Let's say, hypothetically, you purposely drove yourself to the point of having severe a mental breakdown causing you to become psychotic (by that, I mean I've had to stop myself from maliciously attacking someone [leaving them severely beaten] because I wanted to see if I could get away with it) for the sake of creating something that you hope would define an early portion of your career. Now lets say that its over but you're still somewhat in that state of mind. What would be the best way for me to loose this and return to "normal"?
EDIT: I'm trying to be a filmmaker and, despite being 19, I was trying to make something I could present to various film festivals and hopefully get a very early start on my career (it somewhat failed, but that's not the point). I was writing for about two and a half months (about ten minute film), and after a while, I realized that the longer I keep myself in solitude, the harder I push to come up with any sort of idea, and the harsher I am at beating the shit out of myself (when it comes to judging myself), combined with a cocktail of 8 excedrin high strength and about a fourth of a bottle of Jack every other night, the better my ideas ended up being. After about six or seven weeks, I had a mental breakdown when I was having writers block and for the next three days, I was severely depressed and lost most of my ties to reality. I soon learned that a way to make myself feel better was through the misery of someone else. This soon developed to me wanting to do things that would cause chaos on a massive scale.
Luckily, I've been able to bring myself back to reality for the most part, but I'm still having urges towards destructive behavior, though the worst thought I've had was to slam someone's head through their car's driver-side window.
So I guess the question is actually what are some ways to stop myself from having destructive urges.
EDIT: I'm trying to be a filmmaker and, despite being 19, I was trying to make something I could present to various film festivals and hopefully get a very early start on my career (it somewhat failed, but that's not the point). I was writing for about two and a half months (about ten minute film), and after a while, I realized that the longer I keep myself in solitude, the harder I push to come up with any sort of idea, and the harsher I am at beating the shit out of myself (when it comes to judging myself), combined with a cocktail of 8 excedrin high strength and about a fourth of a bottle of Jack every other night, the better my ideas ended up being. After about six or seven weeks, I had a mental breakdown when I was having writers block and for the next three days, I was severely depressed and lost most of my ties to reality. I soon learned that a way to make myself feel better was through the misery of someone else. This soon developed to me wanting to do things that would cause chaos on a massive scale.
Luckily, I've been able to bring myself back to reality for the most part, but I'm still having urges towards destructive behavior, though the worst thought I've had was to slam someone's head through their car's driver-side window.
So I guess the question is actually what are some ways to stop myself from having destructive urges.
