Random Like Boxcar Ninja Boxers
- Thread starter Brownie80
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- Mar 17, 2012
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little *****? I?ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I?ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I?m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You?re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that?s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ?clever? comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn?t, you didn?t, and now you?re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You?re fucking dead, kiddo.
- Mar 31, 2010
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Once upon a time there was an old man with a pet lobster. He was really kind to it; he gave it lots of food, played video games with it and gave it several female lobsters. He and the lobster had a great time in the old man's huge mansion and garden. However, one day the old man died and the mansion was given to his hard-hearted niece, who changed the old man's will so she instead of the lobster would inherit the mansion. She put the lobster in a bulletproof tank and ate all of his female lobsters, he knew that she was going to eat him for her birthday. On her day itself she held a huge party, where the poor lobster was cooked up and served. Just as everyone had finished the meal, however, they heard a terrible noise coming from the roof. They looked up, only to see the whole top of the mansion was gone, and there hovering above it was the great Lobster god himself! The guests watched in fear as the Lobster god picked up the niece with it's mighty claws and chucked her into outer space. And she died. The End.
- Mar 17, 2012
- 5,948
- 15
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- United States
"Fall ampersand moon, honorific commoner, fall ampersand moon. Note hat Eyes wash too apply hat chew own existed hibernating off the profession. No primary exists moor dis-serving off arrest then chew. Also altogether the attempt in the globe wood own disappeared too discard unit ill...sound letters justice eh yore are owns gone repeatedly. The left Terran inside the right palace can produce altogether the dissimilarity inside the globe. Then surf down, honorific commoner, surf down also smelt the cinders."
No! Please! I beg you! Cease! Desist! Let my farglechild flax free! Shit hasn't even penciltopped my vomitorium bookshelf, thus fareth!
HEY! That was a logical progression, we don't want none of that in here!
You...flirty...yummy...erect, goat-licking, jelly-fishing, Argonian-hating, law-humping, royal family-hearing, table-bashing, court-attending, non-judgemental, highly intelligent, great-assed son of a CUTLERY DRAWER!
*tightens tie, jumps out of glass of water and pogo-sticks into the background*
You...flirty...yummy...erect, goat-licking, jelly-fishing, Argonian-hating, law-humping, royal family-hearing, table-bashing, court-attending, non-judgemental, highly intelligent, great-assed son of a CUTLERY DRAWER!
*tightens tie, jumps out of glass of water and pogo-sticks into the background*