relationship/ being single rants

[Tsukuyomi]

Honestly, topics like this just make me scratch my head. Everyone complains about their problems and the sheer excess of relationship posts is often mentioned. But...in almost all of those posts that I've seen, there's actually to my knowledge GOOD ADVICE contained within it.

So...what's going on, folks? Are you all just too busy wallowing in cynicism and self-pity to actually shelve your twisted pride and take some bloody advice? See kids, there's this...thing. I think most of the people complaining in this topic have got it. It's this horrible affliction that is more awful than anything physical save for super-ebola. It probably has a real name and whatnot, but personally I call it SSS. Special Snowflake Syndrome.

What is SSS? It's the state of mind that many people are brainwashed, inadvertently, into being. It's peak is typically during the teen years and early 20s. Generally hitting hard when, as usual, life fails to meet the victim's expectations of glory and grandeur.

SSS's main attack is as follows: It makes the victims forget, deny, or somehow otherwise NOT understand that, although they ARE in fact unique on a physical, mental, and emotional level, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT OTHERS HAVE NOT HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCES AS THEM.

Someone tells the victim that they shouldn't worry about having a relationship? That it's just as simple as going up, taking a swing and if you miss you miss? That sometimes you do in fact have to change a bit, not entirely, to be happy?

GASP! SHOCK AND HORROR! HOW can you say that?! You're not THEM! You don't know what they've BEEN through! So tragic! So sad! Feel for them! FEEL I SAY! GIVE THEM THE WORLD ON A SILVER PLATTER!

Sadly....Special Snowflake Syndrome only has one cure, and it doesn't always work. That cure is twofold: Time, and Life Experience. Time as in years, Life Experience as in going out and NOT being on the prowl for love, but just going out and living life and talking to people, and learning the lessons and finding things out the old-fashioned way.

Easy to say but hard to do? Hell yes. Do I perhaps not understand what one or all of you are going through or have gone through? No. I may not.

I, and everyone else here who encourages others and tries to help may not have lived YOUR life, but we've lived OUR lives. and you know what? Many of us DO share some experiences in common. There's good advice being said here, and just about every time a 'romance' topic pops up. Take it. There's no Preparation S that you can rub on this problem to make it magically go away.

Take the tough road, shelve your pride and fears, and just go through with it. Ultimately? You'll be better off.

 

[Wheeleybird]

I was in a great relationship for almost a year.
We gamed together, laughed together, slept together....

and then he dumped me because he felt too comfortable with me and i felt like a friend -_-"
well thats the last time i'm ever friends with my boyfriend then.

 

[Dusty Fred]

A friend advised me that "You're too nice". Nice to have something by way of explanation I suppose.

 

[Whateveralot]

The one girl that I find that's smart, funny, pretty and just overall amazing happens to be one that's not as cuddly as I am.

 

[Von Strimmer]

I have only ever had one "serious" relationship so my experience is limited

and in the end after EVERYHTING Ive read about realtionships...here and other places

Ive decided i want no part in this screwed up game, right now Im fine with being single, I mean is just so COMPLICATED

as for the kind of guy I would like...no Idea, I guess Id lean towards somone who had similar interests, but without uhh "issues" (like sociapathy..thats a turn-off)

Amen to that sir/madam. Although I dont think they are that complicated it just requires you to know the person and to have open communication. Also (to quote the great Commander Shepard) the trick to baggage is finding someone with a matching set

Now for my problem. I was in a long term relationship however it unfortunately came to an end (mutual to a point). Long term is good but the problem with if they end then you find yourself missing the companionship. To anyone on this thread I say that if there are 6 billion people out there odds on the right one is out there for you. You dont need to look in a specific spot for that special person. You just need to start looking. So how about instead of sitting on a thread complaining we got off of our backsides and get out there and start looking. Nothing in life ever comes easy or cheap, you have to work at it but trust me (and others) when I say that coming home to the one (or if your 21 like me and still live at home) makes everything in life seem simpler and nicer Good luck to you all!

 

[Shreddie]

Most of my relationship "troubles" come from my dad pressuring me to get a girlfriend. He's incapable of comprehending that, while I'd like to have a girlfriend, I'm perfectly fine with being single until the right girl comes around.

Unfortunately, I have never in my life met a girl who shares my interests so it could be a while. In the meantime, I've got an awesome best friend and am very happy in my life, even if my dad (and pretty much everyone else) is convinced that I'm gay.

 

[Nickolai77]

Most of my relationship "troubles" come from my dad pressuring me to get a girlfriend. He's incapable of comprehending that, while I'd like to have a girlfriend, I'm perfectly fine with being single until the right girl comes around.

Unfortunately, I have never in my life met a girl who shares my interests so it could be a while. In the meantime, I've got an awesome best friend and am very happy in my life, even if my dad (and pretty much everyone else) is convinced that I'm gay.

Christ you've get weird parents, i can't think of many parents whom actively pressure their kids into a relationship. I'm glad my parents don't.

OT:

I'm pretty much a self-proclaimed nice guy, making friends with women comes naturally to me, in fact i probably more able to make friends with women than guys, but the getting into the relationship part eludes me. My advise to guys like me would be not to let it get you down- being single comes with a lot of benefits, namely you are not reasonable for someone else, only yourself. Your a free agent when your single, and you can do what the heck you like- join the army, travel the world, move to New York, money and want of ambition are your only limits when your single. I've lived with couples before, and they don't look down on you at all, i don't think i've ever been looked down upon for being single.

Of course, being in a relationship is full of benefits as well, both physical and emotional, and is ultimately a requirement if you want to raise a family. And the thing is, most people do end up in a relationship in the end- unless you have the personality and appearance of a mutilated cactus, after all 50% of humans are off the opposite sex.

The important thing to remember, for nice-guys, is to avoid getting preyed upon by exploitive women whom may be gold-diggers or after a glorified dildo. You can afford to keep your standards, but you can't afford to have your life ruined because you got so desperate being single you married some ***** and now you've got a divorce settlement. If you really are "forever alone", you'll have a shit ton of cash to spend on yourself at least. You could find yourself spending £30,000 on a sports car or take up flying lessons, your married work-colleagues won't be able to do that because they've spent their £30,000 on raising children.


It's also probably worth taking a leaf out of the book from guys whom are more successful with women, and try to emulate their confidence perhaps, but underlining everything i've said: Just be cool, being single isn't all that bad.

 

[black_omega2]

Well I can't say that I've never had relationship problems because, well, I never was concerned about it. I intend to just graduate, and get the hell out of here to start over somewhere else. A relationship would be kinda pointless unless I and my partner knew that we'd go our separate ways after high school.

Well in an interesting twist that's exactly what happened. I guess the universe just likes me or something.

My school started doing these 'late starts' on Wednesdays in which the buses ran on a normal schedule while school started roughly an hour later. Well my friend and I decided to use that time to throw a dance party. After all was said and done (and it was a lot of fun) some girl walks up to me, and we started talking. Before that I was vaguely aware of her existence. She was a friend of a friend that was sometimes just there, but we never directly interacted. Anyways, we had to go to our classes, so we said our goodbyes and went on our ways.

After that we'd talk to each other all the time in person or online. Then we started hanging out together, and pretty much one thing led to another.

I didn't really expect anything from her, and she did the same. See, she was going to move to Wales after she graduated, so she wasn't expecting any relationships either.

So, I wanted to have something temporary with her along the lines of friends with benefits. However, I soon found out we had something else in common.

I'm a pretty weird guy. I consider myself pansexual, my fetishes extend to Slaanesh knows where, and I'm very open about it. This is another reason I didn't care about relationships because I knew I needed somebody to satisfy my perversions. Otherwise I would be unhappy and there would be no point.

It turns out that she had a bit of a dark streak as well, and she was into BDSM. So, she ended up becoming my sub, and we live happily to this day.


Honestly though, not being in a relationship isn't the end of you. What matters most is that you're happy. You shouldn't need to depend on another person to 'make you whole,' or something like that.

TLDR: Be happy, alone or otherwise.

 

[Xeraxis]

The fact that my personality consists of being very laid-back and introverted, as well as having NO female experience whatsoever doesn't help chances to appeal to girls. I have been single all life, and at some points, it really can be distraughtful. Other times, I really try to get myself to believe I don't need one. For quite some time, it works until that angst creeps back again and I become a little spiteful.

I'd say my attitude about it has changed a bit for the better compared to my high school years. But currently, I'm in college, and as much as I try to not let the situation bother me, it's hard to ignore.

The thing that bothers me alot is all the useless advice people say. "Be confident" and all that cliche stuff, but none of them ever bother to go into detail HOW to be that. They just say a few stupid things and end it, as if you're instantly gonna be a different person when you wake up tomorrow because of what they said.

Even though I'm more social now than ever, it still doesn't help. I basically get avoided like the plague, even if I pull that "fake confidence" gig. There is only so much consistancy you can contribute to a certain situation if there is no progress being made after time.

I have been lately pondering that I may be one of the those "lucky" few people who go through life without a relationship, as negative as it may sound. I honestly think as of now, it is something that I can accept. Maybe I'm just not fit to be good in the "girls" department. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person that has never had a relationship during their life.



Well...that took some pressure out of my mind. I really needed to get that out of my system.