Relationship advice, please. Possibly with ending it.

[CATB320]

So, here's my situation: I've been in a relationship with someone for almost six months. It's going fine and well and I really enjoy being with him. Blablabla. We're a couple years apart -- I'm a senior in high school and he's a sophomore in college. I was planning on going to a college in a different city (an hour's drive), and would probably have broken off the relationship before I left. However, plans have changed and I'll most likely end up going to the university here (the same one he goes to).

The thing is, I don't want to spend my future with this guy. He's great and nice, etc., but I feel like I'm a bit young for a truly serious relationship that could lead to marriage. I feel fairly awful for planning a break-up, but I'm just not ready for it. I'm also planning on enlisting in the Air National Guard (if the recruiter ever answers my calls..........), so there's that. I would spend at least six weeks this summer in basic training. Probably not good for a relationship -- although I'm aware that plenty of couples get through it.

I guess the question here is, should I break up with him sooner or later? So long as he doesn't do it first, of course. I don't want to lead him on in thinking that I'm interested in a much longer-term relationship. But at the same time, he might not be expecting that from me? And why cut off a relationship that's going well just because I don't want to get seriously-serious at seventeen? I'm worried that it will be unfair to him if I stay in the relationship with plans to end it (end of my senior year at the latest). Golly, I just don't know what to do. And I hope you all understand why I'm a little reluctant to talk about this with him.

 

[Giftfromme]

Just tell him "Bro, I'm sorry, but it's over. Build a bridge and get over it"

Nah, in all seriousness, you just have to explain that you need some time to think. Do you know his intentions about how serious he wants to be with the relationship? If he does then you need to leave asap. You cannot be a relationship whereby you have different expectations of the manner of the relationship. Explain he was good to you, but that you have a future to consider, one without him. Or just ask that you will go ahead with all this stuff anyway, and if he isn't willing to go out of his way to keep the relationship etc, then you have found a way out. If he is, either he is clingy, really loves you, or wants something deep, like marriage lol. At that point it would be tough, but end it asap. He will get over it anyway.

 

[btenkink]

Speaking from personal experience, as a sophomore in University (4 years ago) dating a senior in high school in a different town, me holding onto the relationship was the biggest mistake of my life.

This time of life is one of wrenching change and immense personal growth, and unless you grow together, you will most likely barely recognize each other in a couple years.

My ex in high school was the one who had the courage to end it, and I was bitter for a month, but today I'm happily married, she's engaged, and all is well.

If this guy is nice, great, but you don't see a future together, it sounds like he would be an awesome friend. Be tactful but direct, and in the end both of you will be better off.