Spoilers follow for the August 25th episode of Raw.
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Raw opens with Michael Cole standing in the ring, as he's introducing the first-ever "Hall of Fame Forum." Hulk Hogan is brought down to the ring, brother. Then Ric Flair. Woo! And finally Shawn Michaels. They're going to talk about John Cena and Brock Lesnar. HBK insinuates that, perhaps, it's time for John Cena to retire. Hulk Hogan, brother, suggests that, brother, John Cena can still go, brother. None of them seem to think that Cena will have a chance at Night of Champions. Okay, maybe Hogan, brother. He's at least rooting for Cena. They bicker for a little while before Cena comes out, completely no-selling his beatdown. He looks fine.
Cena says that after 16 German suplexes, he is a changed man. Because ... he wants to fight Lesnar again. Okay? That's no different from his usual "Hustle, loyalty, respect" thing. He says he will beat Lesnar at Night of Champions. Sure you will, John. Sure you will.
Rusev (with Lana) vs. Jack Swagger
The match is boring -- at least in the beginning. Swagger dominates for most of it, and Rusev takes a few hits before escaping from the ring. Rusev hasn't looked this week during his time on the main roster. I mean, even when he starts a two-move comeback win, he never looked to be scared of his opponent. This happens during the early portion of this match. Right before the mid-match commercial break, he starts to get momentum back. Swagger eventually gets to hit more offense and just continues to make Rusev look weak. We almost see Rusev tap -- he certainly teases it -- and Rusev's selling of his ankle pain is just great. Outside of Dean Ambrose, he might be the best seller on the roster.
A couple of near-falls keep this match working well in its second half. Rusev eventually begins to dominate like the monster heel that he is. The match ends after the referee stopped the match as Rusev continued to beat down on Swagger. A lame ending but a pretty solid match after its initial slowness.
Match Rating: ***
Backstage, after the commercial break, we're shown Jack Swagger nursing his injured ribs. Bo Dallas tells him he let down his country and he should bolieve.
<color=Red>United States Championship Number 1 Contender's Match: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam
Sheamus is on commentary. Kayfabe-wise, Rob Van Dam should win this match. He picked up a clean victory over Cesaro at SummerSlam, and there hasn't been any reason for Cesaro to have improved since then. It's not like RVD is selling the beatdown that Randy Orton gave him last week.
But that's what happens. Cesaro dominates the match, RVD gets a couple of moves in, and then Cesaro rolls out of the way of the Five-Star Frog Splash, gets a semi-cheap shot in, and hits The Neutralizer for the win.
Match Rating: **1/2
Cesaro takes Sheamus' title after the match, playing mind-games. Hey, remember when Sheamus and The Miz were feuding? Yeah. We're doing this now.
Natalya vs. Paige
Third time's the charm, right? Well, kind of. While still not the greatest of matches -- it was too slow to be a great one -- this was the bets of the three bouts that the two Divas have had, simply because it was given a proper finish and a decent amount of time. Paige winds up winning with the Paige Turner.
Match Rating: **
AJ Lee's music hits after the match, and Natalya hits her clothesline on Paige afterward. AJ heads into the ring to help up Paige, smiling as she does. She grabs a mic. She claims that she's incredibly sincere, drops the mic, and then slowly walks toward Paige. AJ hugs Paige "sincerely." Paige eventually pushes AJ off, gently, and AJ offers a handshake. Paige refuses, and AJ grabs Paige's hand and kisses it, royally. AJ then skips away. I don't know where this is going but I like it.
Corporate Kane is out after the commercial break. We're eulogizing Dean Ambrose, because eulogies are something we should make light of. Kane introduces Seth Rollins, the future of the WWE, he claims. Rollins gets to pretend he's sad while talking about Rollins. But only kind of sad; he was pretty much the reason that Ambrose is "dead." Rollins then starts laughing, because he's not really sad. Rollins continues talking before Roman Reigns comes out. He's not really making a save here, but he beats up Kane and then goes after Rollins. Good to see they didn't forget about this. Reigns beats down Rollins with the furniture in the ring before Kane pulls Rollins out of danger.
WWE World Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) vs. Goldust and Stardust
Apparently the team of Stardust/Goldust is now called "Gold and Stardust," which means they've either named that their team name or Goldust's name has been officially changed to "Gold." Or WWE is just stupid.
A brief albeit entertaining tag team match between two teams who can put on good matches. The teams have good chemistry and while we've seen this match before, it's fun. The Usos wind up being counted out, causing them to lose but still retain the titles.
Match Rating: **1/2
The bigger story comes after the match. Goldust grabs a mic and claims that he wants a rematch right now, since the count out victory is stupid. And then Stardust and Goldust attack The Usos, effectively turning heel. Well, that's something.
Kane and Rollins are backstage after the commercial break, and Rollins is pretty upset. They need to do something about Roman Reigns. Kane wants to book Rollins vs. Reigns. Rollins says it should be a handicap match. So Kane and Rollins will face Reigns later on. Cool.
We get a taped interview with Lesnar afterward. Remember: Lesnar should not get to speak.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
The Miz has a mic on the stage, and is not dressed in ring attire. He introduces his stunt double, playing the part of The Miz in this match. It's Damien Sandow.
Match Rating: N/A
Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow (with The Miz)
The Miz is on commentary, as he often is nowadays. Sandow reminds us how good he is at playing characters and wrestling by putting on a solid performance. He still loses in quick fashion. It's a shame that he's talented and because of his talent he's relegated to this role. Whatever. A Zig-Zag wins the match for Ziggler.
Match Rating: **
Jerry Lawler is in the ring next, as he's going to try to end the dispute between the Bella Twins. They're enemies right now, and he's going to try to get them to settle their differences. Brie tries to get them to patch things up, but Nikki isn't having it. She calls Brie selfish. Nikki is so much better on the mic that it's not even close. She carries this promo. Eventually she starts assaulting Brie, after making Brie "cry" -- but not really cry, because it's Brie and Brie can't act.
Roman Reigns vs. Kane and Seth Rollins
Reigns dominates most of the match. Like, really dominates. I don't know if Kane and Rollins even get in a move or two of offense. Reigns gets his few moves and hits a spear on Kane. Rollins hits him with the Money in the Bank briefcase to stop the pinfall but take the DQ loss. Apparently that's better?
Match Rating: **
They beat down on Reigns after the match, doing the same cinderblock thing from last week. But Reigns is strong and booked stronger, so he fights out and then does some more dominating. He picks up a cinderblock and tries to throw it at Rollins. Rollins ducks and it hits a ring post. Reigns then hits a Superman Punch on Kane. He really is being booked as the only one who might be able to take on Lesnar.
A Bray Wyatt promo is up next. He hypes the main event. He faces Cena in the main event tonight.
Los Matadores (Diego, Fernando, with El Torito) vs. Slater Gator (Heath Slater and Titus O'Neil)
The bathroom break segment. Los Matadores can sometimes be exciting, and Slater Gator is filled with loveable losers, but, really, there's nothing exciting about this match. It's dull, completely uninteresting, boring, and as pointless as me finishing this sentence. But I did finish it, because this match exists.
Los Matadores wins with a crucifix pin.
Match Rating: *1/2
Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas
Wait, this is the bathroom break segment. Maybe WWE is being considerate and thinking we need a really long bathroom break. Kofi does some high-flying stuff, Dallas hits a counter and his finisher and wins. Bo-ring.
Match Rating: *1/2
Dallas grabs a mic after the match, talking more about Jack Swagger than anything else. I guess we're building toward that feud, huh? Swagger comes out and hits Dallas with a powerslam, all while still selling the rib injury.
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt (with Luke Harper and Erick Rowan)
Hey, you know how people like Rusev, Swagger, or Ambrose understand how to sell injuries after massive beatdowns? Yeah, John Cena doesn't do that. He looks 100% in this match. Yes, despite suffering the beating of a lifetime.
Cena dominates this match. Complete domination, like what happened at SummerSlam to Cena by Lesnar. Cena hits German suplexes. Cena hits clotheslines. Cena hits punches. Wyatt gets like two moves in. And then Harper and Rowan interfere and make Wyatt lose by DQ. They beat down Cena, and then Big Show and Mark Henry come out to make the save.
Match Rating: *1/2
We come back from commercial break to a 6-man tag team match.
John Cena, Big Show, and Mark Henry vs. Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Erick Rowan
So, in case you weren't already bored, now you get to see Big Show, Mark Henry, and Erick Rowan. They always make matches better! Oh, wait, that's the opposite of what I wanted to say. The only good addition is Luke Harper, but against the likes of Henry or Show, he isn't going to get to do much.
At least it's better than the burial Cena was holding for Wyatt, but only just. It's boring, filled with only a couple of good moments, and for the most part exists just so Cena can stand tall after the match. He does just that. He hits an AA on each Wyatt Family member to close out the show.
Match Rating: **
The Good: Rusev vs. Swagger.
The Bad: Los Matadores vs. Slater Gator. Kingston vs. Dallas.
Match of the Night: Rusev vs. Jack Swagger.
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Raw opens with Michael Cole standing in the ring, as he's introducing the first-ever "Hall of Fame Forum." Hulk Hogan is brought down to the ring, brother. Then Ric Flair. Woo! And finally Shawn Michaels. They're going to talk about John Cena and Brock Lesnar. HBK insinuates that, perhaps, it's time for John Cena to retire. Hulk Hogan, brother, suggests that, brother, John Cena can still go, brother. None of them seem to think that Cena will have a chance at Night of Champions. Okay, maybe Hogan, brother. He's at least rooting for Cena. They bicker for a little while before Cena comes out, completely no-selling his beatdown. He looks fine.
Cena says that after 16 German suplexes, he is a changed man. Because ... he wants to fight Lesnar again. Okay? That's no different from his usual "Hustle, loyalty, respect" thing. He says he will beat Lesnar at Night of Champions. Sure you will, John. Sure you will.
Rusev (with Lana) vs. Jack Swagger
The match is boring -- at least in the beginning. Swagger dominates for most of it, and Rusev takes a few hits before escaping from the ring. Rusev hasn't looked this week during his time on the main roster. I mean, even when he starts a two-move comeback win, he never looked to be scared of his opponent. This happens during the early portion of this match. Right before the mid-match commercial break, he starts to get momentum back. Swagger eventually gets to hit more offense and just continues to make Rusev look weak. We almost see Rusev tap -- he certainly teases it -- and Rusev's selling of his ankle pain is just great. Outside of Dean Ambrose, he might be the best seller on the roster.
A couple of near-falls keep this match working well in its second half. Rusev eventually begins to dominate like the monster heel that he is. The match ends after the referee stopped the match as Rusev continued to beat down on Swagger. A lame ending but a pretty solid match after its initial slowness.
Match Rating: ***
Backstage, after the commercial break, we're shown Jack Swagger nursing his injured ribs. Bo Dallas tells him he let down his country and he should bolieve.
<color=Red>United States Championship Number 1 Contender's Match: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam
Sheamus is on commentary. Kayfabe-wise, Rob Van Dam should win this match. He picked up a clean victory over Cesaro at SummerSlam, and there hasn't been any reason for Cesaro to have improved since then. It's not like RVD is selling the beatdown that Randy Orton gave him last week.
But that's what happens. Cesaro dominates the match, RVD gets a couple of moves in, and then Cesaro rolls out of the way of the Five-Star Frog Splash, gets a semi-cheap shot in, and hits The Neutralizer for the win.
Match Rating: **1/2
Cesaro takes Sheamus' title after the match, playing mind-games. Hey, remember when Sheamus and The Miz were feuding? Yeah. We're doing this now.
Natalya vs. Paige
Third time's the charm, right? Well, kind of. While still not the greatest of matches -- it was too slow to be a great one -- this was the bets of the three bouts that the two Divas have had, simply because it was given a proper finish and a decent amount of time. Paige winds up winning with the Paige Turner.
Match Rating: **
AJ Lee's music hits after the match, and Natalya hits her clothesline on Paige afterward. AJ heads into the ring to help up Paige, smiling as she does. She grabs a mic. She claims that she's incredibly sincere, drops the mic, and then slowly walks toward Paige. AJ hugs Paige "sincerely." Paige eventually pushes AJ off, gently, and AJ offers a handshake. Paige refuses, and AJ grabs Paige's hand and kisses it, royally. AJ then skips away. I don't know where this is going but I like it.
Corporate Kane is out after the commercial break. We're eulogizing Dean Ambrose, because eulogies are something we should make light of. Kane introduces Seth Rollins, the future of the WWE, he claims. Rollins gets to pretend he's sad while talking about Rollins. But only kind of sad; he was pretty much the reason that Ambrose is "dead." Rollins then starts laughing, because he's not really sad. Rollins continues talking before Roman Reigns comes out. He's not really making a save here, but he beats up Kane and then goes after Rollins. Good to see they didn't forget about this. Reigns beats down Rollins with the furniture in the ring before Kane pulls Rollins out of danger.
WWE World Tag Team Championship Match: The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) vs. Goldust and Stardust
Apparently the team of Stardust/Goldust is now called "Gold and Stardust," which means they've either named that their team name or Goldust's name has been officially changed to "Gold." Or WWE is just stupid.
A brief albeit entertaining tag team match between two teams who can put on good matches. The teams have good chemistry and while we've seen this match before, it's fun. The Usos wind up being counted out, causing them to lose but still retain the titles.
Match Rating: **1/2
The bigger story comes after the match. Goldust grabs a mic and claims that he wants a rematch right now, since the count out victory is stupid. And then Stardust and Goldust attack The Usos, effectively turning heel. Well, that's something.
Kane and Rollins are backstage after the commercial break, and Rollins is pretty upset. They need to do something about Roman Reigns. Kane wants to book Rollins vs. Reigns. Rollins says it should be a handicap match. So Kane and Rollins will face Reigns later on. Cool.
We get a taped interview with Lesnar afterward. Remember: Lesnar should not get to speak.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
The Miz has a mic on the stage, and is not dressed in ring attire. He introduces his stunt double, playing the part of The Miz in this match. It's Damien Sandow.
Match Rating: N/A
Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow (with The Miz)
The Miz is on commentary, as he often is nowadays. Sandow reminds us how good he is at playing characters and wrestling by putting on a solid performance. He still loses in quick fashion. It's a shame that he's talented and because of his talent he's relegated to this role. Whatever. A Zig-Zag wins the match for Ziggler.
Match Rating: **
Jerry Lawler is in the ring next, as he's going to try to end the dispute between the Bella Twins. They're enemies right now, and he's going to try to get them to settle their differences. Brie tries to get them to patch things up, but Nikki isn't having it. She calls Brie selfish. Nikki is so much better on the mic that it's not even close. She carries this promo. Eventually she starts assaulting Brie, after making Brie "cry" -- but not really cry, because it's Brie and Brie can't act.
Roman Reigns vs. Kane and Seth Rollins
Reigns dominates most of the match. Like, really dominates. I don't know if Kane and Rollins even get in a move or two of offense. Reigns gets his few moves and hits a spear on Kane. Rollins hits him with the Money in the Bank briefcase to stop the pinfall but take the DQ loss. Apparently that's better?
Match Rating: **
They beat down on Reigns after the match, doing the same cinderblock thing from last week. But Reigns is strong and booked stronger, so he fights out and then does some more dominating. He picks up a cinderblock and tries to throw it at Rollins. Rollins ducks and it hits a ring post. Reigns then hits a Superman Punch on Kane. He really is being booked as the only one who might be able to take on Lesnar.
A Bray Wyatt promo is up next. He hypes the main event. He faces Cena in the main event tonight.
Los Matadores (Diego, Fernando, with El Torito) vs. Slater Gator (Heath Slater and Titus O'Neil)
The bathroom break segment. Los Matadores can sometimes be exciting, and Slater Gator is filled with loveable losers, but, really, there's nothing exciting about this match. It's dull, completely uninteresting, boring, and as pointless as me finishing this sentence. But I did finish it, because this match exists.
Los Matadores wins with a crucifix pin.
Match Rating: *1/2
Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas
Wait, this is the bathroom break segment. Maybe WWE is being considerate and thinking we need a really long bathroom break. Kofi does some high-flying stuff, Dallas hits a counter and his finisher and wins. Bo-ring.
Match Rating: *1/2
Dallas grabs a mic after the match, talking more about Jack Swagger than anything else. I guess we're building toward that feud, huh? Swagger comes out and hits Dallas with a powerslam, all while still selling the rib injury.
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt (with Luke Harper and Erick Rowan)
Hey, you know how people like Rusev, Swagger, or Ambrose understand how to sell injuries after massive beatdowns? Yeah, John Cena doesn't do that. He looks 100% in this match. Yes, despite suffering the beating of a lifetime.
Cena dominates this match. Complete domination, like what happened at SummerSlam to Cena by Lesnar. Cena hits German suplexes. Cena hits clotheslines. Cena hits punches. Wyatt gets like two moves in. And then Harper and Rowan interfere and make Wyatt lose by DQ. They beat down Cena, and then Big Show and Mark Henry come out to make the save.
Match Rating: *1/2
We come back from commercial break to a 6-man tag team match.
John Cena, Big Show, and Mark Henry vs. Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Erick Rowan
So, in case you weren't already bored, now you get to see Big Show, Mark Henry, and Erick Rowan. They always make matches better! Oh, wait, that's the opposite of what I wanted to say. The only good addition is Luke Harper, but against the likes of Henry or Show, he isn't going to get to do much.
At least it's better than the burial Cena was holding for Wyatt, but only just. It's boring, filled with only a couple of good moments, and for the most part exists just so Cena can stand tall after the match. He does just that. He hits an AA on each Wyatt Family member to close out the show.
Match Rating: **
The Good: Rusev vs. Swagger.
The Bad: Los Matadores vs. Slater Gator. Kingston vs. Dallas.
Match of the Night: Rusev vs. Jack Swagger.
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.
