Relationship Closure...

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Josh Kurber

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Jul 5, 2010
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I was dating this girl for two and a half years... we broke up on our two and a half year anniversary... That was May... We used to talk a lot, until she got a new boyfriend, who, according to the way she speaks of him, is a hundred times better than me in every way. I have tried dating, but I break it off because I am still in love with her, and don't feel right "leading" other girls on if I can't return their feelings.

And, she texted me tonight, after ignoring my texts for weeks, just to start a fight... and I was just hoping if anyone knew some sure fire ways of getting closure before matters get worse?

EDIT: In case anyone asks: No, she doesn't love me anymore, nor does she even treat me like a close friend anymore. I'm just her punching bag when she gets pissed, and she texts at me to yell at me about any little thing.

And I am too nice to tell her to fuck off and leave me alone...
 

Krion_Vark

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Mar 25, 2010
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If shes trying to pick a fight she is most likely just trying to stop liking you in any way shape or form. She most likely isn't making him out to be better than you because she thinks that its so that you will get pissed at her so she will have a reason to stop liking you all together and then be able to move on.

Quite frankly just try talking to her if she starts to try and pick a fight ignore it or say I am not fighting with you we did not break up on bad terms I am not doing it like this then stop answering her texts until she stops trying to pick a fight.
 

Josh Kurber

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Jul 5, 2010
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Krion_Vark said:
If shes trying to pick a fight she is most likely just trying to stop liking you in any way shape or form. She most likely isn't making him out to be better than you because she thinks that its so that you will get pissed at her so she will have a reason to stop liking you all together and then be able to move on.

Quite frankly just try talking to her if she starts to try and pick a fight ignore it or say I am not fighting with you we did not break up on bad terms I am not doing it like this then stop answering her texts until she stops trying to pick a fight.
That's the thing, she won't ever text me back when I try talking to her, and when she does, we get into a friendly conversation, which brings back some of the past feelings. Then she ignores me for weeks until she is pissed about some lie that her ***** friend tells her about me.
 

Paksenarrion

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Mar 13, 2009
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I would try to lure you to the Dark Side, but you seem to be made of firmer stuff. I'll just leave you with these words to ponder:

Peace is a Lie, there is only Passion.
Through Passion, I gain Strength.
Through Strength, I gain Power.
Through Power, I gain Victory.
Through Victory, my Chains are Broken.
 

AnsonDarkeblade

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Jan 20, 2010
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Mate, I've been in your shoes with two different girls. One was my first g/f who I dated for about 3 years, the next was another girl I dated about two years later, for about a year.

Some people are just mean and rotten and inconsiderate. The only thing I learned is that putting up with "bad" behavior only encourages it. I'm not saying that you should punch her in the vag for trying to start a fight, but if she ignored your (I'm assuming) civil texts, then there's no reason you should subject yourself to her rudeness.

You don't have to tell her to fuck off, and it's perfectly normal to have lingering feelings for someone you've dated for anything over a year, I think. They're easy to dredge back up, and that kinda sucks, but that's just how it goes.

Sorry for rambling, as I'm basically just seconding Krion_Vark's post, but the best thing you can do is try to just keep on keepin' on, do the things you still enjoy, do the things you have to do like school and work (do NOT let your life get derailed because of this), and eventually, those memories won't be so easy to drag up, and you will be able to give someone else your full attention/affection.

Good luck, bro.
 

CarpathianMuffin

Space. Lance.
Jun 7, 2010
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Just bear through it. My ex did the same, and still continues in trying to make me feel inadequate in comparison to her new boyfriend/recent husband.
Then again, she was a bit knocked in the head, so... whatever works for you. Just tell her that you're not in the mood for bickering, or something of the sort.
 

Yureina

Who are you?
May 6, 2010
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Paksenarrion said:
I would try to lure you to the Dark Side, but you seem to be made of firmer stuff. I'll just leave you with these words to ponder:

Peace is a Lie, there is only Passion.
Through Passion, I gain Strength.
Through Strength, I gain Power.
Through Power, I gain Victory.
Through Victory, my Chains are Broken.
I played through that game earlier this week. :D

On topic, I'd say ignore her. That obviously is alot harder than it sounds, but if she is just using you as someone she can try to cause trouble with, then chances are you will be able to convince yourself to ignore her after a time. Once that is done, you will be able to either start anew, have this girl realize that you can, in fact, live without her, or some other likely desirable result for you.
 

Julianking93

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May 16, 2009
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Really, all I can say is that you should just ignore her.

She's obviously trying to piss you off and it's best to just ignore people when they do that shit. Especially when it's a ***** of an ex.

Seriously though, ignore her and move on. It may be difficult but it's best to put your mind on other things and forget about her. Know that she isn't worth the trouble she causes and your life will be much better for it.
 

lostzombies.com

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Apr 26, 2010
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Josh Kurber said:
I was dating this girl for two and a half years... we broke up on our two and a half year anniversary... That was May... We used to talk a lot, until she got a new boyfriend, who, according to the way she speaks of him, is a hundred times better than me in every way. I have tried dating, but I break it off because I am still in love with her, and don't feel right "leading" other girls on if I can't return their feelings.

And, she texted me tonight, after ignoring my texts for weeks, just to start a fight... and I was just hoping if anyone knew some sure fire ways of getting closure before matters get worse?

EDIT: In case anyone asks: No, she doesn't love me anymore, nor does she even treat me like a close friend anymore. I'm just her punching bag when she gets pissed, and she texts at me to yell at me about any little thing.

And I am too nice to tell her to fuck off and leave me alone...
#1 change your phone number, the only successful way to deal with a breakup from soemthing meaningful is to cease contact..and I mean cease. No texts or looking at her facebook profile etc, everything.

#2 go out and have fun, you dont have to go get another girl just go out with mates and have fun it will take your mind off it and you will eventually find someone else by having fun and being yourself. Everyone knows if you actually go out wanting to find a girl, you most likely will not find one (or at least one that will amount fo what you need)

#3 when you start/continue feeling lovey/happy towards her remember that she ended it BECAUSE SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU/WHAT YOU STAND FOR if she was so great and deserving of your love then she would still be with you. She ended it because she wants/thinks she can do better. You don't need someone like that. ever.
 

Josh Kurber

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Jul 5, 2010
460
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lostzombies.com said:
Josh Kurber said:
I was dating this girl for two and a half years... we broke up on our two and a half year anniversary... That was May... We used to talk a lot, until she got a new boyfriend, who, according to the way she speaks of him, is a hundred times better than me in every way. I have tried dating, but I break it off because I am still in love with her, and don't feel right "leading" other girls on if I can't return their feelings.

And, she texted me tonight, after ignoring my texts for weeks, just to start a fight... and I was just hoping if anyone knew some sure fire ways of getting closure before matters get worse?

EDIT: In case anyone asks: No, she doesn't love me anymore, nor does she even treat me like a close friend anymore. I'm just her punching bag when she gets pissed, and she texts at me to yell at me about any little thing.

And I am too nice to tell her to fuck off and leave me alone...
#1 change your phone number, the only successful way to deal with a breakup from soemthing meaningful is to cease contact..and I mean cease. No texts or looking at her facebook profile etc, everything.

#2 go out and have fun, you dont have to go get another girl just go out with mates and have fun it will take your mind off it and you will eventually find someone else by having fun and being yourself. Everyone knows if you actually go out wanting to find a girl, you most likely will not find one (or at least one that will amount fo what you need)

#3 when you start/continue feeling lovey/happy towards her remember that she ended it BECAUSE SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU/WHAT YOU STAND FOR if she was so great and deserving of your love then she would still be with you. She ended it because she wants/thinks she can do better. You don't need someone like that. ever.
Actually, the break up was my idea... because neither of us were as happy, but once we broke up, I regretted my decision, but she said "If we're going to break up, I want to be an actual break up, not an on and off thing."

Also, I have found another girl. A model, to be honest.