Spoilers follow for the March 23rd episode of Raw.
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It's the last Raw before WrestleMania! Normally that might mean something, but since this year's 'Mania build has been so mediocre, I feel like it really doesn't. Compound that with Bill Simmons and Snoop Dogg being the guest stars, and one has to wonder why anyone would care.
However, Sting shows up to kick off the show, and that's a pretty swell way to begin. He even gets to talk, which is also pretty great. He cuts a promo about how evil Triple H is. Because Triple H is evil, until his next face turn. Sting says he's not fighting for WCW, because that would be ridiculous. Hasn't WWE been building this as WWE vs. WCW for months now?
Stephanie McMahon comes down to confront Sting. They go back and a forth for a bit. Stephanie tries to slap him at one point, but gets caught. That brings out Triple H, who takes off his tie on the stage, because he's really mad for some reason. Stephanie is allowed to leave the ring and Triple H takes off his suit jacket, too. He's ready for a fight. Stephanie gets a sledgehammer and hands it to her husband, but Sting's got a baseball bat. Of course, they're not going to fight on free TV! Stephanie stops her husband from getting into the ring. Well, it was a better opening segment than a 20-minute go-nowhere promo.
Dean Ambrose and R-Truth vs. Luke Harper and Stardust
Bad News Barrett is on commentary, which is great. When the match focuses on Ambrose vs. Harper, it's also pretty good. That's a feud we could have fun with in the future and NO WE HAVE NEVER HAD IT BEFORE EVER. Ambrose spends most of the match tagged in for his side, while Harper and Stardust tag in and out with at least some regularity. Truth eventually gets tagged in, Ambrose takes out Harper, Truth sloppily hits his finisher, and the faces win the match.
Match Rating: ***
Truth gets Ambrose to dance a little bit after the match, and they celebrate together.
A Special Olympics advertisement happens next. WWE partners with the Special Olympics, and that's good on them. Renee Young delivers the promo for them, even though the president of the Special Olympics is there, too. Oh well.
A Roman Reigns interview is aired. It's as boring as that sounds.
Ryback, Erick Rowan, Zack Ryder, and The Prime Time Players (Titus O'Neil and Darren Young) vs. The Miz, Damien Sandow, Adam Rose, and The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor)
Bill Simmons is on commentary. The crowd is understandably dead. Nobody in this match -- outside of maybe Miz/Sandow -- have anything going for them. And none of them have much shot at winning the match at WrestleMania. As such, a match that' supposed to be hyping us up for the PPV does the opposite. The match isn't fun, it has nothing going for it, and if you wanted to, you could sleep through it.
Things almost get exciting when Sandow tags in, but Miz stops us from getting too excited by tagging himself in before anything good happens. Ryback eventually gets into the match and wins it for his team.
Match Rating: **
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins and J&J Security (Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury)
Fans voted for Orton to take on this team, in a handicap match, instead of facing either Big Show or Kane. No, it's not rigged at all. AT ALL.
It's not a long match. The heels beat on Orton a bunch, Orton beats on J&J Security, and then Jamie Noble eats an RKO.
Match Rating: *1/2
A pre-recorded interview with John Cena is aired. It's as boring as the Roman Reigns one.
WWE Divas Championship Match: Paige (with AJ Lee) vs. Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella)
For the second straight week on Raw, we get a really solid Divas match. And, for the second straight week on Raw, the commentators show us that they literally have no idea how to call a Divas match. But maybe they'll learn. Maybe we'll get more matches like this, and like the Nikki/AJ match we got last week, and they'll be forced to learn. Maybe the #GiveDivasaChance hashtag will actually do some good.
A couple of hardcore-ish spots, some decent wrestling, and a good deal of entertaining spots allow this to be worthwhile. It's got some good drama, too. The crowd, for the second straight week, gets involved in the match, too. Brie Bella's acting at ringside was even okay!
The finish is disappointing from a match perspective but works as a story. Both Divas tumble to the outside, AJ comes over to make sure Brie doesn't interfere, and then she turns around and hits Paige, accidently, thinking it was Nikki. That allows Nikki to get her into the ring and hit the Rack Attack for the win. Still, though, the match was really solid.
Match Rating: ***
Paige attacks AJ after the match and they brawl for a bit. We'll see how well they can work together at WrestleMania.
Snoop Dogg comes down to the ring next. Why? Who knows? That's the biggest name WWE could attract, I guess. He starts to hype WrestleMania, but is interrupted by Curtis Axel. Snoop Dogg brings out Hulk Hogan. Hogan cuts a promo on Axel, saying #AxelMania is a joke. Axel eventually tries to punch Hogan, but is blocked. Snoop Dogg then throws Axel over the top rope, leaving him and Hogan to celebrate in the ring.
The Brock Lesnar interview we've heard twice before is played. It's moderately more interesting than both Reigns' and Cena's interviews from earlier. But it says about as much, which is to say nothing more than we've already heard.
Los Matadores (Diego and Fernando, and El Torito) vs. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd and Natalya
The Usos are on commentary; Naomi is standing in the background, because why would we let a woman talk?
This is a rematch from Smackdown. It was sad then. It's not played as much for laughs this time, which is nice. So, it's not good, but it's moderately better than the last time we saw it. So, uh, yeah. There you go. They wrestle and stuff. It's decent-ish. El Torito pins Natalya with a sunset flip.
Match Rating: **
Bad News Barrett gets talked to by Kane backstage. Kane's here to take Barrett's title, so that it will be held in safekeeping before 'Mania. Barrett doesn't want to, but he's told he'll be stripped of it if he doesn't comply. So? Who cares? He can't do anything with it until the ladder match anyway! Whatever. He eventually relinquishes it, and a waste of a segment comes to an end.
Rusev vs. Jack Swagger
The last couple of times we did this they were glorified squash matches. This is the same as those. There's no way that Rusev's "unbeaten" streak is ending the Raw before WrestleMania. That'd just be stupid. Rusev wins with The Accolade in a match that has no interest to anyone.
Match Rating: *1/2
Rusev keeps The Accolade locked in for a while after the match. John Cena comes out to make the save. But Rusev grabs him and drives his spine into the barricade and the ring post. Then he throws him clean across the announcer's table. A big kick and a locked-in Accolade on the announcer's table sees Rusev going into WrestleMania with all the momentum. So you know who's winning (hint: Cenawinslol).
Bray Wyatt comes down to the ring next. I thought perhaps he was going to have his first Raw match in over a month, but he's here to cut a promo. He says some gibberish and then calls The Undertaker a liar. The lights flicker a little bit and Bray just keeps on going. It's a good promo -- one of Wyatt's better ones. He ends it in Undertaker's "pose." No, we don't get to see Undertaker.
Kevin Nash is named as the next inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. I guess he's the last one, isn't he? The class of 2015 is complete.
A Natalya/Tyson Kidd Burger King advertisement happens. It's, uh, what?
<color=red>Special Referee (Dean Ambrose) Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
After watching these two absolutely steal the gauntlet match that happened on Smackdown, it made sense for us to get this match on Raw. Did we need a special referee? No, but if we didn't have one then WWE would be giving us something we want for free, and that isn't okay!
They get to do really great things here, too. Their match is wonderfully exciting. There's not much to say beyond, well, it being lots of fun. Ziggler wins clean after a superkick and a Zig Zag. Yes, that's two straight clean wins for Ziggler over Bryan.
Match Rating: ***1/2
Ambrose hits a Dirty Deeds on Ziggler after the match, then he grabs a ladder and begins to climb. Bad News Barrett comes down to stop him, followed by all of the other men who will compete for the Intercontinental Championship at the PPV. They all brawl.
Our main event tonight is not a wrestling match -- because why would a wrestling show conclude with a wrestling match? -- but a "face-to-face confrontation" between Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns. I think they mentioned it was the first time this happened, effectively rendering the snowed-in episode of Raw non-canon, I guess. Or maybe they just forgot.
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman are in the ring first. Heyman gets a mic. He says little more than usual, and even mentions that if he hasn't sold you on Brock Lesnar already, it's pointless to try at this point. But he does so anyway. Reigns gets to follow that promo. Lesnar holds up the title. Reigns takes the title and holds it up, just the same. They then play tug of war with the title. No, seriously. And then we fade out. That's how Raw ends.
The Good: Paige/Nikki. Bryan/Ziggler.
The Bad: Orton/Rollins & J&J. Rusev/Swagger.
Match of the Night: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler.
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It's the last Raw before WrestleMania! Normally that might mean something, but since this year's 'Mania build has been so mediocre, I feel like it really doesn't. Compound that with Bill Simmons and Snoop Dogg being the guest stars, and one has to wonder why anyone would care.
However, Sting shows up to kick off the show, and that's a pretty swell way to begin. He even gets to talk, which is also pretty great. He cuts a promo about how evil Triple H is. Because Triple H is evil, until his next face turn. Sting says he's not fighting for WCW, because that would be ridiculous. Hasn't WWE been building this as WWE vs. WCW for months now?
Stephanie McMahon comes down to confront Sting. They go back and a forth for a bit. Stephanie tries to slap him at one point, but gets caught. That brings out Triple H, who takes off his tie on the stage, because he's really mad for some reason. Stephanie is allowed to leave the ring and Triple H takes off his suit jacket, too. He's ready for a fight. Stephanie gets a sledgehammer and hands it to her husband, but Sting's got a baseball bat. Of course, they're not going to fight on free TV! Stephanie stops her husband from getting into the ring. Well, it was a better opening segment than a 20-minute go-nowhere promo.
Dean Ambrose and R-Truth vs. Luke Harper and Stardust
Bad News Barrett is on commentary, which is great. When the match focuses on Ambrose vs. Harper, it's also pretty good. That's a feud we could have fun with in the future and NO WE HAVE NEVER HAD IT BEFORE EVER. Ambrose spends most of the match tagged in for his side, while Harper and Stardust tag in and out with at least some regularity. Truth eventually gets tagged in, Ambrose takes out Harper, Truth sloppily hits his finisher, and the faces win the match.
Match Rating: ***
Truth gets Ambrose to dance a little bit after the match, and they celebrate together.
A Special Olympics advertisement happens next. WWE partners with the Special Olympics, and that's good on them. Renee Young delivers the promo for them, even though the president of the Special Olympics is there, too. Oh well.
A Roman Reigns interview is aired. It's as boring as that sounds.
Ryback, Erick Rowan, Zack Ryder, and The Prime Time Players (Titus O'Neil and Darren Young) vs. The Miz, Damien Sandow, Adam Rose, and The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor)
Bill Simmons is on commentary. The crowd is understandably dead. Nobody in this match -- outside of maybe Miz/Sandow -- have anything going for them. And none of them have much shot at winning the match at WrestleMania. As such, a match that' supposed to be hyping us up for the PPV does the opposite. The match isn't fun, it has nothing going for it, and if you wanted to, you could sleep through it.
Things almost get exciting when Sandow tags in, but Miz stops us from getting too excited by tagging himself in before anything good happens. Ryback eventually gets into the match and wins it for his team.
Match Rating: **
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins and J&J Security (Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury)
Fans voted for Orton to take on this team, in a handicap match, instead of facing either Big Show or Kane. No, it's not rigged at all. AT ALL.
It's not a long match. The heels beat on Orton a bunch, Orton beats on J&J Security, and then Jamie Noble eats an RKO.
Match Rating: *1/2
A pre-recorded interview with John Cena is aired. It's as boring as the Roman Reigns one.
WWE Divas Championship Match: Paige (with AJ Lee) vs. Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella)
For the second straight week on Raw, we get a really solid Divas match. And, for the second straight week on Raw, the commentators show us that they literally have no idea how to call a Divas match. But maybe they'll learn. Maybe we'll get more matches like this, and like the Nikki/AJ match we got last week, and they'll be forced to learn. Maybe the #GiveDivasaChance hashtag will actually do some good.
A couple of hardcore-ish spots, some decent wrestling, and a good deal of entertaining spots allow this to be worthwhile. It's got some good drama, too. The crowd, for the second straight week, gets involved in the match, too. Brie Bella's acting at ringside was even okay!
The finish is disappointing from a match perspective but works as a story. Both Divas tumble to the outside, AJ comes over to make sure Brie doesn't interfere, and then she turns around and hits Paige, accidently, thinking it was Nikki. That allows Nikki to get her into the ring and hit the Rack Attack for the win. Still, though, the match was really solid.
Match Rating: ***
Paige attacks AJ after the match and they brawl for a bit. We'll see how well they can work together at WrestleMania.
Snoop Dogg comes down to the ring next. Why? Who knows? That's the biggest name WWE could attract, I guess. He starts to hype WrestleMania, but is interrupted by Curtis Axel. Snoop Dogg brings out Hulk Hogan. Hogan cuts a promo on Axel, saying #AxelMania is a joke. Axel eventually tries to punch Hogan, but is blocked. Snoop Dogg then throws Axel over the top rope, leaving him and Hogan to celebrate in the ring.
The Brock Lesnar interview we've heard twice before is played. It's moderately more interesting than both Reigns' and Cena's interviews from earlier. But it says about as much, which is to say nothing more than we've already heard.
Los Matadores (Diego and Fernando, and El Torito) vs. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd and Natalya
The Usos are on commentary; Naomi is standing in the background, because why would we let a woman talk?
This is a rematch from Smackdown. It was sad then. It's not played as much for laughs this time, which is nice. So, it's not good, but it's moderately better than the last time we saw it. So, uh, yeah. There you go. They wrestle and stuff. It's decent-ish. El Torito pins Natalya with a sunset flip.
Match Rating: **
Bad News Barrett gets talked to by Kane backstage. Kane's here to take Barrett's title, so that it will be held in safekeeping before 'Mania. Barrett doesn't want to, but he's told he'll be stripped of it if he doesn't comply. So? Who cares? He can't do anything with it until the ladder match anyway! Whatever. He eventually relinquishes it, and a waste of a segment comes to an end.
Rusev vs. Jack Swagger
The last couple of times we did this they were glorified squash matches. This is the same as those. There's no way that Rusev's "unbeaten" streak is ending the Raw before WrestleMania. That'd just be stupid. Rusev wins with The Accolade in a match that has no interest to anyone.
Match Rating: *1/2
Rusev keeps The Accolade locked in for a while after the match. John Cena comes out to make the save. But Rusev grabs him and drives his spine into the barricade and the ring post. Then he throws him clean across the announcer's table. A big kick and a locked-in Accolade on the announcer's table sees Rusev going into WrestleMania with all the momentum. So you know who's winning (hint: Cenawinslol).
Bray Wyatt comes down to the ring next. I thought perhaps he was going to have his first Raw match in over a month, but he's here to cut a promo. He says some gibberish and then calls The Undertaker a liar. The lights flicker a little bit and Bray just keeps on going. It's a good promo -- one of Wyatt's better ones. He ends it in Undertaker's "pose." No, we don't get to see Undertaker.
Kevin Nash is named as the next inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. I guess he's the last one, isn't he? The class of 2015 is complete.
A Natalya/Tyson Kidd Burger King advertisement happens. It's, uh, what?
<color=red>Special Referee (Dean Ambrose) Match: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
After watching these two absolutely steal the gauntlet match that happened on Smackdown, it made sense for us to get this match on Raw. Did we need a special referee? No, but if we didn't have one then WWE would be giving us something we want for free, and that isn't okay!
They get to do really great things here, too. Their match is wonderfully exciting. There's not much to say beyond, well, it being lots of fun. Ziggler wins clean after a superkick and a Zig Zag. Yes, that's two straight clean wins for Ziggler over Bryan.
Match Rating: ***1/2
Ambrose hits a Dirty Deeds on Ziggler after the match, then he grabs a ladder and begins to climb. Bad News Barrett comes down to stop him, followed by all of the other men who will compete for the Intercontinental Championship at the PPV. They all brawl.
Our main event tonight is not a wrestling match -- because why would a wrestling show conclude with a wrestling match? -- but a "face-to-face confrontation" between Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns. I think they mentioned it was the first time this happened, effectively rendering the snowed-in episode of Raw non-canon, I guess. Or maybe they just forgot.
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman are in the ring first. Heyman gets a mic. He says little more than usual, and even mentions that if he hasn't sold you on Brock Lesnar already, it's pointless to try at this point. But he does so anyway. Reigns gets to follow that promo. Lesnar holds up the title. Reigns takes the title and holds it up, just the same. They then play tug of war with the title. No, seriously. And then we fade out. That's how Raw ends.
The Good: Paige/Nikki. Bryan/Ziggler.
The Bad: Orton/Rollins & J&J. Rusev/Swagger.
Match of the Night: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler.
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.
