Random scenario Saturday! Robot attack! D:

[Demolition_Human]

It is a normal day on planet Earth, when a large object is spotted a few thousand miles away. It looks like a strange spacecraft and on this spacecraft is a race of sentient machines that are gearing up to destroy the human race. They send their message to Earth and what follows is panic but it is quickly silenced as the unveiling of a new invention is created. Its basically like the replicators from Star Trek, but they can pretty much build larger and more complex structures and even fictional structures that were never possible to build in the real world. And with the creation of this new invention it begins, the war against the machines for the fate of the planet!!

TL;DR: Basically robots attack, but you can fight back with any weapon or vehicle you can think of from fiction or real life, so what would it be?

Honestly I would take a mech suit and take the fight to them! >

 

[Little Woodsman]

I'll take a bullet tied to a stick, and have someone critically injure me before I go to fight them.
If years of watching anime have taught me anything....

 

[Scarim Coral]

If they are like anything like their portrayal in media, I would try to throw water on them. There also trying to send a computer virus or an emp at them but I leaved that to the army.
I doubt we be stupid enough to block out the sun thinking they are solar powered.

 

[username sucks]

Can I build dragons? I want to see dragons fighting robots.

If not, then give me a Fat Man and a wide selection of mini nukes. Maybe I can even do the ammo hotkey glitch to load mini nukes into a shotgun.

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

If Scarim won't try to launch a computer virus to stop the evil invading robots o' doom, then I will.

I doubt the militaries of the world would be smart enough to think that, except maybe this one guy in each military who then gets reassigned to Antarctica for postulating such an idea, instead of just bleating "AIRSTRIKES HOORAY FOR AIRSTRIKES!"

And in that case, I'll just hang out with the Antarctic military computer guys to make the comp worm.

 

[Esotera]

I'm going with a hatchet, I've used it as a tool a fair amount in the garden and there's a fair chance that this could translate to me using it effectively as a weapon. I would say a bow & arrow otherwise, but I reckon that would just bounce straight off a robot.

Alternatively I might try and hack them and turn them against each other...but that would have some pretty stressful time constraints before stuff got hairy.

 

[Old Father Eternity]

Wormhole tech, almost the penultimate manipulation of the fabric of the Universe

 

[omegaweopon]

I will post a sign out front that says:

Spoiler: Code below!

#!/bin/bash
MUSER="$1"
MPASS="$2"
MDB="$3"

# Detect paths
MYSQL=$(which mysql)
AWK=$(which awk)
GREP=$(which grep)

if [ $# -ne 3 ]
then
echo "Usage: $0 {MySQL-User-Name} {MySQL-User-Password} {MySQL-Database-Name}"
echo "Drops all tables from a MySQL"
exit 1
fi

TABLES=$($MYSQL -u $MUSER -p$MPASS $MDB -e 'show tables' | $AWK '{ print $1}' | $GREP -v '^Tables' )

for t in $TABLES
do
echo "Deleting $t table from $MDB database..."
$MYSQL -u $MUSER -p$MPASS $MDB -e "drop table $t"
done

Sit back, and totally laugh if their hardware uses Linux. (What, you think evil robots are gonna use windows?)

Also, I will kindly ask them what happens if Pinocchio says "My nose will now grow"

This sentence is false.

 

[Loop Stricken]

I don't know if you've ever heard of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann but... well, that.

And I like how the Captcha is 'dream big'.
No shit, Captcha.

No shit.

 

[EHKOS]

I have a great idea! We should blot out the sky! They must run on solar power!

/reference

It's hard to damage machines physically, so I'd count on global warming to overheat their heatsinks/processors. Or give the Timesplitters FP virus to them. That one that was transferred like an STD.

 

[Vareoth]

Get me an Ancient control chair from SG-1 that I can use and a self-replicating arsenal of drone weapons and I'll get this sorted out before lunch time.

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

Hope that Godzilla comes out of the ocean and kicks some robotic ass!

 

[Fijiman]

I'd get Dexter's dodge ball suit(tailored more to fit me and fitted with some armor), though instead of shooting dodge balls I'd hook it up with dual RYNO 2s and maybe a few other odds and ends that I might think of.

 

[Daverson]

Well, I guess the best weapon to use against a robot would be a- wait. Time out. One second.

like the replicators from Star Trek

*twitch*

Now, where was I? Since they're made of constituent block without any physical "cement", Kinetic energy is your best friend, a high-calibre machine gun would do the trick, something like an M2 or DShK.

 

[Demolition_Human]

Well, I guess the best weapon to use against a robot would be a- wait. Time out. One second.

like the replicators from Star Trek

*twitch*

Now, where was I? Since they're made of constituent block without any physical "cement", Kinetic energy is your best friend, a high-calibre machine gun would do the trick, something like an M2 or DShK.

My apologies if my lack of Star Trek knowledge bothered you in any way. I'm terribly sorry. D:>

 

[Sir Pootis]

Easy. Gurren Lagann.

Giant mech that tears through everything with many drills.

 

[kailus13]

Various sizes of railgun. From pistol sized railguns to take out anything at street level, to the aircraft-carrier -ounted railgun to take out the spaceship itself. And even though it would be profoundly unsafe, I'd mount it to the heli-carrier from The Avengers.

Hope that Godzilla comes out of the ocean and kicks some robotic ass!

Why hope? Make a mecha-godzilla! Then hope it doesn't turn on you.

 

[FalloutJack]

A message is sent to the robots after the creation and implementation of a technology found in the Robot City book series (based in Isaac Asimov's robot series) that begins to actually create whole cities and weapons before their very eyes.

"Greetings, robot invasion force. As you can see, the human race has taken a bit of initiative in the technological warfare department. Right now, the self-configuring giant machines of doom are poised to attack and will do so if given any provocation, especially attempts at tampering with them without being an authorized human. You may find with your scanners that all these things are constructed of an advanced micro-device which we call the adaptive metacell. It is a complex device far in advancement of our previous research into nanites and practically an endless replicating legion of cellular robots whose loyalties cannot be over-written. These machines can turn this planet and the surrounding space into a warzone AND regenerate the Earth, so we are committed to a total war scenario. We give you two choices: Join us or face ultimate destruction. You have one standard hour to decide."

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Destroy the sky!

Just kidding. I'd have all the Armored Core parts from all of the Armored Core games and I'd built myself a spectacular mech with dual Karasawas (the good ones) and the EN Amps from ACV. And Oigami on the back. Argyros core, Sealeye head, Raiden legs, Lemur arms. Ain't no ************ hard enough to stand up to dat.

EDIT: Or actually, the cast of Metal Gear would do just fine.

 

[Ix Rebound]

Probably just put myself in charge of all the worlds ballistic missles, change all their names to something cooler, like "Deathstrike" or "Lightning Hammer" and have the whole mess sorted out before one of the nations can complain that I've just turned half their country into a big crater.

It will probably go down something like this:

"Gunner, do you see that army?"
"Yes mi'lord."
"I don't want to."
"Understood mi'lord."