Relationship problem and stuff

[weallneedhelp]

So, i fell in love with a girl who at first was just my friend. But from the start she considered me more than just a friend. We've been together for almost a month now and she really like me too, and something happened.
While texting me, she sent the text to her dad who is not quite aware of whats happening, and now kind of hate me (he phoned me to tell me to stop texting her daugther), though he spoke quite calmly. And her parents now disapprove of this relationship. (we are both 17)
Any advice of how to proceed?

 

[senordesol]

Why don't they approve? Usually parents will have a reason to put the kibosh on a relationship. Even if it's illegitimate, it's important context before proceeding.

Further, it's worth exploring what she wants to do. They're her parents, not yours and while she's still technically a minor, you guys are a breath away from adulthood so it's time to start making the adult decisions. That said she IS still technically a minor which means that you can find yourself in a world of legal hurt if you don't tread carefully.

In short: my advice is to make sure her parents know how you feel about her (and how she feels about you) that you are genuine (if you are) and promise to be a good boyfriend to her. Be respectful, be polite, and seek to understand what their concerns are then proceed from there.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

What's the age of consent where you are? If it's 16 then you can be a bit more assertive about the whole thing. If not, then tell them you're not having sex. Parents are always going to be overprotective, lying to your in-laws is something everyone does. See if you can talk to him and explain everything and that you're not an asshole and you should be fine. If not, then there's not too much you can do, it's up to your girlfriend to stand up to her parents about it.

 

[Galletea]

If you like her and she likes you then her parents will probably come around to the idea eventually. Parents are often over protective, and depending on the contents of the text, can over react at times. Talk it over with your girlfriend and let her be the one to talk to her parents first. At 17 you might be young but you are not children, so you have to be mature about it for them to take you seriously. Let her talk to them, try to find out what they are afraid of, and then address their misconceptions of you.

 

[Vegosiux]

Fathers do often have a problem with "my little girl" growing up, I hear. For now, I think it's best that she takes it up with them, and you don't interfere in their family life. Take it slow and easy.

 

[weallneedhelp]

Her dad think that we could have had sex (which we did'nt), and i think there's a possibilty of ethnicity problem with her dad towards me

She too told me to take this slow for now, and let her parents cool down a little bit (Specially her dad).
(It would seem that now, she loves me even more)
Thanks for the replies, i really appreciate it

 

[Jonluw]

Ugh, they're the kind of people who think it's a serious problem if 17 year olds have sex?
I'm happy those people are as scarce as they are where I live.

What would I do?
Well, I don't have any experience to draw from, but I'd do my best to not provoke her parents in any way and attempt to show them that I'm a trustworthy person who won't just use and leave their daughter. Not by actively going out of my way to prove myself of course. As your girlfriend says, you should take it slow and not be too present, but whenever I'd happen to interact with them, I'd do so in the most corteous manner I could manage without looking like a suck-up.
Of course, if ethnicity is really a problem with her dad I'd be more tempted to tell him to shove a large spiky dildo up his ass, but that should probably be avoided.

 

[Soopy]

I have two daughters, both young but never the less.

Go talk to the guy. Not as her father, but as another man. Just be mature about things dude. Biggest issue older men have with younger men is that more often the not, younger men display a distinct lack of maturity and testicular fortitude.

What is the ethnicity issue?

I ask, because obviously different cultures have different inclinations about what a "man" is.
I come from an Italian background and my family has drastically different ways in which we think men should conduct themselves to that of the equivalent anglo families.

It might be a little weird. But perhaps try and adopt the qualities your Girl friends father wants to see. If only to put his mind at ease.

 

[weallneedhelp]

For the ethnicity issue,
its more because we belong to different religious denominations, but still we live in a multicultural/multiracial country, so the father has some serious issue.