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Zahri

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Dec 15, 2008
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So recently i became a DM, and i would like yall to comment on the story ^^ And keep in mind i have ripped off names like a mofo o.o

The great god Ahzrukhal, god of blood and life brought prosperity to his subjects. He was praised without end by his followers, though there came the day when such praise began to change him.

With time, he grew corrupt, and used his powers to satisfy his own ends at the cost of his followers.

The people grew angry, and so it came upon one person to bring down the tyrant. Under the shrouds of forbidden spells, he went to work. It was by his means that a curse was brought down upon the continents the mighty deity resided in. A great and eternal storm was called upon the land, trapping whatever gods may be inside and severely undermining their powers.

The mighty sorcerer came upon the god, and with restraints forged of his own mystic blood, he bound the god.

He took to traversing the land, gathering all manner of sacred relics and oddities, and with the help of his new following, built an altar at the center of the land. It was here that the beast was sacrificed, giving forth a shining light and the birth of a new god.

Is was here that the sorcerer became the god of rain and snow. It is unfortunate that even through his own means, the curse of the land could not be broken. He took to his own ends, using his undercut powers to bring some happiness to the people, bringing forth rain whenever needed to that the crops may grow.

It came to be that the new god would create a new continent adjacent to the old, forged entirely of ice, and make his domain there.

These lands would be called cursed and forsaken by the gods of the outside world, and a great many years later, tales would spread of untold riches past the mighty unrelenting gales, spread forth from the one and only ship that has managed to traverse the heavy storms.

A mighty ship indeed, forged entirely of steel, riding through the air, suspended by a cloth, and the mighty breath of the dragon pulling it through the skies.

Here the ship would remain until ready to return with mighty adventurers ready to explore these forgotten lands and bring news of the outside.

It is unfortunate that sinister forces have other plans for those who choose to board this vessel.

Anyone like? ^^ Also, is the steam deal this week for dragon age worth it? o.o
 

hamster mk 4

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Apr 29, 2008
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It is a nice back story, and there is a lot of potential in this world. However you left out a lot of important stuff like factions, plot hooks, short term, and long term goals. This is like the blurb at the start of all the War Hammer 40k books "In the grim darkness of the future there is only war." Sure it sets the sceene nicely, but it does nothing to explain the complex relationship between Rouge Traiders and the Inquisition for example.

If you are an experienced DM you probably have this stuff worked out in your head at least. You may not want to post it online i ncase your PC's get wind of any spoilers. But you can't expect us to give an edjucated oppinion of your campaign if we don't know the details.