Random unexpected encounter

[jebbo]

"Oh she had.. you should see the marks she left on my back! haha"

Woah. A good night huh, tiger?

I have two questions which I think will help me (and other posters) better understand your situation. Please note that I mean no offense and my questions are meant to better aid you.

Question 1: When you mentioned her significant other you put it in quotation marks. Does she or does she not have a boyfriend?

Question 2 (based on the response to Q1): How then would it make you feel (emotionally/socially) to be "the other man" (the one she is cheating on the other dude with)?

All I meant by putting him in 'q' marks is that she's not been with him for long, so I don't see him as a threat. Anyway I don't actually want the girl as a girlfriend, just as a f**kbuddy (i hate that term)

Normally I wouldn't go near a girl with a man, just out of respect, but she was something else.. something I just had to go for that night and... Apparently her man wasn't all that - especially after what she said...

Okay, so he actually exists. You've seen this guy before? You don't think she is making this guy up just to give herself some kind of leverage? I'm not making any accusations, I just want to know your thoughts on this.

Secondly, okay....so it's a physical thing to you? There is no emotional connect beyond your mutual need for sex? I don't mean to pry, but this is an important to consider before anything else.

Oh yeh I know he exists, I'm gonna fuckin' have to meet the guy next week at her birthday party!!! I'm hoping we get on well...

And in response to number 2 no There's not a lot more to me and her than sex. I just want to try and keep her as someone she can fall back on when she gets pissed with her bf and needs a good hard shag!!

 

[Amnestic]

Oh yeh I know he exists, I'm gonna fuckin' have to meet the guy next week at her birthday party!!! I'm hoping we get on well...

And in response to number 2 no There's not a lot more to me and her than sex. I just want to try and keep her as someone she can fall back on when she gets pissed with her bf and needs a good hard shag!!

There is but one route left open to you: Sandwich.

 

[Wildrow12]

Wow....I'm tired. I had to read first line twice because I thought you said you were going to "fuck the guy next week" (which would be a novel way to defuse tension, I must admit).

Forgive my misunderstanding but, I'm still not clear as to why you want to "keep her". Is it the sex or is it more of a personal achievement thing?

(Achievement Unlocked!: The Undercover Lover)

It seems like you don't want to commit to a relationship with her...but still want to maintain a place in her life on an intimate basis. Now that tells me that you DO have an emotional connect with this girl, but due to circumstances you have resigned yourself to being her sexual object, which in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing....but it begs the question: is that what YOU want or is that the role you have submitted to because of your fear of losing that intimacy?

 

[jebbo]

Wow....I'm tired. I had to read first line twice because I thought you said you were going to "fuck the guy next week" (which would be a novel way to defuse tension, I must admit).

Forgive my misunderstanding but, I'm still not clear as to why you want to "keep her". Is it the sex or is it more of a personal achievement thing?

(Achievement Unlocked!: The Undercover Lover)

It seems like you don't want to commit to a relationship with her...but still want to maintain a place in her life on an intimate basis. Now that tells me that you DO have an emotional connect with this girl, but due to circumstances you have resigned yourself to being her sexual object, which in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing....but it begs the question: is that what YOU want or is that the role you have submitted to because of your fear of losing that intimacy?

Now you are a deep and interesting person to have pulled that information from an almost dead and clinically finished thread.

I would say that I have decided that she is the *object* of my desire and yes I would want her on a more regular basis but it shall not happen due to the difficulties that lie ahead.

In all honesty I am prepared to let her go, seeing as she has most possible fun in the meantime, and hoping she comes to me when she gets bored

 

[Wildrow12]

Hey boss, just trying to help.

Okay, then:

1. You DO care about her as more than just a "comrade-in-passion" (FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!).

2. You DO want her in a more permanent relationship but are changing your plans to suit the situation (and her(.

If you are happy in this particular relationship agreement, then go ahead. No need to seek approval from us or anyone else . Here's your virtual high-five.

But....here is my advice: If you want more, don't settle for less. You are a complete being with needs, wants and desires. Not a dildo with a heartbeat that she can use whenever she's bored. If she cannot understand that, put your foot down and say, "Sorry babe, but I am no one's hoe."

I know that this sort of advice may be considered contrary to societal views on machismo and a man's role and what not, but watching out for your own psychological needs is something I think you have to consider.

But hey, what do I know?

 

[skyfire_freckles]

If uncomplicated is what you're after you've already failed.

I got a great piece of advice from a friend who caught me cheating once: "I saw what you did," he said. "If you're having a good time, proceeed. As soon as you're not having a good time, stop."