Rambo: The Video Game Review - First Crud

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

So did they award this game to the developer who promised to make it for the least amount of money possible?

 

[deathmothon]

"It turns the game into Beyond: Two Souls, albeit with a slightly better story."

I lol'ed. I also didn't look at who did the review until the f bomb. I really didn't even need to scroll up after that though.

 

[J Tyran]

I reckon a Rambo game could be great, a bit of survival, some stealth and close combat as well a shooting. How on Earth a game like this one even gets released though, I have no idea. At any point did the developers sit down and think "fuck yeah! We are making an awesome game, just look at how pretty it is!" and at what point did the publishers say "yep this game is ready for release, lets make some money!" I mean seriously, this game looks like I made it. There are hundreds of total conversion game mods better than this.

How can anyone think they had made a decent game? They are either the most self deluded people ever or they knew they where scamming and throwing out any old pile of shit to see if any sticks, I wouldn't be surprised if they started advertising DLC for it or even season passes.

Its a sad illustration of just how bad the gaming industry can be.

 

[RandV80]

I like another reviewers suggestion that it's both cheaper and better time value if you just buy and watch all the movies.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

Well now, I didn't think this game would be any good from the moment I saw the first god-awful trailer where a fucking helicopter clipped straight through a hill. On the official fucking trailer!!
If a company can't even be bothered not to feature bugs in their trailer, the game is definitely not going to work out. Unless of course the bugs are a feature...

 

[Vie]

I cannot wait to see what the people on youtube make out of this game.

It'll keep letsplayers and youtube poop makers happy for years!

 

[MCerberus]

And so nobody on this planet was surprised in the slightest

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

Neither The whole Rambo Series nor Sly Stallone did anything to derserve this game.

I dunno... remember, Stallone did Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105477/].

I wonder if the developer is going to be so desperate to put some positive reviews on their released trailer (if they have the budget for it, which I think has all been used up on crack and hookers) that they will start quote mining for even the slightest positive statement.

"Like this game..."

Jim Sterling, The Escapist

"Shockingly... good...."

"Rambo The Video Game is... best...."

"...chock full of... gameplay you'll enjoy...."

- Jim Sterling, official Escapist review

 

[MarsProbe]

*sees the F-bomb*

Wait, what?

*scrolls up, sees Jim Sterling's name*

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

That is EXACTLY what I did too! "This guy cursed?He's gettin' fired.....oh okay".

Thirded. I was reading through, and upon seeing the f-bomb (now why does just typing that make me feel like some bible-belt soccer mom?) thought "was that really necessary?".

*scrolls up to see the review author*

Yes. Yes it was.

Funnily enough, I'm reading this after watching Totalbiscuit's "WTF is...." on the game. I don't think I've been that confused over the existence of something since the time I watched House (only 2 days ago admittedly), but at least that managed to be somewhat entertaining.

 

[Doclector]

That review was masterful.

But yeah, when I saw the trailer for this...thing, my reaction was so:


I knew this was either going to be that rarest of things; The so bad it's good game, or the most common of things; The bad game.

It would appear to be the latter.

 

[BloodRed Pixel]

Neither The whole Rambo Series nor Sly Stallone did anything to derserve this game.

I dunno... remember, Stallone did Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105477/].

HUSH! or they will make a game about this movie, too.
LOL, totally forgot about this one.

 

[sageoftruth]

Holy crap! Is the plot of Beyond Two Souls really that bad? It must be even worse than I first thought.

 

[Mydnyght]

I just saw the Angry Joe Show review of this game.
Man, Joe despised it. 2 out of 10 (equivalent to the 1 star from Jim).
A couple times, the game crashed on Joe during the final mission.

 

[Antsh]

I think it's hilarious that you have to shoot arms and legs when fighting the police so as to not get the 'cop killer' penalty.

What is up with these awful games lately.

I hope Teyon blows up at TB, for what seems to be the norm nowadays. I say TB because he seems to be the one who antagonizes devs to the point that their sanity breaks, even if the overwhelming consensus is that their game is crap.

I love that your Squirty Plays have become precursors to your reviews here. Yahtzee is doing something similar with his Let's Down Outs and Escapist work.