of my story would be get drunk and talk it out, as it always makes it easier, but I suppose you've already been quite direct, and the ball is in his court. Make what you will of his move, because his current one is pretty shite.

Congrats, you blew the chance of a lifetime with a SSBBW. I am appalled and would gladly have taken your place and screwed her.

Well done sir, you win the escapist. Appropriate medals have been forwarded to your current location.

 

[Phasmal]

What the actual fuck?
Your friend is creepy as hell.
I know someone's gonna jump down my throat for saying this but if that was my friend I'd not be questioning friendship- the police would be questioning him.

As for the OT: A friend of mine supposedly wanted more, never told me, told my parents instead and then decided he wasn't talking to me the second I got a boyfriend. I was completely oblivious to all of that happenining.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

As a guy, I've friendzoned a female friend. I mean she was dropping the subtle hints that she wouldn't object to being more than just friends but it was too weird for me. I've known her since we were both little kids and we were great friends. I didn't want to screw up our great friendship. Judge me if you want but I think I made the right decision. Besides, she's now happy with her current boyfriend and we still get to hangout without any awkward 'I used to kiss her' thoughts popping up.

Yeah, I know. I'm now less cool.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Sounds like he's just hanging around and waiting for you to suddenly fall in love with him because that's what always happens in movies when the guy pursues the girls so it will obviously happen in real life.

Me personally, I'd sever all ties. If you gave him no indication that you like him more than a friend, he has absolutely no right to do that. It's just an invasion of your privacy, I'm assuming you wouldn't do it to a sleeping guy friend who showed no interest in you.
He's probably just embarrassed and feigning ignorance to save his pride. I'd be like, "Whatever dude. See you never again!"
He knows he did wrong, else he wouldn't be buying you gifts and asking for forgiveness.

As for me, I did have a friend who I was incredibly close to at school and after we left we kept in touch.
She (was he in school) revealed some feelings towards me years ago which I had to decline but said I wanted to be friends if it wouldn't be too awkward.
All throughout knowing her (about 6 years) I've had a boyfriend or been interested in someone. Months ago I was single for the first time in years for a while and she suggested we should date which made me feel so uncomfortable. I didn't want to look like a ***** by turning her down so it out me in a really awkward situation. I was stammering and making excuses and felt awful by using the 'You're like family' line but I simply can't picture myself with her.

She hasn't spoken much since and I feel awful for hurting her and I know I'm completely to blame in this. It's a shame because she did does mean a lot to me and I hope she finds someone to make her happy.

 

[Able Seacat]

That must have been terrifying for you, I would have been freaked the hell out.

 

[Jonluw]

Well, there's this dude who was my best friend in kindergarten.
I haven't really seen him since, and we've both grown up now. I recently befriended him on facebook though, and it appears he has developed into a type of individual that I have nearly no respect for whatsoever.

Slicked-back hair, bare-chested photos, pictures from parties where he's drinking champagne...

It's not conclusive, but from his facebook feed he appears to be sort of a dick.

As for the OP: Yeah... that's very creepy. Like, restraining order level creepy.
But I can understand how you feel in that you don't seem to be planning to press charges or anything.
I'd be pretty creeped out if a female friend that I'm not attracted to did the same thing, but ultimately she wouldn't have done me harm and I wouldn't want to make life more difficult for her.

 

[Kud]

As a guy, I've friendzoned a female friend. I mean she was dropping the subtle hints that she wouldn't object to being more than just friends but it was too weird for me. I've known her since we were both little kids and we were great friends. I didn't want to screw up our great friendship. Judge me if you want but I think I made the right decision. Besides, she's now happy with her current boyfriend and we still get to hangout without any awkward 'I used to kiss her' thoughts popping up.

Yeah, I know. I'm now less cool.

Respect brother.

I wish I could have done that with one of my old friends, the opportunity to date her was there so I took it. Now that we've broken up I have one less good friend. Sigh :/

 

[Rawne1980]

Me and a friend flat shared when we came on leave from the army for somewhere to stay (we bought a cheap flat near a decent boozer).

It had 2 bedrooms so we could do what we do with any lasses we may meet on our travels in relative peace.

However.

One weekend we came on leave and his brother needed somewhere to stay so ended up crashing at our flat with Pete taking the couch.

Saturday night we went on the booze and after i'd drunk enough to knock out a small whale I crawled back to the flat and proceeded to pass out in my bed.

I got woke up the next morning by Pete and what can only be described as a beast with boobs fucking away happily next to me.

The very last thing I want to see when i'm hungover is my mates bright white arse bouncing off the beast of bognor right next tome.

Strong words were had.