Spoilers follow for the June 2nd episode of Raw.
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I usually enjoy the Raws following a PPV. Good shows are put on, we get to see what direction the show will take for the next month, and they usually wind up being worth seeing. One can only hope that this will also be the case tonight.
The show begins with Evolution coming out to the ring. Evolution did not get a single elimination on The Shield last night at Payback. Surely something needs to change. Triple H assures us that this isn't over, even though The Shield is 2-0. It won't be over until The Shield no longer exists, which will be tonight. Batista wants his championship match, not to continue fighting The Shield. Triple H says that he'll get that after The Shield is gone. Batista says he understands, and that he quits. Well, that's one way to write him off TV: copy Brie Bella. Hey, her character looked stronger last night than Batista's did, so perhaps that's not the worst idea.
Sheamus and Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro (with Paul Heyman) and Bad News Barrett
Paul Heyman is on commentary. Either both of these feuds are going to continue, or we're getting one more match between them before they all get to move on to something else. The tag match highlights how Rob Van Dam doesn't really belong with any of them. They're all more than competent brawlers, while RVD feels like the odd man out. He doesn't fit in. That doesn't mean the matches can't be good, but it feels like he was just thrown in without any thought in regards to how it looks -- probably because he was.
This is a good match -- as good as either group's match last night at Payback -- even if it does feel sort of empty. Neither story has any momentum now -- one never did, one sort of did -- and it seems to exist just to fill time. With good in-ring work, I'm perfectly okay with that, but a reason for a match means that we can care more.
Eventually, Paul Heyman leaves the commentary team and takes Cesaro out of the match. Barrett finishes the match alone, eats the finisher of each of his competitors, and takes the loss. Cesaro and Heyman look on from the stage. Cesrao never "quit" before, but looks weak after making that decision.
Match Rating: ***
"Lance Stephenson" comes out to do some basketball things in the ring. He makes fun of the Indiana Pacers and then showcases his basketball skills. By the way, "Lance Stephenson" is Damien Sandow, for whom I feel incredibly sorry. He's interrupted by Big Show, because remember how they did a thing together a few weeks back?
"Stephenson" challenges Big Show to a game of pick-up. Big Show used to play college basketball, but that doesn't matter. Show throws the ball at "Stephenson" and delivers the Knockout Punch. He then does a slam dunk and breaks the hoop. He goes backstage and "Stephenson" is hurt in the ring. Poor, poor, poor Damien Sandow.
Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas
A "rematch" of last night, since the match never happened after Kane destroyed Kofi, still with only hypothesized justification. Bo Dallas is now being introduced as "the inspirational." Dallas grabs the mic and says there's only one reason the Miami Heat defeated the Pacers: they bolieved. Two cheap basketball references in a row. Whatever tries to get him over, I guess, since audiences aren't buying him.
This is a much slower match than the two men should put on. It's short, it's sweet, but it's not particularly good. The crowd chants "BO-ring" midway through, after which point it gets slightly more interesting -- as Kofi starts hitting some offensive moves. Dallas eventually picks up the ring, as Kofi doesn't get to win matches anymore that aren't on Superstars.
Match Rating: *1/2
Stephanie is out to the ring next to make an announcement regarding the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Awesome. Stephanie is so great on the mic that it's hardly even fair for everyone else. Bryan is being painted as selfish for not doing what's best for business and surrender the title. Stephanie announces Kane vs. Bryan for the title in a stretcher match at Money in the Bank, and if Bryan can't compete, the titular match will be, well, for the title.
And then John Cena's music hits. Does this mean we're done with the Cena/Wyatt feud? Pretty please? Cena comes out to say that no one person is bigger than the Heavyweight Championship. Not Bryan, and not Stephanie. It turns out we're actually just building up Bryan further, because if Cena endorses you, you're going to look pretty good. After taunting Stephanie some, Stephanie books Cena vs. Kane for the next slot on this Raw.
John Cena vs. Kane
So, SuperCena will bury the up-and-comer Kane here tonight, just like he totally did with Bray Wyatt, right? I'm being facetious. Kane and Cena probably don't need a match here, as it doesn't do anything for either man, but it'll at least be a pretty decent in-ring bout. And it was decent, at least until Kane didn't stop stomping on Cena in the corner and was disqualified. It was too short to be much of a match, but what we saw promised something better.
Match Rating: **
Kane then beats up Cena outside the ring, much like what he did to Bryan several weeks ago. But Cena fights back before being taken out completely, eventually taking Kane out with the steel steps. Are we going to do Cena vs. Kane for a month? At least that would be better than Cena/Wyatt for the twentieth straight month.
After the commercial, Hornswoggle comes out with 3MB with an afro. Why is this still a thing?
Los Matadores (Diego and Fernando) vs. 3MB (Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre)
Since El Torito has already taken out all three 3MB members, do they have any credibility at all anymore? Early in the match, El Torito takes the afro off Hornswoggle, and the distraction lets a Los Matadores member roll up Slater for the win. Yawn.
Match Rating: *
<color=Red>Handicap Match: Nikki Bella vs. Aksana and Alicia Fox
The commentators are saying that Nikki is being punished for the stuff with Brie, which is fine. Nikki is taken out in just a few moves. This was barely a real match. Alicia Fox throws Nikki out of the ring afterward (and eventually tilt-a-whirl backbreakers her) and then continues to act crazy, because once you've got a gimmick, stick with it.
Match Rating: *
A Wyatt Family promo happens after, but it's Luke Harper doing the talking, not Bray Wyatt. Wyatt's not even there. Harper hypes up the match against the Usos later on tonight -- which should have happened at Payback, but whatever. Rowan concludes with "follow the buzzards," which is the first time I've ever heard him speak.
We come back from commercial part way through a Zeb Colter promo. Good job, WWE. He's still talking about Adam Rose being deported, because Rose and Swagger were left off the Payback card for some reason. Rose's music then hits. Are these two finally going to have a real match? Let's find out!
Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter) vs. Adam Rose
After seeing it, I now understand why Swagger/Rose didn't make the Payback card. For Rose's first real match, this is a disappointment. You can tell he's athletic, but this gimmick will hinder his ability in the ring. He has to do too much stupid stuff to do much that's impressive. He and Swagger don't share much chemistry, and there's nothing special or even good about this match. Rose very well might become the next Fandango.
Match Rating: *1/2
Luke Harper and Erick Rowan vs. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso)
Harper and Rowan don't get an entrance. Unlike the prior match, this one should have been on the Payback card, whether it be for the Tag Team Championships (remember those?) or not. This is a strong, physical, and surprisingly entertaining match, even if Harper/Rowan are better with Bray Wyatt in their corner. The Usos look credible when battling with the big men, and the larger Superstars are fast enough to keep up with the "Flying Samoans." Apparently Luke Harper respects the Usos enough to do his more high-flying moves, something we only see him do against top-tier opponents.
Erick Rowan eventually picks up the win after a very solid match. That's right, Rowan spoke and picked up a pinfall victory on the same night. The commentators say that this puts Rowan and Harper in the Tag Team Title picture; I think this match should have been for the Championships. What fun that was.
Match Rating: ****
<color=Red>Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler
To determine who will compete in the main match at Money in the Bank, we're going to get a series of qualifying matches on Raw (and maybe Smackdown?). If nothing else, this was bound to be a good in-ring match, even if it likely didn't stand a chance when compared to the one that directly preceded it. And that's exactly what happened. Really good in-ring work from both men, a lot of back-and-forth action, a fast pace, and each Superstar's big moves. Sadly, Del Rio picks up the win with the Cross Armbreaker.
Match Rating: ***
RybAxel (Ryback and Curtis Axel) vs. Goldust and Sin Cara
After last night, Cody Rhodes found a new partner for Goldust. Presumably, that'll become a thing now, where Goldust will have a new partner each week after losing each match. Or maybe not. I thought Cody would be turning heel, so what do I know? Goldust is a really good worker right now, but he's going nowhere right now. We need to have him and Cody feud. This is a placeholder story.
What about the match? Standard stuff. Goldust and RybAxel is boring at this point, and Sin Cara doesn't get to do a whole lot. Sin Cara does, however, get pinned for the loss. Cody watches from the locker room and looks sad. This will probably be the first of many loses for Goldust and "???."
Match Rating: **
Lana and Rusev are out next, not for a match but to celebrate beating Big E last night. Lana talks a bunch about how America sucks, and then Rusev gets a gold star. No interruptions. No run-ins. Just ... that happened. Huh. Nobody decided to defend America. Perhaps the idea is that this will get Rusev more heat. I hope so.
Roman Reigns (with Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins) vs. Randy Orton (with Triple H)
The Shield cuts a promo about brotherhood. Triple H comes out with a sledgehammer. Seth Rollins goes and gets a chair to even the odds. Triple H says he always has a Plan B. Then Seth Rollins attacks the other members of The Shield with the chair. Heel turn for Rollins! Rollins continues to beat up his former partners. Then Orton gets to do the same. Raw ends with Evolution standing strong.
The Good: Harper/Rowan vs. The Usos. Del Rio/Ziggler. Harper/Rowan promo. Stephanie/Cena. Opening tag team match. Final segment.
The Bad: Handicap Divas match. Los Matadores/3MB.
Match of the Night: Luke Harper and Erick Rowan vs. The Usos.
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I usually enjoy the Raws following a PPV. Good shows are put on, we get to see what direction the show will take for the next month, and they usually wind up being worth seeing. One can only hope that this will also be the case tonight.
The show begins with Evolution coming out to the ring. Evolution did not get a single elimination on The Shield last night at Payback. Surely something needs to change. Triple H assures us that this isn't over, even though The Shield is 2-0. It won't be over until The Shield no longer exists, which will be tonight. Batista wants his championship match, not to continue fighting The Shield. Triple H says that he'll get that after The Shield is gone. Batista says he understands, and that he quits. Well, that's one way to write him off TV: copy Brie Bella. Hey, her character looked stronger last night than Batista's did, so perhaps that's not the worst idea.
Sheamus and Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro (with Paul Heyman) and Bad News Barrett
Paul Heyman is on commentary. Either both of these feuds are going to continue, or we're getting one more match between them before they all get to move on to something else. The tag match highlights how Rob Van Dam doesn't really belong with any of them. They're all more than competent brawlers, while RVD feels like the odd man out. He doesn't fit in. That doesn't mean the matches can't be good, but it feels like he was just thrown in without any thought in regards to how it looks -- probably because he was.
This is a good match -- as good as either group's match last night at Payback -- even if it does feel sort of empty. Neither story has any momentum now -- one never did, one sort of did -- and it seems to exist just to fill time. With good in-ring work, I'm perfectly okay with that, but a reason for a match means that we can care more.
Eventually, Paul Heyman leaves the commentary team and takes Cesaro out of the match. Barrett finishes the match alone, eats the finisher of each of his competitors, and takes the loss. Cesaro and Heyman look on from the stage. Cesrao never "quit" before, but looks weak after making that decision.
Match Rating: ***
"Lance Stephenson" comes out to do some basketball things in the ring. He makes fun of the Indiana Pacers and then showcases his basketball skills. By the way, "Lance Stephenson" is Damien Sandow, for whom I feel incredibly sorry. He's interrupted by Big Show, because remember how they did a thing together a few weeks back?
"Stephenson" challenges Big Show to a game of pick-up. Big Show used to play college basketball, but that doesn't matter. Show throws the ball at "Stephenson" and delivers the Knockout Punch. He then does a slam dunk and breaks the hoop. He goes backstage and "Stephenson" is hurt in the ring. Poor, poor, poor Damien Sandow.
Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas
A "rematch" of last night, since the match never happened after Kane destroyed Kofi, still with only hypothesized justification. Bo Dallas is now being introduced as "the inspirational." Dallas grabs the mic and says there's only one reason the Miami Heat defeated the Pacers: they bolieved. Two cheap basketball references in a row. Whatever tries to get him over, I guess, since audiences aren't buying him.
This is a much slower match than the two men should put on. It's short, it's sweet, but it's not particularly good. The crowd chants "BO-ring" midway through, after which point it gets slightly more interesting -- as Kofi starts hitting some offensive moves. Dallas eventually picks up the ring, as Kofi doesn't get to win matches anymore that aren't on Superstars.
Match Rating: *1/2
Stephanie is out to the ring next to make an announcement regarding the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Awesome. Stephanie is so great on the mic that it's hardly even fair for everyone else. Bryan is being painted as selfish for not doing what's best for business and surrender the title. Stephanie announces Kane vs. Bryan for the title in a stretcher match at Money in the Bank, and if Bryan can't compete, the titular match will be, well, for the title.
And then John Cena's music hits. Does this mean we're done with the Cena/Wyatt feud? Pretty please? Cena comes out to say that no one person is bigger than the Heavyweight Championship. Not Bryan, and not Stephanie. It turns out we're actually just building up Bryan further, because if Cena endorses you, you're going to look pretty good. After taunting Stephanie some, Stephanie books Cena vs. Kane for the next slot on this Raw.
John Cena vs. Kane
So, SuperCena will bury the up-and-comer Kane here tonight, just like he totally did with Bray Wyatt, right? I'm being facetious. Kane and Cena probably don't need a match here, as it doesn't do anything for either man, but it'll at least be a pretty decent in-ring bout. And it was decent, at least until Kane didn't stop stomping on Cena in the corner and was disqualified. It was too short to be much of a match, but what we saw promised something better.
Match Rating: **
Kane then beats up Cena outside the ring, much like what he did to Bryan several weeks ago. But Cena fights back before being taken out completely, eventually taking Kane out with the steel steps. Are we going to do Cena vs. Kane for a month? At least that would be better than Cena/Wyatt for the twentieth straight month.
After the commercial, Hornswoggle comes out with 3MB with an afro. Why is this still a thing?
Los Matadores (Diego and Fernando) vs. 3MB (Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre)
Since El Torito has already taken out all three 3MB members, do they have any credibility at all anymore? Early in the match, El Torito takes the afro off Hornswoggle, and the distraction lets a Los Matadores member roll up Slater for the win. Yawn.
Match Rating: *
<color=Red>Handicap Match: Nikki Bella vs. Aksana and Alicia Fox
The commentators are saying that Nikki is being punished for the stuff with Brie, which is fine. Nikki is taken out in just a few moves. This was barely a real match. Alicia Fox throws Nikki out of the ring afterward (and eventually tilt-a-whirl backbreakers her) and then continues to act crazy, because once you've got a gimmick, stick with it.
Match Rating: *
A Wyatt Family promo happens after, but it's Luke Harper doing the talking, not Bray Wyatt. Wyatt's not even there. Harper hypes up the match against the Usos later on tonight -- which should have happened at Payback, but whatever. Rowan concludes with "follow the buzzards," which is the first time I've ever heard him speak.
We come back from commercial part way through a Zeb Colter promo. Good job, WWE. He's still talking about Adam Rose being deported, because Rose and Swagger were left off the Payback card for some reason. Rose's music then hits. Are these two finally going to have a real match? Let's find out!
Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter) vs. Adam Rose
After seeing it, I now understand why Swagger/Rose didn't make the Payback card. For Rose's first real match, this is a disappointment. You can tell he's athletic, but this gimmick will hinder his ability in the ring. He has to do too much stupid stuff to do much that's impressive. He and Swagger don't share much chemistry, and there's nothing special or even good about this match. Rose very well might become the next Fandango.
Match Rating: *1/2
Luke Harper and Erick Rowan vs. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso)
Harper and Rowan don't get an entrance. Unlike the prior match, this one should have been on the Payback card, whether it be for the Tag Team Championships (remember those?) or not. This is a strong, physical, and surprisingly entertaining match, even if Harper/Rowan are better with Bray Wyatt in their corner. The Usos look credible when battling with the big men, and the larger Superstars are fast enough to keep up with the "Flying Samoans." Apparently Luke Harper respects the Usos enough to do his more high-flying moves, something we only see him do against top-tier opponents.
Erick Rowan eventually picks up the win after a very solid match. That's right, Rowan spoke and picked up a pinfall victory on the same night. The commentators say that this puts Rowan and Harper in the Tag Team Title picture; I think this match should have been for the Championships. What fun that was.
Match Rating: ****
<color=Red>Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler
To determine who will compete in the main match at Money in the Bank, we're going to get a series of qualifying matches on Raw (and maybe Smackdown?). If nothing else, this was bound to be a good in-ring match, even if it likely didn't stand a chance when compared to the one that directly preceded it. And that's exactly what happened. Really good in-ring work from both men, a lot of back-and-forth action, a fast pace, and each Superstar's big moves. Sadly, Del Rio picks up the win with the Cross Armbreaker.
Match Rating: ***
RybAxel (Ryback and Curtis Axel) vs. Goldust and Sin Cara
After last night, Cody Rhodes found a new partner for Goldust. Presumably, that'll become a thing now, where Goldust will have a new partner each week after losing each match. Or maybe not. I thought Cody would be turning heel, so what do I know? Goldust is a really good worker right now, but he's going nowhere right now. We need to have him and Cody feud. This is a placeholder story.
What about the match? Standard stuff. Goldust and RybAxel is boring at this point, and Sin Cara doesn't get to do a whole lot. Sin Cara does, however, get pinned for the loss. Cody watches from the locker room and looks sad. This will probably be the first of many loses for Goldust and "???."
Match Rating: **
Lana and Rusev are out next, not for a match but to celebrate beating Big E last night. Lana talks a bunch about how America sucks, and then Rusev gets a gold star. No interruptions. No run-ins. Just ... that happened. Huh. Nobody decided to defend America. Perhaps the idea is that this will get Rusev more heat. I hope so.
Roman Reigns (with Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins) vs. Randy Orton (with Triple H)
The Shield cuts a promo about brotherhood. Triple H comes out with a sledgehammer. Seth Rollins goes and gets a chair to even the odds. Triple H says he always has a Plan B. Then Seth Rollins attacks the other members of The Shield with the chair. Heel turn for Rollins! Rollins continues to beat up his former partners. Then Orton gets to do the same. Raw ends with Evolution standing strong.
The Good: Harper/Rowan vs. The Usos. Del Rio/Ziggler. Harper/Rowan promo. Stephanie/Cena. Opening tag team match. Final segment.
The Bad: Handicap Divas match. Los Matadores/3MB.
Match of the Night: Luke Harper and Erick Rowan vs. The Usos.
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.
