Spoilers follow for the May 5th episode of Raw.
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<color=red>20-Man Over-the-Top-Rope Battle Royal for the WWE United States Championship
I'd start with some sort of opening but this match felt rushed onto Raw so I might as well follow suit. Just a few hours before Raw began, Triple H's official Twitter account stated that this match would happen. Dean Ambrose and 19 other men would battle each other in an over-the-top-rope battle royal for the United States Championship. Do you know what that screams? "New United States champion." And, lo and behold, that's exactly what we got.
After a two-segment match, during which Santino Marella eliminated Dolph Ziggler -- no, really -- and Big Show seemingly eliminated half the competitors before he and Mark Henry were ganged up on. The match was chaotic and slow until at least 10 of the men were eliminated, after which they began dropping like flies. We finished with Sheamus eliminating Dean Ambrose for the victory.
So, we're doing this, huh? WWE had Ambrose defend his championship on Smackdown in a fatal four-way, and he retained. Now we're just randomly having him lose it on the following Raw? I mean, I'm happy the title's off Ambrose, as it allows it to do something other than be an afterthought, but still. It's laziness and poor booking on the part of the WWE.
Match Rating: ***
Triple H came out after the match to say that The Shield's luck is changing for the worse, and that along with Ambrose just losing his title, the three of them are going to face the Wyatt Family in the main event. Part of me is excited for this, but the other part of me says we've seen it before and this time it's an unmotivated match. Whatever. It should at least have good in-ring work.
A running backstage theme of this show has Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella being terrified that Kane is going to show up. The first of these comes directly after this match, and has the two of them in a locker room. A loud knock on the door. It's just Stephanie McMahon. She apologizes for her heavy-handed knocking. She's a wonderful troll character. She tells the two of them to stay put until Bryan's match later tonight, as Kane could be anywhere. We'll get three or four more of these. Kane is now The Boogeyman, and Bryan and Brie are Booker T and Sharmell. (Who remembers that feud? I do!)
Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro (with Paul Heyman)
I guess we're continuing this feud. Why? I don't know. Beating Van Dam gives Cesaro some credence, I suppose. I wish it would focus more on the Heyman/Van Dam aspects, but whatever. The two men put on their best match together to-date. It's a back-and-forth tilt, Van Dam hits most of his signature spots, and Cesaro gets a couple of good moves in, too. Cesaro is still trying to get heel heat, as he winds up losing the match via DQ after refusing to stop beating on RVD in the corner. It's not working. I wager they're eventually building to a "Cesaro turns on Heyman and feuds with Lesnar" storyline, but in the interim, it's not working at all. Cesaro's momentum is all but gone by being too popular to be a heel, but still acting like one.
Match Rating: ***
A Bray Wyatt promo is up next, so be prepared to listen but not absorb anything. We're still doing the Wyatt/Cena feud, we find out, but we really don't get much of an explanation of Little Johnny. He's just a symbol, proving to John Cena that he can't fool the children. We're not going the demon child route, it seems. Thank goodness. Bray concludes that he's a god, and then sings "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands."
Ryback (with curtis Axel) vs. Cody Rhodes (with Goldust)
I don't know how or why but I've started to get behind Ryback. Working with Cody Rhodes is a good idea, and the two put on a match that's not at all bad. Another one that has strong moments for both sides, a couple of near falls, Ryback saying "stupid!" a few times, and a finish that continues to tease the inevitable Rhodes brothers breakup. Goldust tries to stop Axel from interfering, is pushed into the ring post, knocks Cody off-balance, and Ryback hits Shell Shocked for the victory.
Match Rating: ***
Another backstage segment has Bryan and Brie sitting in the locker room when all the lights go out. They leave and run into Stephanie, who says she'll pull their car around, into the arena, so they can hop in and get out of Dodge. Bryan claims Stephanie knows exactly what's going on; she pleads innocence.
After the commercial break, Los Matadores and El Torito head to the ring to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, as well as El Torito's victory at Extreme Rules. 3MB comes out, offers -- nay, demands -- a truce, and then a brawl breaks out with Los Matadores "winning." Isn't it sad that this feud is both longer and better than anything happening with the secondary WWE titles?
Kofi Kingston vs. Rusev (with Lana)
So, not only has Rusev now moved to Russia, but he's also dropped the "Alexander" part of his name. He's now just "Rusev." Fine. Lana draws a lot of cheap heat by mentioning Putin, just like she did the night before. Rusev and Kingston have a less squashy match than anything the Bulgarian Brute -- if we can still call him that -- has previously had. This would have been a better PPV match, actually. Rusev gets to show off his athleticism as well as his power, which is something we haven't seen a whole lot of yet. Kingston puts up some offense, which actually adds a bit of doubt to the outcome. And, most importantly, Kingston doesn't immediately tap to The Accolade. He taps fast, but not before Rusev even has it locked in. That's important, WWE, and has only happened, by my count, one other time.
Match Rating: ***
Backstage again, where Bryan and Brie are in the car, ready to leave. A knock on the window. Brie screams. It's just Stephanie. She once again apologizes for her heavy-handed knocking. She informs Bryan that she meant he could leave after his match, not immediately. If he leaves now, he's in breach of contract, and will forfeit his title. Ah ha! It's almost as if Stephanie isn't on Bryan's side after all. Bryan and Brie head to the arena for his match.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan (with Brie Bella)
A long, physical, and overall pretty solid match between the two men. It seems to go forever, although that might just have been because we were waiting for the inevitable: Kane's music. Bryan and Del Rio seem to be perfectly okay with kicking one another over and over again, which is fine by me. Del Rio is a physical opponent, and Bryan's kicks are over, so this works out just fine. There aren't too many near-falls or anything like that, but both men delivered a solid performance. If this Raw is to be remembered for anything, it's for consistently solid in-ring work.
Match Rating: ***1/2
Kane's music hits immediately after Del Rio taps to the Yes! Lock. Bryan and Brie run backstage to their car, but -- shockingly -- it won't start. Bryan pops the hood and finds a loose cable. Once the hood is put down, we see -- shockingly x2 -- Kane is in the car with Brie. She screams and screams and screams and screams and screams and screams and screa-- Sorry, where were we? Right. Bryan and Kane fight for a bit, which eventually puts Kane on the roof, while Bryan drives off. Kane falls off the car, but instead of going, Bryan stops and gets out to see if he's dead. Kane sits up, and Bryan runs back to the car and drives off. Kane laughs and laughs and laughs and lau-- Oh, right, I already did that joke.
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Big E vs. Bad News Barrett
I guess Big E got to cash in his "rematch" clause on Raw. Hey, speaking of which, whatever happened to Randy Orton's rematch? We're not going to forget about that, are we, WWE?
Anyway, this match is almost identical to what the two men put on at Extreme Rules, except it was even better. The changes were small, but indicated the two were "scouting" one another better, providing counters to spots we'd already seen. But, yes, we still got the big spots, like Barrett's elbow drop from the apron to the floor, or Big E's spear to the outside. It was all there, and was a great match between the two of them. If this is an upcoming feud, I'm looking forward to what it can offer.
Match Rating: ****
The next segment has Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger come down to the ring. Colter has come out with a list of people he wants deported from America. On the list are: Cesaro and Paul Heyman, for being liars and betrayers; Emma and Santino Marella, because their dancing is awful; and Sheamus and Paige, for being too pale.
And then a bunch of party people show up. Adam Rose is making his debut! Finally. Zeb Colter's reactions completely make this segment, although the crowd didn't buy in. Swagger is ordered to attack Rose after he prances around for a bit, but Swagger is sent out of the ring. Everyone then celebrates with Rose. Michael Cole does the most embarrassing thing in his career as he starts dancing to Rose's music, trying to sell the moment.
The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan) vs. The Shield (Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins)
It feels like we've seen this match so many times before that it shouldn't be able to entertain. But good in-ring work trumps unoriginality, and both factions are able to deliver in a lengthy and physical match. Strong runs are made by both groups, all the moves you expect to be made are hit, and ... there's not a lot more to say. These stables could face each other every week and deliver a strong bout.
The finish comes when Evolution comes down to the ring, distracting The Shield, and allowing Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail on Reigns. Kind of surprising to see Reigns take the pinfall, but it's not clean, so it's not like it hurts his standing at all.
Match Rating: ****1/2
After the match, Evolution beats up The Shield and eventually hits their own Triple Powerbomb on Reigns, mocking The Shield in the process. I guess we're going to continue to waste Batista and Randy Orton in this feud for another month. Okay, then.
The Good: New United States champion. All of the in-ring work. Stephanie "the master troll" McMahon.
The Bad: Adam Rose's lackluster debut. The booking of the United States Championship (not just this Raw, but for the last while). Kane = Stronger Boogeyman?
Match of the Night: The Wyatt Family vs. The Shield.
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<color=red>20-Man Over-the-Top-Rope Battle Royal for the WWE United States Championship
I'd start with some sort of opening but this match felt rushed onto Raw so I might as well follow suit. Just a few hours before Raw began, Triple H's official Twitter account stated that this match would happen. Dean Ambrose and 19 other men would battle each other in an over-the-top-rope battle royal for the United States Championship. Do you know what that screams? "New United States champion." And, lo and behold, that's exactly what we got.
After a two-segment match, during which Santino Marella eliminated Dolph Ziggler -- no, really -- and Big Show seemingly eliminated half the competitors before he and Mark Henry were ganged up on. The match was chaotic and slow until at least 10 of the men were eliminated, after which they began dropping like flies. We finished with Sheamus eliminating Dean Ambrose for the victory.
So, we're doing this, huh? WWE had Ambrose defend his championship on Smackdown in a fatal four-way, and he retained. Now we're just randomly having him lose it on the following Raw? I mean, I'm happy the title's off Ambrose, as it allows it to do something other than be an afterthought, but still. It's laziness and poor booking on the part of the WWE.
Match Rating: ***
Triple H came out after the match to say that The Shield's luck is changing for the worse, and that along with Ambrose just losing his title, the three of them are going to face the Wyatt Family in the main event. Part of me is excited for this, but the other part of me says we've seen it before and this time it's an unmotivated match. Whatever. It should at least have good in-ring work.
A running backstage theme of this show has Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella being terrified that Kane is going to show up. The first of these comes directly after this match, and has the two of them in a locker room. A loud knock on the door. It's just Stephanie McMahon. She apologizes for her heavy-handed knocking. She's a wonderful troll character. She tells the two of them to stay put until Bryan's match later tonight, as Kane could be anywhere. We'll get three or four more of these. Kane is now The Boogeyman, and Bryan and Brie are Booker T and Sharmell. (Who remembers that feud? I do!)
Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro (with Paul Heyman)
I guess we're continuing this feud. Why? I don't know. Beating Van Dam gives Cesaro some credence, I suppose. I wish it would focus more on the Heyman/Van Dam aspects, but whatever. The two men put on their best match together to-date. It's a back-and-forth tilt, Van Dam hits most of his signature spots, and Cesaro gets a couple of good moves in, too. Cesaro is still trying to get heel heat, as he winds up losing the match via DQ after refusing to stop beating on RVD in the corner. It's not working. I wager they're eventually building to a "Cesaro turns on Heyman and feuds with Lesnar" storyline, but in the interim, it's not working at all. Cesaro's momentum is all but gone by being too popular to be a heel, but still acting like one.
Match Rating: ***
A Bray Wyatt promo is up next, so be prepared to listen but not absorb anything. We're still doing the Wyatt/Cena feud, we find out, but we really don't get much of an explanation of Little Johnny. He's just a symbol, proving to John Cena that he can't fool the children. We're not going the demon child route, it seems. Thank goodness. Bray concludes that he's a god, and then sings "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands."
Ryback (with curtis Axel) vs. Cody Rhodes (with Goldust)
I don't know how or why but I've started to get behind Ryback. Working with Cody Rhodes is a good idea, and the two put on a match that's not at all bad. Another one that has strong moments for both sides, a couple of near falls, Ryback saying "stupid!" a few times, and a finish that continues to tease the inevitable Rhodes brothers breakup. Goldust tries to stop Axel from interfering, is pushed into the ring post, knocks Cody off-balance, and Ryback hits Shell Shocked for the victory.
Match Rating: ***
Another backstage segment has Bryan and Brie sitting in the locker room when all the lights go out. They leave and run into Stephanie, who says she'll pull their car around, into the arena, so they can hop in and get out of Dodge. Bryan claims Stephanie knows exactly what's going on; she pleads innocence.
After the commercial break, Los Matadores and El Torito head to the ring to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, as well as El Torito's victory at Extreme Rules. 3MB comes out, offers -- nay, demands -- a truce, and then a brawl breaks out with Los Matadores "winning." Isn't it sad that this feud is both longer and better than anything happening with the secondary WWE titles?
Kofi Kingston vs. Rusev (with Lana)
So, not only has Rusev now moved to Russia, but he's also dropped the "Alexander" part of his name. He's now just "Rusev." Fine. Lana draws a lot of cheap heat by mentioning Putin, just like she did the night before. Rusev and Kingston have a less squashy match than anything the Bulgarian Brute -- if we can still call him that -- has previously had. This would have been a better PPV match, actually. Rusev gets to show off his athleticism as well as his power, which is something we haven't seen a whole lot of yet. Kingston puts up some offense, which actually adds a bit of doubt to the outcome. And, most importantly, Kingston doesn't immediately tap to The Accolade. He taps fast, but not before Rusev even has it locked in. That's important, WWE, and has only happened, by my count, one other time.
Match Rating: ***
Backstage again, where Bryan and Brie are in the car, ready to leave. A knock on the window. Brie screams. It's just Stephanie. She once again apologizes for her heavy-handed knocking. She informs Bryan that she meant he could leave after his match, not immediately. If he leaves now, he's in breach of contract, and will forfeit his title. Ah ha! It's almost as if Stephanie isn't on Bryan's side after all. Bryan and Brie head to the arena for his match.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan (with Brie Bella)
A long, physical, and overall pretty solid match between the two men. It seems to go forever, although that might just have been because we were waiting for the inevitable: Kane's music. Bryan and Del Rio seem to be perfectly okay with kicking one another over and over again, which is fine by me. Del Rio is a physical opponent, and Bryan's kicks are over, so this works out just fine. There aren't too many near-falls or anything like that, but both men delivered a solid performance. If this Raw is to be remembered for anything, it's for consistently solid in-ring work.
Match Rating: ***1/2
Kane's music hits immediately after Del Rio taps to the Yes! Lock. Bryan and Brie run backstage to their car, but -- shockingly -- it won't start. Bryan pops the hood and finds a loose cable. Once the hood is put down, we see -- shockingly x2 -- Kane is in the car with Brie. She screams and screams and screams and screams and screams and screams and screa-- Sorry, where were we? Right. Bryan and Kane fight for a bit, which eventually puts Kane on the roof, while Bryan drives off. Kane falls off the car, but instead of going, Bryan stops and gets out to see if he's dead. Kane sits up, and Bryan runs back to the car and drives off. Kane laughs and laughs and laughs and lau-- Oh, right, I already did that joke.
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Big E vs. Bad News Barrett
I guess Big E got to cash in his "rematch" clause on Raw. Hey, speaking of which, whatever happened to Randy Orton's rematch? We're not going to forget about that, are we, WWE?
Anyway, this match is almost identical to what the two men put on at Extreme Rules, except it was even better. The changes were small, but indicated the two were "scouting" one another better, providing counters to spots we'd already seen. But, yes, we still got the big spots, like Barrett's elbow drop from the apron to the floor, or Big E's spear to the outside. It was all there, and was a great match between the two of them. If this is an upcoming feud, I'm looking forward to what it can offer.
Match Rating: ****
The next segment has Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger come down to the ring. Colter has come out with a list of people he wants deported from America. On the list are: Cesaro and Paul Heyman, for being liars and betrayers; Emma and Santino Marella, because their dancing is awful; and Sheamus and Paige, for being too pale.
And then a bunch of party people show up. Adam Rose is making his debut! Finally. Zeb Colter's reactions completely make this segment, although the crowd didn't buy in. Swagger is ordered to attack Rose after he prances around for a bit, but Swagger is sent out of the ring. Everyone then celebrates with Rose. Michael Cole does the most embarrassing thing in his career as he starts dancing to Rose's music, trying to sell the moment.
The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan) vs. The Shield (Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins)
It feels like we've seen this match so many times before that it shouldn't be able to entertain. But good in-ring work trumps unoriginality, and both factions are able to deliver in a lengthy and physical match. Strong runs are made by both groups, all the moves you expect to be made are hit, and ... there's not a lot more to say. These stables could face each other every week and deliver a strong bout.
The finish comes when Evolution comes down to the ring, distracting The Shield, and allowing Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail on Reigns. Kind of surprising to see Reigns take the pinfall, but it's not clean, so it's not like it hurts his standing at all.
Match Rating: ****1/2
After the match, Evolution beats up The Shield and eventually hits their own Triple Powerbomb on Reigns, mocking The Shield in the process. I guess we're going to continue to waste Batista and Randy Orton in this feud for another month. Okay, then.
The Good: New United States champion. All of the in-ring work. Stephanie "the master troll" McMahon.
The Bad: Adam Rose's lackluster debut. The booking of the United States Championship (not just this Raw, but for the last while). Kane = Stronger Boogeyman?
Match of the Night: The Wyatt Family vs. The Shield.
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.